blogging

  • The Missing Bloggers

    Where do bloggers go when they stop blogging?  How is it that life can get in the way of what once was a passion? 

    I miss your soul searching entries.  Usually they were simple things about what you did today.  It wasn’t terribly exciting but I got to see a wisp of what you do.  I laughed when you shared a funny moment or a joke.  Your wit & your dry sense of humour helped me unwind after a long day.  Sometimes you don’t even mind if I laughed at you.  I knew it was a good entry when I was still smiling after I commented on your entry. 

    It was always interesting to read about your travels, your love of food, travels, books, planes, photography, music & art.  I loved how you carefully crafted an entry.  Each word had a purpose.  Your entries triggered memories, emotions and moods.  I saw what you wrote.  I felt what you felt.  Your words carried me away to your mind.  It was intimate and beautiful.  Your video entries captivated me.  So that’s what you look and sound like. 

    Sometimes though, you were angry or sad.  The burdens of work and life took a toll on you.  You poured your heart out when you had relationship issues.  You were inconsolable.  The worse was when darkness descended on your life.  There wasn’t anything to do but to pray and hope. 

    I marvel how tough you are and how resilient you can be.  I envied how some things can be so easy for you.  How did you cook that dish?  How did you write so well?  Even with the same camera and same lens, I know I can’t capture images as well as you can.  I cheered as you lost another pound, ran another mile or met someone new.  It was heartening watching you conquer your fears or marking another milestone in life. 

    So why did you stop blogging?  Or did you move elsewhere?  Was it tumblr, Facebook, Blogger,  WordPress or gasp… Twitter? 

    I wanted to let you know that I missed you and hope you are doing well.

     

  • Happy Birthday Kelvin

    Today would have been Kelvin’s 34th birthday.  I’ve written about him here.  He passed away 3 years ago, just 3 days shy of his birthday. I forgot it was his birthday until I got one of those birthday reminders.  I didn’t even remember putting a reminder.  But I haven’t forgotten about him.  It must seem strange that I can call someone a friend even though I have never met that person.  But he was and I wished he was still around so I could wish him a Happy Birthday.  He didn’t seem particularly bothered that I haven’t met him.  To him, it was just a matter of time before we met up.  After awhile we just sort of developed a sense of mutual trust and respect. I think he knew how much I appreciated that friendship.  It’s too bad I couldn’t have told him that in person.   

    Alas, friendships can be so fragile.  I do appreciate the community here.  You’re supportive, funny and down to earth  And you folks think I’m a nice guy even though you’ve never met me.  I’m not really a nice guy … just 1% of the time.  I could be some deranged stalker looking for my next victim.  But that would have reduced the number of subscribers & comments I receive. 

  • Matt talks with Xanga

    Xanga:  Matt, I read your last blog.  Are you leaving me?

    Moi:  No but I can’t really commit to a long term relationship with you.

    Xanga: Was it something I did?

    Me:  No, it’s not you, it’s me.

    Xanga:  $#^#@^   I hear that line so many times!  So it’s not me but do you know how many people have dumped me in the past few years? 

    Matt:  Well, I’m sorry to hear that.  I guess it hasn’t been easy for you to form long term relationship with bloggers. 

    Xanga: So many of you have left. You guys don’t like to blog anymore?  Have I not been good to you? 

    Mateo:  It’s just that there are so many pressures on my time.  I feel like I’m pulled in so many directions. 

    Xanga:  What about the support and feedback from the community?  Didn’t you enjoy that? 

    Mats:  I did and still do.

    Xanga:  I know I know… we’re not physically here so it’s easier to dump us.

    Mathias:  No no… I’m not dumping you.  I just don’t know if I’m able to blog regularly.  It’s does require some form of a commitment not just to write but to read and comment.  It’s the joys of fully participating that requires more of a commitment.  It’s an hour here and an hour there, it adds up.

    Xanga:  bummed

    Matti:  Stop that, you know I don’t like you to use guilt to manipulate me.

