August 21, 2008

  • Another day with dad

    I accompanied my dad to a doctor’s appt the other day.  I’m never comfortable in a hospital.  If you see me in a hospital, I usually have
    this stern look to hide my discomfort.  One
    thing I’ve noticed about my dad lately is his lack of patience and an anger
    that seems to lurk just beneath the surface. 
     He was complaining about the lack
    of professional attire with a lot of the medical staff.  “They don’t know how to dress.  Look at that, someone should tell them how to
    look more professional.”  He wears a shirt
    and tie to see his doctor so that’ll give you an idea what he’s expecting.  I try to tell him that most doctors like to
    keep it informal to help their patients relax and feel comfortable.   

    There was also a small child running around in the waiting room.  His mom eventually got tired of chasing after
    him and put him back in his carriage. 
    This starts off a round of whining and whimpering.  I figured my dad, who is already hard of
    hearing, wouldn’t really notice.  But he
    leans over and whispers  “Every where I
    go, I always end up near a screamer.  The
    parents just don’t know how to control their kids.”  I shrug. 
    Within minutes, two more baby carriages come into the waiting area.  My dad cringes while I try to take a peek at
    the babies.   I whispered back "If you keep complaining, you're gonna end up working in a daycare centre in your next life."  He sort of glared at me but kept quiet after that. 

    Dad doesn’t like it when any of us accompany him to doctor’s
    appointments.  He knows it’s a pain
    getting away from work.  But we tell him
    that work is flexible about it so don't worry about it.  It's amazing how the same white
    lies handed down generations.  I'm sure he can see right through it.  I’ve often wrote about the role
    reversal.  Neither of us is comfortable with
    it but we are slowly getting used to it. He values his independence and more importantly his dignity.  I have to keep reminding myself about this. 

Comments (20)

  • your posts about your dad remind me of this site.

    you oughta check it out.  i found it to be as touching and poignant as your posts about your dad.

  • @cheekyricegirl - I saw that site too.  I agree it's very touching.  Thanks for the compliment. 

  • Last time when I visited the hospital, was with my dad too....I had the same uneasy feeling, very well said, Matt.

  • so nice of you to go to the doctors with your dad. i don't really like hospitals, it takes too long here. we usually just go to the doctors office, since most of them have their own private practice

  • props for you being a good son =)

  • I fear your Dad is begins to remind me of myself!! I think it was Milton who wrote: "The child is father to the man."  I want to join in saying you are a good son.

  • Very nice of you to go wit your dad.  I'm sure he really appreciates it.  I like you're response to him about his next life.  I can somehow picture the look on his face. :)

  • oops...  i'm one of those people your dad would glare at.  i work in a hospital, and i usually wear t-shirts and jeans...  but when i see patients i wear a golf shirt to look a bit more professional!  hahaha  i'm sure i'm forgiven though, i'm just a lowly grad student... =D

    it's great that you take the time to take your dad to the hospital.  i'm sure he appreciates it even if he doesn't want to admit it.

  • You are a good son Matt. You lie to him so effectively, you reprimand him about not whining around little kids, telling him that he will end up in a day care center in his next life, but above all caring about his dignity. Could all sons be  like you? God Willing. 

  • "Working in a day care center in your next life" - Oh, I'm glad you can still find the humor in these situations.

    As the cycle of life continues and your roles reverse, I'm sure you will continue to treat your father with dignity.  The white lies are there as a social lubricant and are another way to say "I love you" to him.

  • ah....i remember being a little kid and accompanying my mom and grandfather/grandmother to the hospital.

  • my god

    what if he WAS a daycare center worker in his next life

    thatd be horrible

    but i hate hospitals

    =(

    and i think little white lies are good... he probably sees through them, but he knows its for the better

    ...my whore moans are perfectly normal :]

    nothing has happened yet with that professor

    and if they did, i probably wont pursue them

    unless you told me it was okay

    ;]

    jk

  • @curry69curry - thanks... I guess I've seen my share of bad times in hospitals.

    @icebladz - my own doctor has an office and the wait there is crazy too.

    @zozoyork - thanks... we all take turns doing this.

    @Fatcat723 - well, it's not just me Rob, my bro and sis also helps out; thanks.  For some reason, I always feel uncomfortable when someone says I'm a good son. 

    @brooklyn2028 - yeah, all dads have that look.

    @kunhuo42 - hahaha... you also see patients?  Wow...

    @ZSA_MD - my brother and sister also help out... I'm not sure I'm a role model.  But thank you for the compliment.

    @christao408 - humor has served me well.  But I have to use it carefully.

    @Love_Eternal_Desire - hospitals are good for people watching but you won't catch me staying there longer than I need to.

  • @ElusiveWords - Maybe you have the same problem as I do - I refuse to accept compliments

  • ryc : Thanks, i need to grow up and start living like a 30 y.o., I no longer 20 something.

    Well a day with your dad is a memory to remember him.

  • @vsan79 - take it easy V.  

  • You are a great son!   My mom wants to be independant also, although she is up in ages.  Taking care of elder parent is never easy. 

  • I think role reversal is hard on both parties. Dads never want to feel like our children, but they will appreciate the tender loving care we show towards them.

  • @stevew918 - I see we're both in similar situations although you have the challenge of distance.

    @Blizzardi - yeah, I agree with you. 

  • independence and dignity.... hhmm... i'll try to keep them in mind the next time i got tired of my dad's complaints.

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