Wednesday, 20 June 2012
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shooting blanks... (don't even go there)
I don't know what to write about anymore. I communicate better when I write. If I have to see a psychiatrist or some counselor, I'll just bring my laptop along and exchange messages. I wrote a draft entry but deleted it. I just sound like some 14 yr old emo kid who can't handle life. But I do feel strangely vulnerable and insecure. Maybe it's just stress. My stomach has been acting up today. I just took a pill so I could sleep. I'm tired of sleeping between 2 and 3 AM and waking up around 6. Sometimes it takes me an hour to get out of bed.
So to help with my writer's block. What would you like me to write about? Should I make up a story about you? Give me some ideas.I am behind reading your entries and responding to your comments. I hope the Xanga gods will understand.
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Comments (29)
A day in the life of a cyberstalker
just keep writing. who cares how it reads? write first edit/delete later! :)
@christao408 - HA! That's a funny one. But also interesting.
btw totally thought u got snipped! :D
funny. i've been keeping virtually the same exact sleep schedule. i totally agree with yang1815. you're such a eloquent writer, and yes, we enjoy your writing. but write whatever you want that would be helpful to just get out without worrying about an audience. IMO, i always find the most raw, brutally honest with yourself kinda of stuff to be most therapeutic to get out. and this is so hilarious: "If I have to see a psychiatrist or some counselor, I'll just bring my laptop along and exchange messages." glad you didn't get snipped.
I've felt the same recently. If you read my latest post I do just sound like an emo kid hahaha. Just blog when you feel like it...:)
Take a break and get some me time.
I think Chris got it right, bro. Write about Chris and Tawn as being your parents. Not a bad gig. I mean, Chris has a wide range of friends, hangs out in tons of restaurants and loves exotic foods. You'd have it made with a dad like Chris. Go ahead, give it your best shot. I think Chris would enjoy it. He's dying to become a dad and what greater of a son than you !
Yeah, I like Chris' idea. Also, can you make me and you work colleagues? Haha
I always have something to write and blog about. maybe you could do Seedsower's challenge with the writing something everyday.
I agree with what @devilzgayasianboi said
No pressure. Just write whenever you feel like it. :)
There are no Xanga gods. You're responsible. Be responsible.
go past your comfort zone of blogging and short fiction and give me a poem entitled, Islands of Hemlock
You can write about any of us Matt. Start off with Tawn and Chris. I don't care. I just love to read whatever you write. You could even say things about elevator music for all that is, and I will read it with a smile.
Get some good sleep tonight.
@christao408 - I will be your worst nightmare...hahaha.
@StupidSystemus - a cyberstalker? I am not a techie but I will give this a try.
@yang1815 - sometimes my mind is just blank.
@caki730 - hahaha... no I didn't get snipped. I do sometimes just let my thoughts flow onto my blog. But lately it takes a lot more effort to write something.
@Devilzgaysianboi - I feel like I'm constipated. Lots of thoughts inside but they aren't coming out.
@pika_whoosh - I will check your post... you've never sounded like an emo kid to me before.
@Fatcat723 - I don't have a lot of vacation days left. But I did sneak some long breaks these past few days.
@catstemplar2 - I will give that a try, it'll be an interesting exercise.
@stepaside_loser - hmm... this is gonna be tricky. I'll have to get a bit creative since you're anonymous. I'll pretend you're 6'8" & 250 lbs of muscle... but a sensitive soul deep inside.
@Babyboomerjill - I saw her list - it is impressive. I have a lot of respect for those that can write daily.
@MzKeekz - your profile picture always makes me smile. I just feel a lot of my thoughts are just bottled up inside. So maybe I should just write something else and eventually they will all come out.
I think you should take a vacation. Not in writing, either, but in person. Go somewhere, with your boyfriend, for a week or so. Go to Ottawa, or Vancouver or Thailand or Jupiter, but take a few days and escape from it all. Escape, refresh, embolden.
I'm more behind than you. I will attempt to blog tonight.
@ElusiveWords - Hah! If that's the impression I give, that's pretty cool lol.
@secade - you're not the first one to suggest a vacation. I've been using almost all of my vacation days taking my dad to his various appts (1/2 day here, 1/2 day there). He's had his cataracts removed this year and I took some time off to be with him at his house. It hasn't been easy trying to balance everything this year. I think I've fooled myself into thinking that I can do w/o time off.
@Roadlesstaken - and now we find out you've been blogging elsewhere.
Seriously, it's tough to keep up writing when there are so many other things on the go.
matt, with everything that's been happening, there should be NO pressure for you to write. i agree, like you, many of us communicate better in writing. however, sometimes what's needed is NO communication what so ever. when one hits that "writer's block" wall, one could just chill and not force oneself to write something. sometimes the act of NOT writing can be a equivalent to a meditation. let the mind take the time to relax a bit. not to work so much. eventually, it'll come around and filled with ideas. THEN you can take the time to post something. really, as much as i love to read your posts, i don't think it's healthy for you to force yourself to constantly overwork your brain. take it easy, matt. seriously.
@rudyhou - hey Rudy... appreciate the advice. I do love to write and it's frustrating for me when I can't come up with anything. It's also cathartic sometimes when I write so I feel like I got so many things bottled up inside.