    Xanga: After all these years, you’ve found some one else haven’t you?  Is it that corporate, high flying WordPress?  Or have you gone goo goo for Blogger?  Don’t tell me you’ve fallen from trampy tumblr!  Is it that effing Facebook?  Have you decided to just tweet instead?  Surely it’s not LJ?

    Mattie:  No, I’m not seeing anyone of them at all… honest.

    Xanga:  Hmm… so what do you want to do?  Is this it?  Is this your last entry?  Should I shut down your account?

    マシュー:  No, it’s nothing like that.  I’m just trying to find some balance in my life.  You’re a key part of it.  I just don’t think I can be here daily.  Maybe I can still be here on a semi regular basis.

    Xanga:  You have a commitment problem don’t you?  After all these years, you’ve never even got Lifetime Premium.  I should have suspected this about you.  You teased me when you got your True badge.  I should get that back from you. 

    Mattias: Seriously… I have my own health to worry about, work sucks and has sucked for awhile, I got to spend a bit more time with my dad and… why I am telling you this?  I’ve already blogged about this!

    Xanga:  I just feel like this loyal friend who gets dumped all the time.  You go off and enjoy your life.

    wehttaM:  You still have a lot of folks who are loyal to you.   I have faith that this new Product Council will help you carve a stronger and well defined segment out there.  Xanga Mobile looks like it’ll help keep more of your bloggers too. 

    Xanga:  You’ll still be around?

    Matman:  yes, I’ll still be around. 

    Xanga:  So many of you have left, it’s not easy.  I always thought I would hang on to all of you for a long time.  Some of you have been here since high school and have graduated from college already. I’ve always thought it would be neat to keep a blogger from high school to retirement. 

    Ματθαίος:  People do change.  I think there will always be a core group of bloggers that will remain.  But I do admit, I miss a lot of the old gang.  

    Xanga:  When will your next entry be?  tomorrow? 

    M:  I don’t know, maybe before the end of the week. 

    Xanga: Ok – no pressures. *sniff*

    Onetonman:  *hugs* 

    (ed. note:  I can never figure out Matt.)

     

  • Have a good weekend

    I broke one of my blogging rules with yesterday’s entry.  I never really wanted to post family issues in public.  I’m always leery about someone who knows me in real life will stumble on my blog.  If that happens…  c’est la vie.  Even though I blog anonymously, I still try to blur some of the facts.  I usually say things like “the other day, a distant relative, someone I know, recently…” – it’s never specific.  For some of you who blog publicly, I’m sure there are things you can’t write about.  It’s tough to be very open because you never know who is reading this (an employer?  an ex? a family member?). 

    Protected entries is something I thought about.  But I’m kinda old school.  When I stumbled on blogs ages ago, I was impressed by how open and sharing folks were.  I read a lot of thought provoking entries.  Usually these are very personal things that people write about.  There were some entries that I never thought people would post publicly.  When I started blogging, I thought perhaps one day if people stumble on my blog, they might find an entry or two that would be thought provoking.  Since then I never used the protected entry feature in Xanga.  It was my way of paying back to others. 

    I know these are just fleeting moments we have here.  Have a good weekend everyone. 

     

  • Looking Back and Looking Forward

    I haven’t been writing a lot recently and when I do, it seems to revolve around these subjects:

    1.  My dad and his health

    2.  My inability to get a good night’s sleep

    3.  Work / life balance or how 24 hours in a day is just not enough

    4.  “What I did today” stuff and venting

    5.  Misc food entries (you folks don’t get to see my errors or taste them – lucky you)

    While that’s alright there’s not a lot of variety here.  What I want to spend more time writing about is

    1.  Writing:  I want to develop and grow into a better writer.  This is probably one of the few things I really enjoy doing.  Even with the shrinking number of bloggers, it’s great that there are still some good writers here.  I started this writing blogring with Colin and unfortunately I’ve sort of stagnated.  Colin – to his credit has written some interesting stuff. 

