Snippets: (noun) mini blog entries; what you write when you don’t have enough for a full blog entry; tidbits from a derange mind
1. I was driving to work on a quiet early morning and came across the first traffic light. It had just turned red and I slowed my car to a stop at the intersection. On the sidewalk to my right, there was a pigeon standing there at the corner. He looked like he wanted to cross the street. As the light turned green for the traffic going across from me, he walked into the intersection, crossing from my right to my left. He stayed on the pedestrian lane markings and safely made it across. It was one of the oddest things I’ve seen.
2. The drivers in my city never cease to amaze me with their stupidity. I was in the passing lane overtaking a few slow poke cars when I noticed a police car with lights flashing way back in my rear view mirror. I knew he wasn’t after me because I was only going 10 kph above the speed limit. But in order to move to the right, I had to overtake a few cars. So I gunned it, passed the cars and moved to the middle lane. The police car sped past me. I stayed in the middle lane. A couple of cars that were ahead of me on the left lane also quickly moved into the middle lane except for a family van. There wasn’t a shoulder on the van’s left – just a couple of feet before the cement barrier. So the driver decided to just stop his van. The police car slammed on his brakes and honked. The cars on the middle lane had to stop to let the police car into the middle lane so it could get around the van. I guess the driver either panicked or was confused. But it almost caused an easily avoidable accident. I easily overtook the van and continued. But in a further show of stupidity, that van eventually caught up with me and this time was easily doing 120kph to 130kph on the left lane.
3. One of my phobias is height. I’m deathly afraid of heights in an open area (e.g. a ski lift). I’m fine in an airplane and reasonably comfortable in the elevator on the CN Tower. I’m ok looking down from a building. But put me out in the open and I become a zombie. Neurons and synapses misfire. I don’t blink.
I might even start to growl. If you put me in a roller coaster, I won’t scream. I’ll just close my eyes and go “oh f……” during the entire ride (in a very high pitch voice).
4. There’s quite a few interesting folks here in Xanga. Sometimes I wish I could secretly spy on you folks to see what you do in a typical day. If you’re reading this entry, I just transmitted a virus to your computer. It’ll turn on your webcam (the light won’t come on) and I’ll be spying on you.
5. If it has wheels, I’ll want to race it. Shopping carts, lawn mowers, wheel chairs… bring it on! I’ll bite, snarl, pinch, spit, growl to get in front of you. Once in front, I’ll fart causing you to convulse and fall further behind. I fear no one. I’ve been banned from many supermarkets. The Chinese supermarkets are the toughest ones for me. The little old ladies don’t hesitate to run over my ankles from behind to get ahead. C’mon po po… that’s not fair.
Uhm… ok, that’s enough for now.
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