February 21, 2010

• Writing as a Goal

  This was a 4 day week that felt like a 6 day week.  I spent every night working on a variety of stuff, not to catch up but so I don’t fall too far behind.  By the end of the week, I was just exhausted.  I spent most of yesterday in a mental fog that seemed to drift in an out accompanied by a headache.  But my bf prepared a nice soup with soba noodles and made dinner as well.  It helped beat back the zombie state I was in.

  The only respite this week was accidentally coming across a show about writers.  It was on Bravo TV and I think the show I caught was part of a series called “Writer’s Confessions”.  The hockey game was on at the same time and I had my work to finish up.  What fragments I caught was very interesting.  A few of you have complimented me on my writing (which I appreciate).  I saw a course for $600!  I almost fainted and besides enrollment had already stopped.  Is my writing really that good?  Is this just a fantasy of mine? 

  My interest in writing was only sparked by blogging and ironically work.  I write a lot more at work in these past few years than I had before.  I’ve purchased several books about writing to learn more about this craft.  I just love how words can make people laugh, cry, cringe, smile and how it can heal.  All you need to do is just string them together.  What I heard in that episode was how solitary writing can be.  It was obvious of course but I never thought about it.  You spend hours talking to yourself, listening to your characters, watching how your story unfold and seeing if it captures your thoughts. 

  My only literary training was high school English Lit.  Shakespeare drove me nuts.  Thomas Hardy put me to sleep.  Waiting for Godot was weird.  The Canterbury Tales was horrific.  Huckleberry Finn was interesting though. 

  I think I want to write a gaysian coming of age story.  Every so often, when I day dream, I can visualize bits and pieces of the story. 

  ***
  Calvin had never invited anyone into his apartment before.  His parents had always been very strict about that.  The house was for family only.  Calvin never understood that but as he grew up, he saw how small his townhouse was to some of the homes his friends owned.  Jason was every thing he wasn’t.  Jason was popular, outgoing and spoke English without an accent.  He joked he was simply a jook sing.  But Jason’s Cantonese wasn’t bad.  They met while assigned to a school project.  Calvin figured he would end up doing the bulk of the work.  That had always been the case before.  Calvin used his smarts to try to win friends by doing most of the work.  Surely they would return the favour.  But that never happened. 

  Jason however was different even though he struggled with all the financial and accounting problems.  Calvin shook his head.  How difficult was it to read an annual report?  But after many hours in the library study room, they found a way to work together.   While studying Jason would always lean up against Calvin to look at his laptop.  He struggled to control himself explaining how assets and liabilities but liked the warmth and smell of Jason.  He often caught himself staring at Jason who seemed oblivious to all of this.  Jason had very thick and busy eye brows which Calvin just wanted to touch.  But Calvin understood this was not to be.

  And now, they were finishing up another module in Calvin’s home.  Calvin spent every night of the week cleaning up all the clutter his parents had left behind.  He wondered about all the jars, plastic bags, rubber bands and other things in the kitchen.   It looked too … Chinese.  He looked at the blue Danish cookies bins in the dining room.  While he loved those butter cookies, he could never understand why it was popular with a lot of his relatives. 

  He stared out the window as the time approached.  He saw Jason pull up in his truck.  He stared in amazement.  He had never seen a Chinese guy drive a pickup truck before. 
  ***

  Ok… that’s the best I can come up with in the spur of the moment…. back to my Sunday chores.

  • 4:16 PM
  • 23 Comments