October 12, 2009
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Memories of Thanksgiving
When my family emigrated to Canada, we didn't have turkey for Thanksgiving until a few years afterwards. My mom always viewed the bird with suspicion. Instead she went all out on Chinese dishes with usually with a roast duck as the centre piece. Now keep in mind back then, roast duck was a bit of a luxury. We only had those on special occasions.
We also had lamb and I couldn't believe how delicious it was. She just used garlic, oil, salt, pepper and some soy sauce. I think she sprinkled other spices such as oregano on it too. But it was simple and incredibly delicious. What I remember most was how comforting the meals were. It was just the 5 of us, since we didn't know any other relatives in the city. The house would be filled with the smell of food. Mom would be busy in the kitchen. The wok would be searing and you could hear the spatula clinging and scraping against it. One by one, the dishes would be brought out. The soups would be simmering for most of the day to get the most flavor out from the bones and meat.
One year, we had a roast goose for dinner. My dad joked that he got it from the park. Mom would give shush him and tell us he was just joking. We did finally have a turkey. Mom would check out all her recipe books to figure out how to cook it. She settled on a stuffing made with chestnuts. Dad would be the one peeling them. She was always wary of the bird because it could get dry very easily. We only had frozen turkey not fresh. I don't think anyone brined turkeys back then. She would be busy basting that bird all evening. I don't think it was her favorite though. The amount of leftovers horrified her. We had turkey pie, soups... but there's only so much she could do with that turkey.
Ultimately it wasn't just the food that I remember. It was the feeling of togetherness, a feeling of us against the world. At home, we would be safe and secure. The bill collectors who hounded us on late payments won't bother us on these special occasions. On those rare times when we eat together now at my dad's place, I can still remember all those old dinners and that special feeling of togetherness. We all had our designated chairs. Mom's was closest to the kitchen.
The kitchen at my dad's house is very quiet now. The wok is still there. A lot of the things my mom used to cook with are still there - including some ancient pots and pans we brought over with us. The cupboards are still filled with the same dishes we used. I hope that feeling of togetherness will continue. Sometimes the stresses in life can drive so many wedges in family relationships.
Comments (33)
Ummm...the imagery is very vivid. It's funny, lately all I have in my head are the Christmas lights on the house and a family gathering near the fireplace sitting on the dining table sharing a Christmas meal.
Not that I had that experience, but what you wrote is pretty much how I pictured it.
When you mentioned the clinging and clanging of the spatula against the wok, I could hear that sound in my voice so I have to agree with Jason that it's a very vivid post! Happy Thanksgiving Matt!
And let us hope that those times of togetherness and warm memories can be the salve the heals the wedges and cracks in family relationships.
There's a reason why those special occasions become vary significant memories. In my childhood it was Christmas but Thanksgiving can be celebrated by anyone. I also think that the smaller the group, the closer the bonds and there's less chance for drama.
It will continue.
Well, that sounds like the 'Chinese' Thanksgiving I had at my aunt's house. They even prepared a special kind of Chinese rice. Nevertheless, what that count was sharing a family moment with your loved ones.
I actually agree with your mom, the turkey is so huge and easy to get dry. Chinese Thanksgiving is the best
:p ha ha ha
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving =)
finally some down time... ahh.
Sorry to hear about the loss of "togetherness".
Still have the memories to hold on too.
And be thankful for on Thanksgiving.
mate.
Hope you enjoyed your down time. I seem to remember our Thanksgiving meals evolving too. The final was pheasant which my brother-in-law shot on legal hunting trip.
It's interesting how holidays evolve. When I was younger, my entire family (grandparents and all) used to come out to our house for Christmas. Slowly over the years, our holidays have seemingly gotten smaller. Those changes are kind of sad to me.
My father recently got engaged, and as much as I like the new lady, it's sad and scary to think about the way my family has changed so much over the last few years...
@Wangium - @brooklyn2028 - Jason, Sheldon - glad you liked the imagery. I didn't really do any editing, it just sort of rolled out of my memory banks. As I was writing, my fingers couldn't really keep up with the images. Some of the dinners I think were other holidays but they all merged together. The sound of the wok coming alive is something I always enjoy listening to.
@christao408 - I hope that feeling of togetherness will continue for decades. It can be tough sometimes.
@TheLatinObserver - well - just as much drama sometimes with the smaller group. I think it's old unresolved issues, problems, wounds... sometimes the time together brings them all out again.
@yang1815 - thanks, I hope so too.
@CurryPuffy - is that the sticky rice? (gee... just realized that term), you know what I mean, noh mai fan?
@vsan79 - it's good that my brother and his wife know how to keep it moist. But yeah, I've had a few dried turkeys before. Chinese Thanksgiving is better. hahaha...
@pureboy123 - I am thankful for all the memories. I'm glad you have some down time now.
@Fatcat723 - I've never had pheasant before. It must be a bit gamey?
@TheCheshireGrins - yeah, I think as a kid when you have no pressures and there's a large gather, it can be loads of fun with all the relatives. As we grow up - we have to create our own fun and memories.
@secade - there will be a lot of changes for you I'm sure. But over time, you'll be able to develop a good relationship with her. Maybe the relationship with your dad will also change. Don't be scared of the changes.
