May 6, 2010
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Journal Entry
I’ve spent the past few weeks trying to get a handle on my dad’s finances. He doesn’t use a computer nor an ATM. It was difficult trying to figure out what some of transactions are. At one point, I started to raise my voice “You’re paying for something you don’t use?” He looked at me and didn’t say anything. I quickly calmed down and told him “Don’t worry, we’ll get everything sorted out.” Later on in the evening, he asked me if I had a rough day at work. He then told me “Your dad is getting to be a klutz with his banking.” I kept telling he isn’t.
For now, I’ve set up the accounts as joint accounts. I can show him his transactions, pay his bills and he doesn’t have to get his passbook updated. I’ve never been that organized with my own financial records. This drives J nuts. But after this past few weeks, my attitude has changed.
Comments (22)
Funny how having to take over someone else’s finances suddenly gives you an appreciation for needing to organize your own. I feel like you’re treading just a bit ahead of me on a path I know I’ll have to go down, too. While it may not give you much comfort, I’m glad to know other people are facing the same challenges.
very nice of you to help him out… sounds like quite the undertaking…
@christao408 - I have to start thinking about power of attorney and things like that soon. I know how tough it can be when someone passes away and their significant other has to decipher their financial statements and accounts. I think it’s better for me to do this now than later on.
@tsotofu - yeah, especially for someone like me who isn’t terribly organized.
You are so nice to help out. Did your other siblings put in their time too? I cannot imagine when the time comes for my parents’ finances.
That’s really nice of you.
@CurryPuffy - Yeah, they do. I just don’t write about them.
@oxyGENE_08 - thanks Gene.
oh honey, you are so good to your dad. I know he is so happy that you are there to help him out. I am just happy there is someone like you in his life, who can take care of things. All his blessings will be with you always.
Yes I remember how you were not as organized and your bf used to help you with that a couple of years ago, and tell you to manage and get organized!!
I’ve been learning comparable things this past month…
Once again, you’re a wonderful son.
since I’m not that good at mine, I just trying to keep everything as simple as I can……
I went through that with my folks. It is not an easy path for sure. Quick story – I was trying to help balance their checking account as they got a notice it was overdrawn. I showed them how to deduct each check they wrote. My dad’s response was I still had checks so I figured I still had money.
I am happy to read about this! I like organization
Oh man. My parents are the complete opposite. They watch their bank account like a hawk, especially because we have a convience store, so there are a lot of auto payments that take place.
you have done a good thing for your dad
@ZSA_MD - I hope it’ll take a bit of stress and pressure off him.
@Wangium - it’ll be interesting to read about them.
@yang1815 - thank you. There’s still so much to do.
@agmhkg - simple is good!
@Fatcat723 - I hate to laugh but I know you’ll understand if I chuckle. I do see a few over drawn situations.
@mmmagination - oh Benson, you and J will get along so well.
@throughsamseyes - it’s a good thing to keep an eye on it. Sometimes the banks do make mistakes.
@theramblingman - thank you – appreciate it.
I know where you are coming from. My folks are both in their ’80′s. Mom well off into the mists of Altzheimers, Dad still functioning fairly well, but I have had to take over a lot of things like that. Think about powers of attorney, wills, trusts, etc. Take care, Matt.
@Toro69 - yeah, my brother and I are starting to talk about stuff like that. I always think about you when I write about my dad. I know you’ve got a full plate.
@ElusiveWords -
he can rest easy to know you’ve got his back. he trusts you. that’s what’s important.
@rudyhou - yeah, I did some online banking for him yesterday and he felt better. So I’m relieved as well.
Matt, I wish I had stepped in and been a bit more forceful
when my father was going through his savings. He had little
to begin with, and nothing when he passed.
I do understand why he did the things he did, I just wish
he would have listened to his children a bit more.
That being said none of us wanted to be left anything
for ourselves, it would have just enriched his final years
a bit more.
I’m glad you’re there for your Father, I’m sure he knows
how lucky he is.
Be well,
*~matthew~*
@bleuzeus - thank you Matthew. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s important to try and understand my dad’s intentions rather than just looking at the actions by themselves. I’m glad you understood why he did the things he did. My dad doesn’t have much to leave behind – just the house (and a bunch of books). I don’t really need the money – it would be nice but not important.