March 31, 2008

  • Spare some change?

    There were hints of spring as my bf and I went to Chinatown.  It was
    still cold but you didn’t have to bundle up. 
    The stoic and tired faces of pedestrians have started to transformed to
    courteous nods and smiles.  We both had chores that day and time was of the
    essence.  We split up and made
    arrangements to meet up afterwards.  I
    have a bit of a love hate relationship with Chinatown.  The sidewalks and streets are always messy.  The hungry stores spill out to the sidewalks,
    like the protruding stomach of a child starving for food.  It’s almost always crowded and parking can be
    difficult sometimes. 

    On the plus side, it’s great for people watching, the stores
    and restaurant are always interesting, prices for fruits and veggies are pretty
    good and Kensington Market is just around the corner. 

    As I was making my way through the crowd, I noticed a hand
    holding out a hat.  It was a panhandler and he didn't didn’t say
    a word.  He just stood off to the
    side.  He was an older Chinese
    man.  I gave him some change and he
    nodded.  As I continued on my chores, I
    kept thinking of the panhandler.  Who was
    he?  How did he end up like this?  Does he have any family?  Or was this just a ruse?  I’ve fallen for those sad stories a couple of
    times and have gotten somewhat cynical. 

    When I made my way back to meet up with my bf, I made a
    point of going past him again.  He was
    still there.  His clothes were plain, simple
    and somewhat thin for the weather.  He
    was probably in his late 60’s and perhaps early 70’s.  I gave him some more change – enough for a
    sub and a coffee.  I took a quick glance
    back at him as the crowd slowly pushed me forward.  He was picking up the change from the
    hat. 

    Was it money well spent? 
    Or was he simply going to waste it on alcohol?  And why did a give him a bit more money?  Was it because he was Asian and maybe that
    tugged at my heart and my biases a bit more?  I don’t
    really know.  Maybe I did get scammed.  But maybe he might be okay for another day.  
     

Comments (23)

  • Wow you are so kind hearted!! Good karma coming towards you =)
    Don't think too much whether it's a ruse or not, coz it's not important.
    As long as you gave him sincerely, that's the most important =)

  • You did it because he was an Asian. All expats feel that way about country cousins. Same questions surface up....the end result is that you always feel, that that particular person shouldn't have been so lonely and so needy to want to ask for help from strangers.  But you are a good person. Thats why you open your heart up. Its in giving, that you recieve, Matt.

    Please check my message out.

  • I have the same dilemma with pan handlers.
    The thing is - there are places where they could stay for free and I always offer to grab them a cheap cheeseburger from McDonald's. I refrain from giving them cash because I have no idea whether they are going to spend it on alcohol or drugs.
    There are only a couple that I use to pass by on my way to work and one of them was actually trying to get himself off the street. I heard about his story. He lost his wife and child in a car accident and he just didn't care about anything. He let himself go and get lost. After a while, he decided to end it. He tried to give away Christian newspapers for spare change at a skytrain station, telling everyone, "God Bless You." After a couple of months, he got a haircut but was still begging.
    It's been a couple years now and I haven't seen him around. I keep an eye out whenever I'm downtown but I cross my fingers and hope that he picked himself out of the ditch he dug for himself.

    Some of the are good cases but I feel that majority of them aren't. Then there are the scammers too that only dress up to try to feed off other people's pity.
    =T

    It's your call.
    =]
    You have a tender heart.

  • i believe what matters is you thought of helping him. if he had been scheming, well that's his problem already. and basing from your previous entries (as far as i have read), you're got a kind heart.

  • I have similar thoughts as well, always wondering how they ended up as elderly beggars.  Alcohol? Gambling? Who knows?

  • Well first of all that's very sweet of you to give him money twice.  I think in these cases when your heart feels generous and you want to give more money it's best just to leave it at that.  Sure he might spend it on alcohol but maybe he really needs that money for food.  

