December 11, 2009
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What If She Was Your Daughter?
I've been seeing some really crass and boorish manners in the public transit system here the past couple of days. I'm used to seeing people resting their feet on chairs, hogging chairs with their knapsacks or other bags, littering, body odor, clothes odor...
Today I was on the streetcar. 3 youths got on and they sat in the seats in front of me. 2 guys on the right and a girl on the seat in front of me. I had the aisle seat right behind the girl. I would guess they were about 16 or 17. The girl sat sideways facing her friends and were talking. Suddenly she slouched down and started to cough. She then started to slowly throw up. It wasn't food, just liquids and quite a bit of it. Her friends were laughing. A few of us started to get away from her. Those 3 just continued chatting and laughing as if nothing happened. In the meantime, the puke went up and down the aisle as the streetcar stopped and go. I went up to the driver and told him about the incident. He just said "no way, really?".
My stop was coming up soon and I was relieved to get off the streetcar. Of course, with my luck - those 3 got off at the same stop. They met up with some friends and she started to yell "I'm drunk! Let's go drink some more!"
I hope she'll eventually grow up and mature into a fine young woman. I also hope she'll find a better circle of friends. Who knows, maybe she'll turn out to be an outstanding member of the community. But right now, she's
got a very long way to go.Wwhat would I do if that was my daughter? She's too old for the feather duster (well, maybe not). But I'd probably would give her some tough love. I guess in some ways, I'm glad I'm not a parent. I can understand why some parents just can't handle it.
Comments (37)
Even though I don't have a daughter but a son, teaching our children the dangers of alcoholism and other such social maladies is extremely significant from the gitgo. I realize this doesn't mean their stubborn minds won't try them anyway, but at least we can say they did it out of stupidity than ignorance. Some people would rather learn the hard way anyway.
someone said it's the responsibility of the parents, or the school, or the society...I really do not know.
remember when we were kids, our parents were so tough on us, cannot do this, cannot do that, and we have to do according to their wishes. we were so want to grow up and take full control of our own life.
once we're adult, we think that we shouldn't do the same to the young ones, eventually we are more liberal, let the young one to do what ever they want, giving them all the Tender Loving Care
and now we see more things like what you have seen or experienced are actually happening. which is in some ways a kind of concern.
To me I can only say I'm glad that I'm not and will not be a parent...
another alcoholic. if she's 16/ 17, she should be responsible for her life.
yup, i'm glad that i'm not a parent.
That is just too bad. But, she is young... hopefully she will find some sense soon enough.
Ewww... gross!!!
I don't know, maybe its because I used to be kinda like that that I don't see it as much of a problem. She probably needs to be destructive during her teens and then grow up. I'm glad that I wasn't on the streetcar though...they are dirty enough now-a-days without people throwing up!
When I was quite young my parents, who are not regular drinkers by any stretch but usually had several bottles of alcohol at home that they had received as gifts, told me that if I was ever curious or wanted to try anything, that they would let me try it at home. They explained their belief that if it was seen as some horrible, forbidden thing I would only be encouraged to try it with people or in circumstances that were unsafe. Of course, other than trying an ocassional sip of someone's wine or mixed drink, all of which tasted horrible to me, I didn't feel the need to drink until I was well into college and, even then, only in a responsible manner.
As for the question of who is responsible, it is the parents. That is the responsibility of parents and one of the reasons that it is a shame that any man and woman can impulsively procreate, regardless of how ready or suitable they will be for the responsibility of parenting.
Unfortunately it sounds like the real possibility of alcohol dependency. When, why, where and who are all good questions. I don't look to place guilt or responsibility. I have been in too many sessions with addictive persons than to try and find a simple solution. I do fear that this is not a teenage rebellion but the running away from something/someone.
@christao408 - That's a good way to go about it. Bravo to your parents!
How sad that you had to witness such a disgusting behaviour from a young girl. How sad that her parents haven't ( obviously ) given here the proper guidance. I can just see her future, with those friends of hers, go down the drain, one drink at a time.
@zionlover - I couldn't agree more.
@agmhkg - I think once kids move to their late teens, they need to learn to be accountable and responsible for their own behaviour.
@orchidgrass - hopefully she'll find her way out.
@Dezinerdreams - yeah, maybe it's not too late.
@mmmagination - it was, I don't know if the people way in the back even saw any of it. They could have been stepping all over it on their way out.
@brooklyn2028 - I sometimes just stand on a street car rather than sit down. The newer buses seem to be okay though.
So what made you change and how did you change over time? Anyways ... it would be interesting to read if you ever want to write about it.
@christao408 - my parents were like that too. We had wine and spirits openly displayed. I found it very surprising that my friends would tell me their parents locked up the booze. We had wine on special occassions, learned to sip some of the whiskey and liqueurs and respected it.
@Fatcat723 - that's an interesting perspective and that certainly could be an explanation.
@ZSA_MD - I hope she'll someday she'll grow up and start taking control of her life.
@brooklyn2028 - p.s. gosh, you're up early on a weekend!
@yang1815 - p.s. you're an early bird too!
I hope she grows up soon. Or has a strong enough parental figure in her life to get her life straight.
That is so gross, and the follies of youth, are no excuse. I am only 24, and I have never behaved in such a way. That is so pathetic. If I threw up on anywhere in public, it would be because I was truly ill, and I would be mortified. I hope she's ashamed of herself. Oh, and as for her parents, they should beat her over the head.
@JL789 - I hope her parents or guardians will exert more influence to balance against her immature ways.