    2.  Photography:  Some of you folks just have a wonderful eye and skill to capture light and images.  I sometimes wish I had a better camera or a better lens but I know that’s really not the answer.  I’m sort of like a point and shoot photographer.  When I review my pictures afterwards, I just go “aw … shoot.” 

    3.  Health (physical and mental):  it’s been sometime since I’ve worked out regularly.  I was watching a movie about aliens recently (Skyline – sorry, I can’t find anything good to say about this movie).  I think if I was abducted by some alien, they would look at me as “well marbled”. 

    Alien #1: This human is a keeper, he is like their wagyu beef.

    Alien #2:  Yes, we’ll have to feed him lots of beer and give him plenty of massages.

    Alien #1:  He is a remarkable specimen.  Maybe we should keep him as a breeder.

    Matt:  Excuse me aliens, but I don’t breed with the female species – they just don’t interest me.  Are you planning to abduct any hot guys?

    Alien #1:  He’s not that useful as a breeder.  Maybe we can just keep him around to amuse us.  He has a really odd sense of humour. 

    Well, maybe entries about getting fit aren’t that interesting.  But I do need to find a better balance in my life. 

    4.  More interesting observations about everyday challenges in life and lessons that I’ve failed to learn or am still learning.

    We’ll see how this progresses.

     

  • Quiet bloggers

    It is a bit disheartening seeing how quiet Xanga has become.  Yes, I know some folks have moved their blogs elsewhere or have simply stopped writing.  Others have hit a busy period in their lives.  I can certainly relate to being busy.  But I wasn’t expecting the decline in activity to be so startling.  Although I subscribe to almost 200 blogs, a lot of them are now dormant.  About 30 to 40 are regularly active and another 10 to 20 somewhat active.  I just did a quick check of the front pages (ok – I know Xanga is usually even more quiet on the weekends), but blogs that have 8 comments are now getting to the front pages. I can’t say this is good or bad.  I suppose it’s good because it gives exposure to others that don’t normally get exposure. 

    But sites need traffic in order to attract ad revenues. I hope financially Xanga will fine. I don’t know what else the average Xangan can do to generate more traffic aside from writing, commenting and recommending.  I thought this might be a good chance for other bloggers to be discovered.  But this is so diverse of a community that my favorites and recommendations won’t necessarily be your favorites & vice versa.

    Recently one of my dormant subscriptions, neo_plasm suddenly popped up after 2 years.  I never knew him but he always had something interesting to say and his comments were often insightful.  He wrote:

    “I wonder if anyone will ever study the early era of blogs in the pre-facebook era.  It was a short span of only a few years, but I think it was a distinct time (maybe 2002-2006).  People were pretty naive about what they put on the internet.  There was a lot of sharing, and it made for really interesting reading (well, sometimes).  In 2010, there’s more awareness of the drawbacks of putting so much of yourself out there, and also of the limited returns you get.  Hence, the graveyard of purged/abandoned blogs that I used to read.”

    I think he’s probably on to something.  Maybe people are a lot more conservative with what they write.  I used to read a lot more intimate details about people’s lives.  There was an air of innocence and trust (misplaced perhaps) back then.  That’s pretty well gone now.  You don’t want that stuff out there where your employers, family, friends and stalkers can find them. 

    So maybe we’re seeing a shift in attitudes?  What do you folks think?

     

  • A Bit of Pondering

    I think I’ve forgotten how to write.  I’ve been blogging sporadically these recent weeks.  Now I know why some how easy it is to let your blog become comatose.   It’s getting close to my bedtime.  It’s my nightly war with sleep.  No matter how tired I am, my brain just comes alive around this time.  It’ll take another hour or two before I can sleep.  My alarm will ring just before 6.  My body has somehow gotten used to this.  I try to sleep in a bit on the weekends.

    You know, I was just thinking about your blogs.  How representative is it of you?  We’re all complex creatures.  Does your blog capture who you are?  Or is it a tiny slice of who you really are?   If you met me, what do you think I’m like? 

