Snippets:  Stray thoughts that crossed my mind.  If I’m 16 yrs old, I would just call this a random post and it would be on tumblr.

1.  There’s a bird quietly singing and chirping near my window.  I can hear it in between the sounds of cars and streetcars.  It’s a touch of nature in my urban living environment.  I guess I should have chirped back because it flew away.

2.  My fat fingers continue to plague my texting.  I texted J “You’re gonna get sick again!”.  It came out as “You’re gonna get dick again!”  Sigh…

3.  I stumbled on a show called “Game of Arms” on AMC.  It’s about these oversized men in arm wrestling competitions.  None of these guys are my type but I was drawn to the show despite the testosterone, adrenaline and sweat seeping through my TV.  I don’t know why I kept watching. I think it’s the camaraderie, friendship and a brothers in arms attitude.  I need some of that.

4.  I had no idea there is bleach and fabric friendly bleach until recently.  This explains why a lot of my towels have started to fray.  Sigh…

5.  I write “sigh” a lot.  Sigh…

6.  I still don’t have Facebook.  But I think I’ll start a site called Buttbook.  You post a picture of your you know what.  If you like someone, you just click on the “kiss my …. ” button.

7.  Both my brother and sister are neat and tidy types.  Guess who isn’t a neat and tidy type?

8.  Saturday must have been Bob Marley day.  His greatest hits CD was playing at the local coffee shop during the morning.  As the night drew to a close, I heard another Bob Marley song while driving home.   If you were on the highway and saw some Chinese guy singing (screeching) reggae, that was me!

9.  I couldn’t figure out why there were so many people (50 to 75?) lined up outside a local record (vinyl) store on Saturday.  I thought they were lining up for concert ticket or some other type of promotion.   I found out it was “Record Store Day”.   It’s good that there’s still folks that like vinyl.

10.  I have to go to a wedding soon.  Someone from the extended family is getting married.  They are nice people but I’m not close to them.  I don’t really want to go but because it’s “family”, so I’m going.   I’ve already have my grumpy face on.

Snippets:  1.  (verb) the act of snipping a pet.  2.  (noun) What Matt writes about when he has nothing substantial to write about.

1.  The toilets at work automatically flush when you leave the stall.  There used to be one that was so sensitive that as soon as you lift your ass, it would flush.  Thankfully they’ve fixed that problem.  I never have any problems with them until the other day.  After I did my thing and opened the door to leave, I heard the toilet flush.  As I was washing my hands like a good little boy, it flushed again.  There wasn’t anyone else in the washroom and I knew that was my stall.  When I finished washing my hands, it flushed again – this time a long flush.  I shook my head.  I didn’t leave a stinky load behind… just a normal one.  It wasn’t even a 2 flusher. 

2.  Fetish alert … I didn’t know this but after taking my dad to hospitals so many times, I have to say that any Asian guy who wears those hospital surgical scrubs are just hot.  If I saw the same guy in a suit and tie I won’t even look.  But once he gets into a surgical scrub (hospital green, blue, brown – any colour will do), he’ll catch my attention.  I have absolutely no idea why. I just want to play doctor with the doctor.  I know, they aren’t all doctors.  I think I need a cold shower with liquid nitrogen.

3.  I use these terms a lot: “Oh gosh” “Oh my”  “Good grief” “Golly” “Oh my goodness” It’s an attempt to cultivate an innocent, naive image when of course I’m anything but that.  “Oh gosh, they have Japanese porn?”  I can be mean, grouchy, vindictive and grumpy.  So don’t get on my bad side.  I mean it. 

4.  I left work early the other day so I could get home and squeeze in some chores while I worked from home.  The fire alarm rang.  It’s one of those annoying high pitched buzzing.  Even if you were deaf, you could hear the alarm.  I left my condo and watched the fire trucks rolled up.  We were outside for a good 45 minutes.  I got to meet other residents of the condo.  But I lost my productivity.  I got to work a bit later than I wanted today.  As I was heads down writing up some reports, the fire alarm rang.  #^@#%^@%  On my way out, I ducked into the washroom.  The urinals were right under the alarm. I never peed so fast in my life.  I think if I was there another minute my ear drums would have bled.  But it was another 25 minutes wasted today.  Thankfully it was just a false alarm.  

5. In the past couple of days, I have this craving for milk.  I usually drink soy milk.  But I wanted cow’s milk instead.  There’s nothing like a cold, glass of milk that leaves a creamy, satisfying fullness in your mouth.  I want to bring a cow home to my condo so I can have fresh milk.  But the poor cow will have to live in the walk in fridge cuz I like my milk cold. 

Snippets:  (noun) mini blog entries; what you write when you don’t have enough for a full blog entry; tidbits from a derange mind 

1.  I was driving to work on a quiet early morning and came across the first traffic light.  It had just turned red and I slowed my car to a stop at the intersection.  On the sidewalk to my right, there was a pigeon standing there at the corner.   He looked like he wanted to cross the street.  As the light turned green for the traffic going across from me, he walked into the intersection, crossing from my right to my left.  He stayed on the pedestrian lane markings and safely made it across.  It was one of the oddest things I’ve seen. 

2.  The drivers in my city never cease to amaze me with their stupidity.  I was in the passing lane overtaking a few slow poke cars when I noticed a police car with lights flashing way back in my rear view mirror.  I knew he wasn’t after me because I was only going 10 kph above the speed limit.  But in order to move to the right, I had to overtake a few cars.  So I gunned it, passed the cars and moved to the middle lane.  The police car sped past me.  I stayed in the middle lane.   A couple of cars that were ahead of me on the left lane also quickly moved into the middle lane except for a family van.  There wasn’t a shoulder on the van’s left – just a couple of feet before the cement barrier.  So the driver decided to just stop his van.  The police car slammed on his brakes and honked.  The cars on the middle lane had to stop to let the police car into the middle lane so it could get around the van.  I guess the driver either panicked or was confused.  But it almost caused an easily avoidable accident.  I easily overtook the van and continued.  But in a further show of stupidity, that van eventually caught up with me and this time was easily doing 120kph to 130kph on the left lane. 

3.  One of my phobias is height.  I’m deathly afraid of heights in an open area (e.g. a ski lift).  I’m fine in an airplane and reasonably comfortable in the elevator on the CN Tower.  I’m ok looking down from a building.  But put me out in the open and I become a zombie.  Neurons and synapses misfire.  I don’t blink. 
I might even start to growl.  If you put me in a roller coaster, I won’t scream.  I’ll just close my eyes and go “oh f……” during the entire ride (in a very high pitch voice). 

4.  There’s quite a few interesting folks here in Xanga.  Sometimes I wish I could secretly spy on you folks to see what you do in a typical day.  If you’re reading this entry, I just transmitted a virus to your computer.  It’ll turn on your webcam (the light won’t come on) and I’ll be spying on you.  

5.  If it has wheels, I’ll want to race it.  Shopping carts, lawn mowers, wheel chairs… bring it on!  I’ll bite, snarl, pinch, spit, growl to get in front of you.  Once in front, I’ll fart causing you to convulse and fall further behind.  I fear no one.  I’ve been banned from many supermarkets.  The Chinese supermarkets are the toughest ones for me.  The little old ladies don’t hesitate to run over my ankles from behind to get ahead.  C’mon po po… that’s not fair. 

Uhm… ok, that’s enough for now.