February 5, 2010
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Moving On
I was chatting with my aunt the other day. It must have been painful for her to listen to me talk in my fractured Cantonese mixed in with English. She told me about a dream she had of my mom (her younger sister). I think this is the second time she's dreamt about her. I asked what she looked like and some details. It felt strangely comforting listening to all of this. We chuckled and laughed at the dream although we clearly missed her.
It reminded me of a dream my mom had after her cat passed away. This cat was a stray cat that just showed up on one cold November day. We've had cats before and my mom always knew how hard it when pets pass away. This cat quickly became a favorite and was quite smart. Even dad (who wasn't a cat person), slowly came around. Mom asked him one day why he was blow drying his hair in the living room. My dad said the cat was sleeping in their room and he didn't want to wake up the cat.
Sadly, after a few years, the cat became ill and passed away. For months after that, mom always felt the presence of the cat around the house. She complained that she never dreamt about the cat. I always chalked it up to a phase she was going through. About a year after the cat had passed away, my mom told me about a strange dream she had. It was about the cat. She was smiling and laughing when she related the story.
She was in a large open field. She said she quickly knew it was a cat heaven. There were so many cats and she couldn't find her cat. She was getting discouraged when a brownish short hair cat (our cat had a long black fur) came by. My mom bent down and asked "Who are you?" (in Cantonese of course). The cat replied "I'm Meh" in Cantonese. My mom gave the cat a Chinese name although it also had an English name too. So they had a quick and happy reunion. The cat eventually had to say goodbye and returned to the other cats.
Mom told me it's as if the cat wanted to tell her everything was fine and she shouldn't worry about the cat anymore. I could see the cloud lifting off my mom and she did move on.
It took me a few years to move on. I see her in a lot of things I do - especially when I cook or when I look after my dad. Her guiding hand is still there after all these years.
Comments (23)
Once a while, I still think of my dad who passes away sometime back. He would smile in my dreams and that somehow comfort me. When I visit HK and took mom out to lunch or dinner, sometimes I felt he was there smiling knowing his wife and his son happy together. Strange uh.
@stevew918 - no, it's not strange at all Steve. I'm sure he would be proud of you. *hugs*
We had a cat once that was found in the car of a woman who committed suicide. We named her after the woman!
http://careygly.xanga.com/658801211/remembering-iraqi-widows-and-cats--dogs-on-memorial-day/
I know what you are talking about! I used to dream/feel the presence of my aunt too... but now, its been really long since that has happened.
@ElusiveWords - @stevew918 - Dreams can be comforting at times, don't you agree? I sometimes dreamed of my departed partner, and it was a good one with smiles and laughter in it too! I missed spending the good times cooking and eating together too!
Sometimes I wonder if they dont stay with us a while. I had a dog my ex took/stole from me. One night a few years later I dreamed I saw her again. I called her and she came running. She told me she wanted to say goodbye. I told her how much I loved her and that I was so sorry for not being able to get her back and care for her. She told me it was ok and that she knows I tried and that I loved her. I took the dream to mean she had passed away.
I recall or feel my parents presence at odd times. It maybe in an action I am performing. IT can be at work when all of sudden they are there. Strange feeling. I understand what you mean.
aww... that is such a sweet memory. pets become such a big part of our lives; my bf and i have mentioned how much we will miss our cat if/when she dies. i guess it just goes to show that those who are important to us live on through the love we shared with them.
... i cant imagine loossin my parents.. mus be hard.. *hug* ... wel, i love cats.. adn htey sure are amazinng pets...
*hugs* Matty
My family and I still talk about my grandmother that passed away all the time. We all seem to dream about her a lot. I hear you on it being comforting to talk about things like that. It makes me feel closer to my grandma.
I can still feel my grandmother speaking through me sometimes. When I bake or when I cook, I feel like she's in the kitchen with me.
Nice entry. It gives perspective on one's own life
Holy crap that made me cry... Super touching entry!
@CareyGLY - wow - that's an interesting story!
@Dezinerdreams - I think I've only dreamt about my mom once. But then again, I seldom remember my dreams. But sometimes when I sleep in, I swear she's around trying to wake me up.
@CurryPuffy - *hugs* Gary... those are special dreams.
@macphoto - oh gosh... *sniff* I have a funny feeling that might be true.
@Fatcat723 - yep... I don't feel her at work, usually it's when I'm cooking or when I'm at my dad's place.
@kunhuo42 - losing pets is just like losing a member of the family. I had another cat before who used to sleep on my bed at night. (actually she would go around to all the beds and so I could feel her jumping up to my bed and jumping down from it). After she passed away, I could still feel something walking on my bed at night when I was sleeping. It was the oddest feeling.
@shibzAndArz - yeah, I've had 3 cats and 1 dog. I'm a cat person.
@yang1815 - thanks Andy.
@TheCheshireGrins - aww... that's great that you all talk about her and you dream about her.
@secade - no wonder your baking always seems to come out fine.
@thetemptor - thank you.
@brooklyn2028 - aww...really? I'll have to start rating my entries. This one is a 3 tissue out of 5.
@ElusiveWords - Acctually, I've screwed up two recipes in the last year... it was heartbreaking
Your post has tugged at my heart strings Matt. Love you.
it's always nice to dream about those who have passed before us. it's a way to reconnect with them. in the past i dreamt about being in the same room as my late grandmas and grad-grandma, all with full smiles on their faces. it didn't seem odd at all seeing them although in my dream i knew they have passed. i found it very dearing.
Aw...
@ZSA_MD - I wonder sometimes if I should write more happy stuff. But then I tell myself, this is my blog.
@rudyhou - I rarely remember my dreams. I wish I had more vivid dreams of those that have passed on.
@Wangium -
don't be sad.
@ElusiveWords - No darling boy, you should write whatever you want to write. It certainly is your blog. You are writing here because you want to satisfy your self. the readers don't care.
there was a time when some people asked me why I wrote only sad poems. it is the matter of the self and the pen. I have no control over it. So you should feel that you are doing us a great service by showing us how vulnerable life is and the toughest of men and women have a softness to their psyce.
Please keep writing. I LOVE to read them.
i don't know if i could be as level-headed and strong as you. death of the people i love is scary for me.
@stepaside_loser - it's not easy to deal with for a lot of people. I don't know if I would describe myself as level-headed and strong. I have watched my aunt passed away in front of me, drawing her last breath. I had flown to Hong Kong as my mom couldn't be there. That night I called my mom to let her know that her sister passed away peacefully. It was one of the most difficult call I had to make.
When the time comes for you to deal with this, you'll find that there's a reservoir of strength that you can draw from.
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