  • Sunday Silly Sunday

    I had a dream a few weeks ago.  I was playing with a young boy, perhaps 5 or so.  His father was nearby.  The kid and I were just laughing and giggling away.  When it was time for the boy to leave, the dad said to me, “I read your blog, it’s interesting.”  (or words to that effect).  He caught me off guard.  I kept asking him how he knew of my blog and how he knew it was me.  He just stood there and smiled as if that was the silliest question he heard.  I stood there while they quickly walked away. 

    Now an acquaintance did mention to me once that he saw the pictures I took of the airshow on my blog.  That startled me.  I mean, how did he know?  But he said afterwards maybe they weren’t my pictures after all.   So we continued with the rest of the conversation as if nothing happened.  But that incident sort of startled me. 

    Now this is probably silly to many of you who don’t blog anonymously.  So from now on, I’m going to be wearing a disguise when I write.  That way, no one can find out who I really am.  I’ll have latex gloves on when I type my entries.  I know about digital fingerprints.  Oopps… I have my blinds open right now, I better lower them too just to be safe. 

    But seriously… I think I’m just being silly on this sunny Sunday morning. 

  • Writing Well

    It’s not easy to write. Hmm… it’s not easy to write well. I tell myself this is only a blog. I don’t have to adhere to any standards. I don’t have a style manual to follow. My only tools are a dictionary and a Thesaurus. I also glance at “The Elements of Style” by William Strunk every so often. I do try to proofread my entries before I submit it. But there are days when I’ll just quickly jot my thoughts down and submit it. You, my poor readers, will have wade through a lot of sloppy stuff to find the essence of my thoughts.

    It’s just a blog – isn’t it? It’s just an online journal and I’m just writing for myself. Style doesn’t count – it’s the act of writing that counts. My readers will understand that blogs don’t have to adhere to any standards.

    But I try to compose my thoughts carefully before I submit it. I believe I have a responsibility to write well. Writing is a craft and it’s not an easy craft to learn. I’ve learned to appreciate this in the past few years. Every so often, I wish there was a real Xanga editor who would review and critique my work. Perhaps my work will be returned with markups and constructive criticisms. Maybe this should be part of the perks if you are a Premium subscriber. I can just imagine the exchanges with my editor.

    “There are 62 blogs today about growing up Asian and gay. What makes yours more compelling to read?”
    “Matt, are you writing a novel or a blog? Go look up the word concise.”

    Perhaps my editor will be like the infamous Chef Gordon Ramsey of Hell’s Kitchen fame.
    “What the f*ck is this crap? Who the hell is going to read this?”
    “^$%&#*#!% if your blog was a meal, your readers will get food poisoning! Get the hell out of Xanga!”

    Ok – maybe not. I don’t think my fragile ego can handle that. I know there’s more to writing than good grammar.
    Word by word, sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph – I’ll eventually learn this craft.

  • Xanga – what’s your future?

    Are good bloggers still around?  Who do you like to read and is Xanga still a good place to find interesting, creative and intelligent writing?  Every so often, I read that blogging is on the wane.  What was once very popular turned out to be a fad for most people.  Maybe those that looked to Xanga as a social network site has gone to Facebook.  I’m sure there are many that have both but are spending more time at Facebook.  Others who consider themselves serious bloggers probably moved on to WordPress.   I’ve looked around there a bit.  The themes there seem to be more polished and professional looking. 

    How does Xanga fit in to this world?  I wonder if it’ll start to concentrate on only 1 demographic or will it try to be a bit of everything?  And if I move to WordPress, will you folks still follow me?  That’s probably one of the best things I’ve found here – the readers and the feeling of community.  I’m just not sure I’ll find it anywhere else.

    I still like Xanga.  I would hate to start over again at another site. I sometimes wonder what the average Xangan can do to drive more traffic to this site.  What can we do to help Xanga thrive?

    Ah… so many questions circling my head tonight.