Yes, that's right Mattie, noh mai fan....*yummy*
@CurryPuffy - ohh... yummy. She made those too, with chicken, chinese sausage, mushrooms, mmmm.... if you have a recipe, pls send it over.
The is very beautiful. My family is super traditional about Thanksgiving. We go ALL out and then some. The full American meal plus some extra asian dishes. I absolutely love the feeling of togetherness you're talking about. But as the years go on... things change, people pass away. What I wouldn't give to get those previous years back..
roast lamb is not bad but i'll choose roast duck or roast pork over roast turkey ANY DAY!!
matt, i am close to tearing up here. it is clear that you love your mother. it's unfortunate that your family were hounded because of your bills... i can really see the similarities with my family. i just don't understand why my parents have worked so hard for us. our parents really did try for us, didn't they matt?
@youngvan - the full American meal plus extra Asian dishes? Wow - you folks must have used several tables! Yeah, it would be nice to relive those old meals again but with my perspective today.
@rudyhou - when properly cooked and seasoned, the turkey is actually pretty good. But there's a lot of it.
@stepaside_loser - they did. My dad had a very good job in his homeland. But when he came over here, it was very difficult for him to find something equivalent. So the jobs he go were not the best paying jobs. When you have 3 kids, mortgage and a car - somtimes a lot of bills don't get paid on time. My parents gave us everything.
@ElusiveWords - absolutely true. same with my parents. they didn't have great jobs in china, but when they came here they were at the bottom. they worked harder than anyone i know, and they did everything for us. it's just unbelievable how much they care.
Hm... this kinda feeling is reserved to Mid-Autumn Festival to my family...
Thanksgiving is too "western" to us.. =P
@ZenPaper - We always had the mooncakes but when everyone was working or in school, we usually celebrated it on weekends.
there's one thing i have yet to try back when i was living in the states... southern fried turkey. have you tried it? a lot of people raved about it.
Duck is nice! I think it's better tasting than turkey, hehe.
To this day, unless I'm hosting Thanksgiving, we still don't have a Turkey. I find this very odd, but my family just doesn't like to do that. Instead, like yours, we have all sorts of Chinese dishes, including a particular Sticky-Rice Duck that I really enjoy. I don't know, growing up with Thanksgiving like that, when I have a "Regular" Thanksgiving, it doesn't seem quite right. Strange how that is.
@chow@ireallylikefood - no, it's not strange at all. I think if that's what you grew up with, those memories are very powerful and become part of your fabric so to speak. So if you had some amazing sashimi or steak for Thanksgiving, it just seems out of kilter. Maybe it's the food (taste, sight, smell) that also serves to reinforce the memories of family.
my mom also made duck stuffed with sticky rice. The rice soaked up all the juices (and I guess fat). It was just amazingly delicious and you feel so full after eating it. She would also debone the duck as well so it was easier to "carve".
@rudyhou - I have yet to try that. I know a colleague who made it and he said it tasted just fine.
@mmmagination - the only thing I don't like about duck is the fattiness of it.
I recall coming in our home from playing on a cold Thanksgiving day and my glasses fogged with the instant heat inside. The smells from the cooking turkery and trimmings would greet me like an old friend.
Mom would be busy in the kitchen and every half an hour or so, Dad would be
pecking around, picking at half finished dishes. "How long until we eat?"
She would fan him out of her way and get right back to it. It seemed like a grand
feast to me, but in reality it probably was very modest as we had very little to
spend on extravagant food.
Sorry, my own mind started to wander..... my fond memories.
I tend to think more about the smiles and laughter at the table. The year
my sister and brother in law had a whip cream fight. Good times.. good times.
Thank you again for sparking those thoughts. It does make me smile.
*~matthew~*
@ElusiveWords - Yes, this is the dish I'm talking about
I wasn't aware that other people had it too -- everyone I've mentioned it to doesn't know what I'm talking about. I have yet to figure out how to make this dish. I can't imagine it would be that difficult, and I know all the basic techniques involved... maybe I'll try it this year. If it works, I may end up posting it.
@bleuzeus - thanks for sharing those memories - they are very special. I can practically see your house. I remember my mom shooing my dad out of the kitchen too!
@chow@ireallylikefood - oh wow! I hope you'll make it. I've never cooked with duck or sticky rice before. I remember she had dried shrimps, mushrooms and maybe even those Chinese sausages. I'm trying to remember if she also had dried scallops too.
@ElusiveWords - Ohhh nod... I cook with Duck and Sticky Rice. Actually, your recipe is pretty dead on. All those ingredients are in it, including the dried scallops
I think I can make everything individually, I just have to figure out now how to do it all together. I think that's the kind of thing that would be nice for you to know how to make, since that's kind of a thing you guys have for Thanksgiving too, yes? 
@chow@ireallylikefood - yep. She deboned the duck as well, I have absolutely no idea how to do that. I know it took a long time though. She had to "sew" everything back up afterwards when she cooked it. This was one of the most complicated dish she made. When her arthritis started to get worse, she stopped making it.
Heck, I would be satisfied making the sticky rice as a standalone dish. It's great on those cold winter nights.
Oh, sure -- the Sticky Rice is actually on my list of dishes to produce
I usually have most of the ingredients on hand for it. It's pretty easy to make, actually.
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