  • Oh and RYC about "Up The Yangtze".  The part that really got me was the part at the beginning where the mother was sending off the daughter to work on the cruise ship.  When she starts to cry and says, "Send money back to your father and mother but don't spare any money on feeding yourself well.".  That almost killed me. 

  • i like your observation of how people's friendliness warms up with the weather!

    i always feel bad when i see people begging for money, but i never can bring myself to give them anything because i am too cynical that it is a ruse or they will end up spending it on alcohol.  i guess what did it for me was when this guy was going around campus back in undergrad in an electric wheelchair begging for money, and people were feeling sorry for him...  and then the next time i saw him he had rolled his wheelchair up to the front door of my class, got out (there were stairs you had to go down to get into the room), and was walking down the aisles of the classroom begging for money.  well, i figured if he could charge up his electric wheelchair every night he didn't need my money, and he certainly didn't need the wheelchair since he could walk, and since then i can't bring myself to give money to beggars. 

  • I agree with Zsa_MD. You may have done it partly because he is Asian, but thats alright for your intention was pure!

  • The less cloths we have to hide behind the more open and friendlier we become. I seldom quote scripture but "When you did it to the least of my brothers, you did it to me." That translates into good karma for a good act. Congrats! I always try to give to the beggers.

  • intention of the heart... that's what will hold true..

    you gave out of kindness and seeing a need,

    what he does with the money is up to him.

    best wishes,

      *~matthew~*

  • Giving without expectation of anything in return is the only way to make merit.  If you know that the giving will cause the person harm, then you should not give.  But there's no way to know that he would be harmed by your generosity.  In the worst case, you could always give him food or something he can use such as toothpaste, soap, etc.

  • I'm with Aaron on this one ... I too never give money having had a similar experience. The lad I gave change to I found in the LCBO buying beer with my own money. I swore off giving then and there and have never since ... in fact, I would say I'm a pretty nasty person when I'm ever approached as G can attest to

  • I don't usually give to panhandlers. But when a friend gave on one occasion, he explained to me that the panhandler probably needs it more than him no matter what the reasons are (even if they made up stories). It was very kind of him, and you, to give others the benefit of the doubt.

  • @Vitamin_D - I've been scammed a couple of times too.  Grr.... Thank you for dropping by. 

  • it's very nice of you to give money twice...i'm usually a cynic in these kind of situations. i think the only times i given money was when they actually approach my friends and i. we felt kinda bad, so we gave some money.

  • Maybe it was his age rather than his being Asian that prompted you to give....and when we give it's a gift....gifts come with no strings, or at least they're suppose to....if he does buy alcohol or drugs does it matter? Perhaps this is how he gets through the day from what ever his life has happened to bring him where he is....For what you did is a gift, your kindness helped you because it fulfills the part of you that is a sensitive beautiful giving creature ....well done Matt, I hope the weather continues to warm up for you and the sights of Spring fill your being.. 'Til The Next

  • when i was young and staying at the Phillipines..me and my grandmother saw an old lady by the church asking for money...we were so sad, so my grandmother instead of giving money, she gave her food which she was truly greatful..

    so i guess it kind of stuck on me that whenever i see a pandhandler I rather give food then money

    and also i've been scammed a couple of times by giving money...

    they would use it for gambling and cigerettes!

    anyways that was very admirable for you to do, good fortune smiles upon you ^^

  • There are worse things you could do with your money.

  • not a need to question any of it...follow  your heart...

    giving is everything... if we give with wanting to direct what one does with the gift...

    how is that a gift... give with no thought after you give... this is the best gift of all

    LOVE is...

    ryc: yes i have been a way a time from xanga and now am writing again...

    being with just myself at night and on weekends lets me take a look at the world

    and see what is important...when you live as long as i have you finally get what

    this life is about...

    i still learn many things in life and yet know this...

    LOVE is...

    katie...meikaili

  • @luvmei - it's good to see you back. 

  • Much appreciate for your kind heart to help the poor.

  • @ofchan - thanks for comment and for dropping by.   

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment