May 19, 2011
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Need to Write
I guess my frequent time off from work to look after my dad has got my manager worried. While he is supportive and doesn’t mind (I just take them as vacation days) I do know that if I take too much, my work will suffer even more. Right now, I take between 2 to 4 days off a month to drive dad around. I try to make it up by working longer hours. But that comes at a price. At the end of the year, when we are all ranked – I know my productivity won’t be the highest. Some days this just stresses me out. There are also days when I figure – if they let me go then so be it. I’ll live on my savings for awhile. I’d probably use the free time to look after dad and maybe take some courses on writing.
The other week, I had to craft an email for my sr mgr who was going to forward it down to his bosses in the US. He looked at it and said “you like to write don’t you?” I chuckled and was about to tell him that I do like to write. But quickly realized he wanted me to edit it a lot more and make it as concise as possible. I sheepishly nodded and re-edited it.
Some days it saddens me that the only writing I do are these irregular entries in my blog or the reports I have to churn out for work. That’s why I have a great deal of respect and admiration for those of you who write regularly. As I mentioned in my previous entry, writing keeps me sane.
For now, it’s back to my padded cell.
Comments (22)
My executive director made a similar comment to me once on some slides I made. I had the same reaction you did.
hang in there. you have the right things in the right place. perspective is so powerful, don’t you think?
this reminds me of one time when my old manager asked me to write an email for him because he thought my emails were really good. little did he know that i was once at the top of the xanga empire! hehe.
Writing is a good form of release. I think its honorable looking after your dad, but don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. Just remember, after the storm comes the rainbow.
Matt, your sanity and being able to take care of your dad, are more important than your job. If worse comes to worse, you can always move to Thailand. LOl
@Roadlesstaken - Did you suggest he sing his presentation?
@christao408 - Haha, noooo
that’s the wall of your padded cell?
i’m amazed at those who write regularly.. i often wish that i don’t need to write to make a point or get a message accross..
It’s just right for you to WRITE!
)
i have a friend back in the USA who went through what you are going through. at the end, he quit his job and focused on his dad for a good three-month period before he finally looked for a job again. sad to say, his father passed away and it was only then that he went back to the working world. he confided to me that he didn’t have the energy and time to be both employed AND be a full time care taker of his ill father (he is the only child in the family and has no relatives to turn to). he didn’t regret his decision and he was glad that his financial standing allowed him to be unemployed for so many months. i’m not suggesting that you should do the same but i just want you to be aware that there are possibilities and IF the time comes for you to have to make similar decision, just go with what your gut tells you as the right thing to do. i’m hoping it won’t have to come to that, but i’m sure that you’ll be just as strong and able to handle it.
I don’t think I have ever asked… what exactly is your job? Feel free to ignore this if you’re not allowed to tell anyone
Yes, writing and posting on xanga do keep our minds away from the daily chores and issues. One’s job is important to feed the family, but if it comes down to taking care of parents, I think the latter is the priority. So, I’m quite mentally prepared to move back home when the time comes.
Perhaps you can become a ghost writer for some people – that pays good money and you can work at home. Don’t worry about infrequent blogs or commenting. Take care of yourself first.
Oh, Matt! Poor you – and I don’t mean this in a condescending way. You just sound like you’re in a really bad place at the moment. It sounds horrible that work has this effect on you – yes it pays money, yes it’s probably sounds good to have your job, but the fact that you’re so closely ranked on your performance and that it even puts doubt in the time you spend helping your dad out is awful.
Just an idea – there are online writing courses that are prerecorded. You can listen to their tips about writing, and they give you exercises you do to create a story. Then you submit it and they provide feedback.
I feel saddened that you don’t even have time to pursue your writing hobby – I don’t want my life to come to this (my problem is laziness, at the moment).
It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of pressure. Maybe leaving the job and taking those writing classes won’t be such a bad idea. In the mean-time, you could look for a new job that is more flexible so you can still take care of your father without taking sick-days. …I don’t know how hard it is to find employment there, but it’s always an option.
i definitely know what you mean! all my writing energies go into writing papers for work, so i don’t have any inspiration to blog. i can’t wait until i have to start writing my thesis (which i should start doing soon), when things will get even worse!
I write a thousand words at a time.
i like your writing matt, seriously!! too bad i cant write well >< but at least i could enjoy reading here XD
@Roadlesstaken - powerpoint slides – where less is more.
@caki730 - thanks, I’ll hang in there.
@JonasApproved - lol… if your mgr only knew. I never knew how you found time to blog back then. You were always so busy.
@Closure_Theory - thank you, in some ways though – I’m not really looking forward to that inevitable rainbow after the storm.
@christao408 - on the other side of the coin, I still need the money and benefits. I do have the option (I think) of taking an extended leave of absence.
@maniacsicko - you use your club to get the message across right?
@oxyGENE_08 - hahaha… thanks Gene. You made me smile.
@rudyhou - I’m not sure I have that financial capability but when that time comes, I think I’ll have to take that chance. I need to be there for him.
@Senlin - see PM.
@CurryPuffy - you’re a good son Gary. I agree with your comment about the priority.
@Fatcat723 - thanks Rob. A ghost writer. I think I would need to get a bit more experience first but I like that idea.
@stepaside_loser - when the time comes I’ll be there for my dad. I hope I don’t have to quit my job but I think I can work something out like a leave of absence or something like that. I did see some online courses but it required a fair bit of time.
@Devilzgaysianboi - hey Kev – interesting options. I saw some online courses unfortunately they do require a fair bit of time. I’ll have to see if there are others that are self paced.
@kunhuo42 - a thesis… ugh. Although I think your strong academic background will more than see you through this. I’m not sure I could ever write a thesis.
@yang1815 - what? Grrr…. I get writer’s block even on emails.
@lcfu - thanks Fufu. Oh you write well – in at least 2 languages too!
I commend you for the way you are taking care of your aging father. Not many can say that or hold a candle to your selflessness. You are doing the right thing. it’s a great tribute to the principles with which you have been brought up. Continue to do what you are doing, and if the worse comes to worse, you will lose a job, but you will have the most awesome memories of your father as you take care of him till the end. And NO ONE can take them away from you.
Much love and many hugs.
Zakiah.
@ElusiveWords - a picture at a time, get it?
@ZSA_MD - thanks for those sage words of advice and comfort.
@yang1815 - GROAN
@ElusiveWords - sore loser.