Thursday, 09 August 2012
I wish I could sing in tune. I was driving with the windows down, radio blaring and I'm singing my lungs out to a Coldplay song. When I turn the volume down a bit, I'm aware how bad I really sound. I mean, I could make a living by threatening to sing to someone. "Pay me $20 now or else I'll sing to you." Pigs squealing and long wet farts sound better than my singing. There's no way I could serenade anyone. Well - maybe a drunk moose might pay attention to me.
I wish I could play the guitar or the piano. It would automatically enhance my image of being artsy, romantic and cultured. I can play do re mi with one finger on a piano. Unfortunately I usually get a one finger response for my efforts. But I really think guys that tickle the keyboards or play the guitar are just so cool.
I wish I could dance instead of madly flailing around like someone in a satanic cult ritual. When I hear a song I like I would start to "dance". I am sure if I went on stage to do a sexy dance, I would have to pump my audience full of viagra first. I wouldn't know what to do with the female members of my audience. Maybe I could dance and read 50 Shades of Grey at the same time.
I wish I could blog daily and include videos. I'm thinking of Chris specifically whose videos are well edited, written and filmed. I'm sure it takes a lot of effort just to pull together a few minutes of video. Bravo Chris... take a bow.
I wish I could fight. I can do a mean scowl when I'm walking around at night. But I'm like this small annoying dog that barks very loud but has no bite. Maybe if I'm attacked I'll do a dance, sing to them and bite them.