January 9, 2011
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Breaking bread and making friends
Just before the holidays, J and I had dinner with one of my cousins. We don't see each other a lot but when we do, there seems to be a lot of good chemistry and laughter (mostly at my expense). We got caught up with each other's family and I shared a bit more about my dad's health with him. I like that it wasn't all fun and laughter. It was good to know that I felt comfortable to talk about some serious things even though it was in a noisy restaurant. It's one of those things where you have to open up a bit and see how he feels. I know he lost his dad at a very young age and he is very close to his family. But maybe at the next gathering, it can be some place quieter where we can have a more serious conversation. I have a hunch though he is curious about my relationship with J. Everytime we meet up, J and I are together and I'm sure he'll eventually put 2 and 2 together. He just knows that we are friends and J and him have mutual business acquaintances. Since I have a few gay relatives, J has a hunch he is gay. A few years back, J was surprised to find out how many gay cousins I have.
J and I also met up with another mutual friend of ours the other day. He's a nice guy and doesn't seem to mind being teased a lot. Heck - he's a consultant so he is used to this. We met up in Koreantown and it was good to walk around that area a bit. I haven't been there lately. We grabbed dinner and polished off all the appetizers (2 rounds, a couple of beers and split up 3 main dishes). The only odd thing about him is that he just wants to get to know us a lot more and become closer friends. I say odd because I don't really know what to make of him. He's a nice guy, married with kids. He and I actually have roots in the same "village" in China (many, many generations ago). So we joke that we are "brothers" although none of us can speak the dialect. He has already told me he has a few gay friends. He's a nice guy so we'll see how this develops. From my point of view, he's almost treating J and I as couples already. Or maybe I'm just reading a lot more into this than I should.
Finally - no pictures of the foods from the restaurant. It's a bit of a hassle bringing the DSLR out. I need to carry my knapsack, get the flash attached and it attracts all sorts of attention. J is horrified everytime I even think about bringing my camera. If it's just the 2 of us in a restaurant, he'll die of embarrassment. "C'mon Matt, they'll think we are country bumpkins and this is the first good restaurant we are eating in." It's as if I'm taking porn. I have my eye on a faster lens already (50mm f1.4). Or maybe I should just get a compact that is good in low light but I can be discreet in shooting my food porn. Maybe I should just get both.
Comments (14)
Well with a prime fast lens, you don't need a flash.
Keep in mind that 50mm on a crop body like your 40D might be a little too long for food photos at the table.
Perhaps J needs to realize that there is such a thing as food blogging. Taking photos of food isn't just for people's first visit to a good restaurant anymore.
That and who cares what some strangers think o_O
Yup. I don't like the attention too when you take your DSLR out. And you know I've always wanted that lens but it's too expensive for me atm. I was supposed to get a 35mm but then I had to pay my CC Bills.
I also don't like it when my friends all pull out their cameras at the same time and take pictures of the same food - why can't people share? But, to be honest, I'd rather have the photos than not - I just can't help but feel embarrassed.
Nice going with being able to talk to your cousins about more interesting and important things. Isn't it always good to have more gay friends? I wouldn't mind at all.
A meal has always been a social event in my family. I have tried to continue the tradition. I do live alone so eating alone is no uncommon. However, at the place I have mentioned in my past posts I am know by name by some of the staff. It is not unusual to find a waitress/waiter sitting at my table (if they have time) and sharing some of their family news with me. I love food and no food porn on my site --I eat it too quickly
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all that camera talk is beyond me... i'm happy with my little point-and-shoot camera that i don't have to fiddle with to get reasonable-quality photos. i'll leave the dslr cameras and lenses and whatnot to you.
hanging out with family and friends is always nice. it sounds like you are not really out to your whole family? i'm kind of in the same boat, but only because my parents are uncomfortable with me being gay still. once they fully accept it, then i have no real qualms about coming out to the extended family (uncles/aunts and cousins -- not that i have very many of either).
I laughed to think of J's embarrassment when you pull out that camera! But I say take pictures! I'm hungry and want to see all this glorious food!
I take pictures of food all the time. J shouldn't feel embarrassed. Tell him I wait for those pictures.
I'm glad you are getting the opportunity to go out and socialize, especially with your cousin. Sounds like the type of connections that are healthy for you. As for the mutual friend, your radar reading sounds right to me. Classic symptoms.
Canon S90 and Panasonic Lumix LX-5 offer great low-light point-and-shoot and are compact.
hehe i used to feel a bit awkward bringing cameras into restaurants and taking pictures of food but i seem to have gotten over it...
@yang1815 - maybe the 50 mm would be better for other purpose. Oh J knows all about food bloggers, he just wished I had a spy camera instead.
@oxyGENE_08 - is your Nikon full frame? The 50mm on mine would be 80mm on my Canon. Gee... good lenses are always so expensive. I've got other bills to pay too - sigh. I hope you get your 35mm soon.
@stepaside_loser - one on hand, I want to improve my food photography and on the other hand, I want to be really discreet about it. I have a few gay cousins although I only keep in contact with one. The other ones aren't close to me. There's another gay cousin who I chat with from time to time but she doesn't know I'm gay. I think it would good if I had more gay friends in real life.
@Fatcat723 - it's good that the waitress and waiters drop by and chat. Usually when I'm taking pics of my home cooking, I sometimes take too long trying to arrange things just right. But I get too hungry and I prefer to eat my dinner when it's still hot.
@kunhuo42 - I'm not out to my family. Dad's a really conservative guy and the last time we were at the doctor's office, he asked the nurse if she knew someone who would go out with me. (I just roll my eyes.) I'm out to one of my gay cousins who told me he had a hunch. I'm pretty sure my brother and sister suspects but they are too polite to mention it. I think you would never get any baking done if I was taking pictures of your baking. Btw - I like your wooden counter. It sort of gives it a restaurant feel.
@heart_beep - yeah, he just cringes and moans when I grab my camera bag. "You're not bringing that to dinner are you?" hahaha....
@ZSA_MD - hahaha... ok, I will.
@christao408 - yeah, these opportunities don't come often especially with my workload. But I do need the balance. I see Canon has a new S95 as well. I do like the quality of the pictures from your Panasonic too. I don't think I can go wrong with either model.
@onmovement - hahaha... you're used to being on the stage and in the spotlight though. I'm sort of a behind the scenes kinda guy.
@ElusiveWords - I'll check on that...but yes hopefully.
@ElusiveWords - wow, you know of several gay cousins. i find that interesting.. really interesting. i don't know my cousins at all, really, considering i've only met them once and they're all in china. makes me sort of pine to be around my cousins, but i guess it could be a double-edge sword considering we're gay and want to be discreet.
@ElusiveWords - thanks... we're renting the house so we had no say in the matter, but i do like the wooden counters also.
@christao408 - Yeah the S90/S95 have gotten great reviews.
@ElusiveWords - Spy camera eh? The photo quality would not be good enough to post IMHO.
I look forward to the day I meet you and perhaps J and just whip out my gripped DSLR, stand on top of a chair taking a photo of the food in the middle of a quiet upscale restaurant while wearing a safari vest and a belt full of lenses.
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