August 12, 2009
-
Let me pick that up for you
I was on my way to the supermarket and running a bit late. On the way there, I encountered some road construction and a tailgater. By the time I pulled into the parking lot, I wasn't in a great mood. As I was parking, I noticed the tailgater had also pulled in ahead of me. I went to get a cart but didn't have exact change to unlatch it. I went to the front desk and no one was there. An elderly Chinese man was bagging groceries noticed me. He pointed me to another cashier. I went over there and waited until she was finished with a customer. But she ignored me and went on to help the next customer.
It just wasn't my day. I went to get a basket instead. As I was walked to the aisles, someone said something to me in Mandarin (this is a Chinese supermarket). It was the elderly worker. It took awhile for me to translate what he said. He just wanted to know if I still wanted some change. I said no thanks and went on my way. It didn't take me long to get all my groceries. I rushed to the cashier and avoided the one who ignored me.
There was an elderly lady in front of me and I waited while the cashier quickly scanned her groceries. As the elderly lady reached for her money, some change fell loose and scattered on the floor. The cashier looked up from bagging the groceries. The elderly lady looked at the coins and said "Don't worry about it, it's not that much." I glanced down and saw quite a few pennies. I squatted down and picked up 18 cents in loose change. As I stood up to give the money for her, I noticed the cashier had just finish placing the bags on the lady's cart. The lady thanked both of us and went on her way.
After I paid for my groceries, I quickly walked to my car. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I noticed I was a lot more relaxed and calm. The anger had dissipated. I didn't think it was from picking up the loose change. But the next time I'm stressed, I'm gonna look for that elderly woman again. Maybe she'll drop some more coins. If I see someone all stressed out, maybe I'll drop a bunch of pennies to return the favor.
Comments (23)
Your experience could really be unique to yourself. You cannot be sure if you drop a bunch of pennies that person whom you sensed as stress out would not be all the more stressed. Anyway, I congratulate you for being able to contain your anger.
Doing good for others is a good way of getting back at the world for being yucky. You feel good, and anger can't hold a candle to that.
Either that, or counting the coins was a way for you to count to ten and let the anger inside you dissipate. Very zen!
@Norcani - hahaha - I can imagine the reaction of others when I drop a bunch of coins in front of them.
@dynamiqvision - interesting point - maybe I should simply count money and see if that works.
That's just cool Mattie. I think you were relaxed because you helped that lady and that made you feel good. Yup, I agree, very Zen!!
that's very kind of you; even though you were in a bad mood you still took time to help someone else. the world needs more people like you!
Paying it forward is always a great thing to do
When you are angry, your focus is on yourself.
The world got smaller and your vision tunneled.
When you lend a hand out to others,
your eyes are on someone else in need.
The world got larger and you shed light into the darkness.
Bless you for your kindness
and insight ^^
LoL, Stimulus and Respond. In between that two there is gap for you to make decision how you going to react to the situation.
Everyone has already given great analogies; I shall pass. Glad you weren't stress anymore after that.
That's very interesting. How did the old lady help you lessen your anger?
yes....after u've offered your help to others it could release ur stress in some ways.....as others have said it's very Zen.
I've always been ignored by the cashier at the chinese grocery stores even just waiting for my changes from their machines...they just Facing the machines, make the correct changes and hand over to me without moving their head but they will release their fingers just in time my hand is placed right underneath.....
@ZSA_MD - you're probably right, it's the act of helping as trivial as it seemed, that probably helped ease the tension and anger.
@kunhuo42 - you're too kind Aaron
@Roadlesstaken - I agree.
@ZenPaper - that's an interesting observation although I know I wasn't thinking like that when I helped her. I guess it was just years of conditioning to help.
@vsan79 - it could be but I think I was too lost in my own thoughts to even think about it.
@Dezinerdreams - well, I too shall leave it to others who are more knowledgeable in these matters. I'm just happy the anger went away.
@mmmagination - I guess Zenpaper best captured the reason. And who knows, maybe it's the act of helping that makes our own problems so trivial.
@agmhkg - maybe you should start singing while waiting for your change. They should notice you.
I learned to count to 10 to ease my anger so I would not explode. It seemed it took you counting to 18? lol just kidding you. Indeed after helping someone is a good therapy for me too when I get stressed or angry. By the way sometimes eating a small snack helps me too.
I think sometimes small actions like that have the ability to jar us out of bad moods because it gets you to stop fixating on your bad mood for just a second. That second often seems to dissipate any bad feelings you had before
"Just trying to give you a lil distraction.. feel better?" - Wanda Sykes
When I get angry, I let it out. ASAP. Yell about something real quick and you'll feel better.. or at least tired.
I guess by bending down and picking up the coins one by one, you have diverted your anger into something else, and of course interacting with the elderly lady sure helped.
I feel that we can change our attitude and mood when we focus on helping someone. It takes our mind away from our problems as we reach out to help others. I agree with Aaron, the world could use more people like you.
next time someone's angry, drop gum balls or jawbreakers
Oh, I have to disagree, Matt. I think it was the picking up the coins that changed things for you. When we do something selflessly for others, we shut off our anger, resentment, frustration, etc. and just give. That's why all the major religions and countless philosophers and wise souls tell us to give to others and all the other concerns will sort themselves out.
@ZenPaper - agreed completely...well said mate.
You are a sweet man
@stevew918 - lol... there was a nickel in there too. Oh gee, snacking will kill me.
@TheCheshireGrins - I think you're right.
@upandoutward - hahaha - I usually try to stay civil but sometimes I do let out a few words of frustration.
@curry69curry - true - and besides, there's no way I can transfer my anger to that innocent, sweet lady.
@Fatcat723 - thank you but what I did was simply a small modest gesture. I guess if I volunteer, I would probably get angry less.
@alchemystfury - hahahaha - they'll probably just glare at me.
@christao408 - I'm gonna look for more coins to pick up... hee hee. I wasn't thinking about that when I picked up those loose change. It's interesting how such a simple act can defuse anger.
@Wangium - awww... *blush*
Anything you say looks like proper this is what I assume
juniors clothes | signature stamp | Chinese restaurant menu
Comments are closed.