@UmmBintAnnalisa - I'd probably would go nuts if I was her parents, sort of firm discipline but be there and try to understand what the heck is going on in her life. I think once you reach 17 or so, you need to start becoming responsible for your own actions. Thanks for dropping by.
wow...that would sure make mom proud...i think i'm gonna skip breakfast now...lol
I've only thrown up on a bus once, but I was 9 years old and my mom thought I was faking sick and sent me to school, anyway. Turns out I had the flu.
That girl reminds me of my sister when she was younger. She's toned down quite a bit in the last few years, maybe this girl will too. Our parents were completely unaware of her behavior until she was in her senior year of high school. I'd already graduated and wasn't there to take her home after school was out, so my mom had to take over that duty. Most often Heather wasn't there because she was off cutting class with her friends, and lost track of time. After that she had school personnel keep track of her, and call her anytime Heather wasn't in her classes. Then she'd go out and look for her. Many times she found her drunk, high, or pilled out of her head. Once she found her 4-wheeling with a group of 6 guys. Another time she found her and a friend at the health department trying to get birth control and a bag of condoms. She skipped so many classes she was in danger of failing her senior year.
If I could describe Mom in one word that year, it would have to be "crushed." She had no idea where Heather'd learned to act this way, or why, or how to deal with it. I'd been her bubble. I was always the good child, with good grades, well-mannered friends, didn't drink or do any sort of drugs, and worked 2 jobs so I could afford all my college expenses. She'd always assumed my sister was the same. But we always had completely different classes until the very end of the day. If she wasn't in band, she knew I'd know she'd been skipping. So she'd always been sure to make it back to school grounds by 2:00. I guess I was like her stopwatch. When I wasn't there anymore, it just stopped.
This isn't to say Heather's perfectly behaved now. Even with the responsibility of 2 kids to care for, she still goes out drinking with her friends. She can't stand to be single, so she gets into these horrible relationships or goes on blind dates with the creepiest of men. Her oldest daughter practically lives with my mom, and I usually watch the younger one. But at least Heather doesn't go balls out and drink to oblivion. She doesn't get high and she's stopped taking pills. I'm sorry to say that it took a near fatal overdose to make her quit. Instead of taking her to the hospital, her friends just sat there and talked while she threw up everything she'd taken.
I hope this girl straightens her act. It's always heartbreaking to see young ladies behaving like trash so early.
Don't you drive?
I think if you had a daughter you would probably drilled it into her head early enough so that would never happen to her.
That is really sad. She's only 16/17. And the friends are something else. I have no idea what lies ahead in the future for her.
If she were my sister, as opposed to daughter, I'd be really concerned and not sure what to do. I don't think stern words would fix it. And how could you introduce them to nicer people? It's a difficult question to answer.
@ElusiveWords - Yeah I get up at 630 to work out and have breakfast before school.
@brooklyn2028 - Really? That surprises me a bit. You don't strike me as the stumble around publicly drunk throwing up type of person. Those are the protected posts, perhaps? =)
Disgusting. There are a lot of people who are simply unfit parents.
@yang1815 - wow... you're very disciplined. School on Saturdays - that's gotta be rough.
I liked the feather duster part. This is new to me. I envision a soft strike and a cloud of dust.
@onmovement - yeah.... sorry about that, lol. I tired not to make it so descriptive.
@the_rocking_of_socks - you've got a good heart. I hope Heather stays on the right path and follows your example. Thanks for sharing your story.
@Wangium - I do drive but not around downtown as parking is always a hassle.
@stepaside_loser - tough one... she's not going to change overnight. I think it would take a crisis to force her to start changing.
@DiaryOfAPsychopath - yep... although I think someone at her age should also start taking responsibility.
@gnostic1 - ah... the feather duster has a "handle" made from rattan I think. Most kids that grew up in Asia would know about this. The handle is used to spank naughty children. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ3eyyHpySM
has a more humorous outtake on this.
@ElusiveWords - Well not every Saturday. But my body's used to getting up kinda early so I just wake up at around the same time anyway even on weekends.
She should definitely be taking responsibility... but since she's not, where are her parents to set her straight?
@DiaryOfAPsychopath - yeah, I agree... it maybe that she doesn't have parents or maybe both her parents work full time or a single parent who work several jobs. These lessons in life start at a very young age and both parents need to be there to set and imprint an example.
wow, can't say that was very classy of the girl. if that was my daughter, i'd be so embarrassed...
Eww, I can't believe that the girl wouldn't be totally embarrassed about throwing up on the streetcar. I really hope she grows up and that it happens soon.
i grew up with plenty kisses from the feather duster (that should tell you how good/bad i was) and though i grew accustomed to its sting, i too grew wiser and turned angelic. well, i'd like to think myself so. i'd like to give her a few whips of that myself to see if i can get a teary reaction from her. what do you think?
@Beckbites - yeah, I'd be pretty embarrassed and ashamed as well.
@TheCheshireGrins - I know, someday maybe she'll learn what's good for her.
@rudyhou - I can't believe you were that naughty when you were growing up.
Truly that is just one of the reasons I'm glad I'm not a father.
I would worry myself sick each and every day.
*~matthew~*
Wow, that's... actually the reason why I don't like public transporation =/
Or Teenagers, for that matter too, haha.
The way kids are growing up these days, it makes me bury my head in my hands. These are the people who are going to be leading the world in a few years.
Sometimes throwing up sick from experimenting with alcohol is a perfect lesson. I do know people that said 'never again' and kept their vow. Also, being really sick is probably the worst punishment of all.
@Ricardo98 - I agree... maybe she needs to be a bit sicker for the lesson to be more effective.
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