November 12, 2009
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Gross, annoying and scary
I don't know what to write. My mind is just going off into so many different places and it's hard to concentrate. I think my mind is like this when I'm mentally tired. I can't focus or think clearly. Even simple word puzzles feel like a complex calculus problem.
You know what I saw the other day that just grossed me out? I had to use the toilet at work. When I opened the door to one of the toilets, I saw someone's butt imprint on the black toilet seat. I've never seen anything like this. I recoiled in horror wondering if his butt cheeks were sweaty or wet. I just slammed the door and ducked into another cubicle. I'm going to have to get the folks from CSI to find out who the culprit was. After that, I'm gonna smash that toilet seat over his head.
You know what also bugs me? I take the highway to work and it's a winding, curvy highway that is interesting to drive when there's no traffic. I'm absolutely appalled how many people can't stay in their lanes on a curvy road. People just drift all over the place. They either take the turn too wide or cut it too short. I always have to watch the cars beside me when I head into a curve.
You know what scared me the other day? My new work laptop has a camera. I turned it on and saw how I looked like. Man... I have to start taking better care of myself. I just looked awful and very old. I actually didn't recognize myself. After that incident, I lost interest in any attempts at being introspective, examining my inner self, or taking stock of my accomplishment type of activities.
It's bedtime anyways. I just want to sleep. Anyone interested in reading a bedtime story to me?
Comments (24)
I'm not sure if there's such a thing as a 'sweaty' butt; but pretty sure there's a thing as 'HAIRY' butt! LOL
I feel you on people straying off of their lane when the road curves just a bit. Haha and thankfully I never use public toilets so I never will experience such horrors
that was GROSS. ew. i thought people used a heap of toilet paper on the seats if they really had to go?
i feel ya on the being surprised you look old or ugly. don't think you are ugly just because that day you didn't like what you saw. you sound like you've been working really hard, and that affects your skin.
Butt print?! EWWWWWW! That's just super gross.
Too gross - butt mark!!! I find that people tend to forget what lane they are in because of the cell phone next to their ear!!!
Well, maybe a little story about three bears lol.
That is pretty gross. I had a similar incident this week except it was that the person did their business on the toilet seat and did't clean it. So disgusting. I got into the habit of using the hand sanitizer on the toilet seats now at work!
yuck! i hate using public toilets, and will only do so under duress.
hmm... i guess it's a good thing i haven't looked in the mirror much lately, i'd probably look very worn out and tired as well. luckily the weekend's just around the corner! you should be sure to take a little bit of a break from work this weekend.
Butt prints??? Eek. I know they're probably on all toilets in some form but I don't want to see them. I help the CSI guys help you out
Butt print = awkward
I used to take any way EXCEPT the highway to work. I don't wanna deal with that. I wanna relax.. I want to relax so much, in fact, that I now take the bus
Might I suggest reading "Where the Wild Things Are"?
lol nice butt imprints
There's nothing more annoying at work than having to deal with filthy toilets. I'm glad my current office is mostly female so they are the ones who complain about their restroom while the men's stays reasonably clean.
As per the webcam image ... we all kinda look like shit in a webcam.
LOL! Maybe time for vacation! Relax a bit!
Butt print FTL. Ewww
This person probably doesn't know how to use the seat covers. Do you?? That was quite gross Matt. I don't like reading about gross things. ( and I am the physician!!) Anyway, yeah people weaving in and out of their lanes on a busy highway scare the heck out of me. There was one crazy guy like that on Tuesday when I was driving back from Chicago.
A night time story. I will tell you one if you come here.
Perhaps you had an encounter with Bigbutt, Bigfoot's long lost cousin. Yes, he's even more elusive than Bigfoot.
As for looking old, I have my days too, especially when I don't sleep. But my Johnson & Johnson fizzling cleanser does the trick and uplifts the lines and the sunken dark areas once again look normal as it brings oxygen to those areas = p
One of the highway here in Chicago that is next to great lakes, have those curvy highway. Lots of accident occur there. Fun to drive on that part of the highway, both hand need to be on steering wheel.
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@CurryPuffy - too bad I didn't have my camera with me. hahaha...
@Rm2046 - I hate using public toilets too. I think I'm gonna be using some hand sanitizers on them in the future!
@stepaside_loser - I think the long hours & stress have taken a toll on me.
@Dezinerdreams - it scared the sh*t out of me (no pun intended).
@Fatcat723 - the 3 bears? hahaha.... that's more for Mike (hee hee...)
@brooklyn2028 - I've seen footprints as well both on the seats and the handle. Crazy....
@kunhuo42 - I think I need to get back to running. I'm sure the lack of exercise has contributed to this too.
@TheCheshireGrins - I should have taken a picture of it. hahahaha
@upandoutward - thanks for the recommendation, I'll look it up. There are small satellites office that I can use every so often. But they are crowded and noisy though. But at least I don't have to drive.
@yang1815 - I didn't laugh when I first saw it. I'm might have even used a word that has the first 2 letters from funny.
@TheLatinObserver - I'm gonna put some duct tape over the webcam.
@mmmagination - that sounds like a good idea!
@Roadlesstaken - yeah, gross. Just when you thought you've seen it all - ugh.
@ZSA_MD - I'm glad you got back safe and sound from your trip to Chicago. I think that's why I hate driving long distances, I'm just so paranoid.
@alchemystfury - dude - you need to write a column about men's health / cosmetics! I'll have to try that J&J product.
As for BigButt, I hope he's not as hairy as BigFoot.
@vsan79 - your Acura is perfect for that type of winding road. Yeah...
Ah,, I hate to use a public restroom... ugh.
Sorry ... that just plain sucks.
I happen by a mirror once or twice a week
and wonder who the old fat guy is that stares back..
He scares me...
*~matthew~*
@bleuzeus - my reflection must have shown up in your mirror somehow... hahahaha.
At first when you mentioned mirror, in the previous comment, i thought you were referring to butt cheeks. lol. Imagine, a mirrored toilet seat with an old fat guy staring at you. Makes for a terrific idea for a horror film.
As for Bigbutt, yes hairy. They are related to each other after all, yeah?
@ElusiveWords - Could handdraw it?! LOL
sigh... you worry too much lah. by the way, butt imprint? yeah, that's just really eeww...
Black toilet seats? How chic!
Comments are closed.