October 11, 2009
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The Dinner was Delicious but...
Thanksgiving dinner was at my brother's place with many of his extended family (his wife's family and their friends). They are nice people and down to earth. But I don't really have a close relationship with any of them. There was a very cute baby there with big, blue eyes and just a delightful chuckle. You know how I am with babies - I just melt. But for some reasons, I just couldn't connect with this one. It was just a baby. Most of the conversation was just the usual small talk. The food was very good. My brother and his wife always do a good job roasting the turkey and it's never dry. I think the turkey was about 25 lbs and very tasty. Everybody brought some side dishes for dinner. I purchased a couple of cakes from a local bakery.
After dinner, someone announced that they were expecting their first child. Everyone was jumping up and down, clapping and cheering. I smiled politely. In a couple of hours, I won't remember much about the dinner or the announcement. I just have no connection to any of them. I guess it's different for my brother. They are all part of his family and extended family.
I guess I'm just not feeling the thanksgiving spirit or in a family kinda mood. I just feel so pulled in many different directions sometimes. There's never enough time in the day to look after all the important people in my life.
Comments (34)
Thanksgiving never been a big holiday with my family. We usually just all go our separate ways and eat at friends houses.
I'm sorry to hear you didn't enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner. I'm quite surprised actually since your family entries are normally more upbeat. Take some rest for yourself. We can't always be in a chipper mood. *hugs*
Happy Thanksgiving...forgot Canada has it earlier than us....and hugs Matt...sorry youre feeling disconnected.
@Roadlesstaken - Alex, it's uncanny, you commented within 5 mins of my posting.
@brooklyn2028 - Thanks Sheldon, I'll try and get some rest tonight. You know what's odd? I feel more connected to most of the gang at Xanga than I do to my brother's extended family. I know that sounds horrible. Maybe it's just my mood at this time. At least the food was very good.
@macphoto - thanks... I hope this feeling will go away soon.
@ElusiveWords - Actually that's not that strange to me. I really do consider you all on Xanga to be my online family and I've gotten attached to you and a few of the others!!
@ElusiveWords - Like I said before, you tend to update right when I'm about to log off Xanga and head to bed. Good timing.
@ElusiveWords - That's not so odd, Matt. I think lots of us feel that way. There are a lot of friends and family members that I don't hear from very frequently. The friends on Xanga are people I communicate with on a regular basis, they share details about their experiences, thoughts and feelings, and comment on mine. It is normal to feel more of a connection with the people you interact with regularly. I'm glad the dinner was tasty, though. To have to hang out with people with whom you don't feel much connection and suffer through a bad dinner would have been a shame!
@brooklyn2028 - @christao408 - Chris, Sheldon - you guys are right. Now that I think about it, it's really not that strange. I have a lot more in common with you folks than my brother's extended family. Although I don't see you, I am in contact with both of you and others a lot more than with them. Chris - lol, you're right, the night would have been a lot worse if the food was bad.
Matt, hope you feel better soon! I feel closer to Xanga friends than my brothers also. you know more about me than my brothers, hehe.
@ElusiveWords - @brooklyn2028 - And I think I can safely speak for Sheldon in saying that were you to come to either of our houses for Thanksgiving, we'd be sure to give you a turkey that was even more well-basted than that of your brother's in-laws. LOL
@ElusiveWords - @christao408 - Here here!! I hope the three of us could enjoy a meal together one day!!
@stevew918 - thanks Steve, I feel better now after writing this entry and reading the comments. I didn't know you have brothers (I might have forgotten if you had written about this before... sorry).
@brooklyn2028 - @christao408 - hahaha... I would be absolutely devastated and horrified if I can't get a good meal from both of you.
Yeah, when the group are all talking about expecting babies and this and that... it is natural to feel left out! Lucky for me I can talk about my two nieces as an uncle but it is not the same.
Straight couples dinner is awkward for me these days.
@ElusiveWords - Its pretty normal Matt. I am heading to India on Sunday. A HUGE reason is I just went through that...seriously missing "family and friends" I have never met face2face. I couldn't stand it any more...seriously needed to connect with those people in real life because they are the friends I have the most in common with. When the chance to shoot the wedding came up, I took it.
That's exactly how I feel when I go out with my boyfriend's group of friends, not being able to connect on the same level, especially when they have little inside conversations.
I like hanging around with friends as long as I do actually know and will talk and see from time to time, frankly I find it more difficult to make new friends thru gatherings, but on the net...people are more shy and talk less nowadays. I don't know, but I usually wont' find myself left out on occasions maybe I'm too talkative?
My family is small but my sister does invite all her friends to the dinner. I am totally out of the loop there. I enjoy the food which is always delicious but then make my exist as soon as I am not the first to leave.
Hey at least the dinner was delish right?
@ZenPaper - I guess it wasn't too bad after all. At least I don't hate them.
@macphoto - you're right! Now I know a bit more about your upcoming trip and it makes so much sense.
@Rm2046 - at least the conversation, even the small talk was pleasant and the dinner was very delicious. I get in these mood sometimes.
@agmhkg - you must be popular with your friends, it never hurts to be the one initiating the conversation to get the ball rolling.
@Fatcat723 - as soon as dad finished his dessert, he waited for a bit and gave me the look that it was time to leave. So we were the first to leave. I get into these solitary moods from time to time. I blame / credit my dad.
@yang1815 - it was, my brother and his wife really know how to cook a turkey and not make it so dry. We had squash, potato casserole, red cabbage, a pork roast (very tender), roasted carrots, green beans, pumpkin pie, 2 cakes, butter tarts - it was just amazing.
@ElusiveWords - where are the food pics?!
@yang1815 - lol... I haven't ordered my laptop yet, got to pay off a few bills first.
@ElusiveWords - !!! I'll be waiting!
Eh, no one can be in a good mood all the time.
I used to go to these dinners at my aunt's house, where she had her extended family over. I do feel just what you had experienced at such larger groups. Anyways, the things that count most are: good food, and everyone else in the family is happy!
@TheCheshireGrins - yeah, that's true. Well - except for Santa.
@CurryPuffy - but what about my happiness?
yeah, I can't be too worried about my needs all the time. Anyways, I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this.
Thanksgiving has changed in big ways for me over the years.
Losing certain family members has only shifted it further from
what it was as a young adult. Like it or not, time is change though, right?
Posts like this makes me long for "home"
Peace
*~matthew~*
@bleuzeus - well, I too long for the simple times of the past. But we both know that can't happen. I think we just have to create special memories going forward.
I know this feeling. All my family is married now, with children, except for me. I feel so disconnected, not only for that reason; but maybe because I've become so jaded and cynical as of late. I'm worried about Thanksgiving and Christmas this year; and hope that I an survive them.
@chow@ireallylikefood - I think most people are stronger and resilient than they realize. Why do you feel you've become so jaded and cynical lately? Was it an incident or a combination of things?
@ElusiveWords - Oh, it's just been building over the years. Every year it seems worse. I'm afraid of how much longer I can go like this, to be honest. =/
@chow@ireallylikefood - oh gee... maybe you need to find a way to vent those feelings out (physical, meditating to writing?). Sometimes counseling will help too.
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