December 31, 2011
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Hurry Up and Wait
The past few weeks have been a tricky balance between trying to enjoy life and keeping an eye on dad. The last couple of times we saw his doctor, the wait was over an hour. One time we had 3 appointments in the same day. I even went there a day early to get an extra hospital card so I could check him on his second appointment while he was still waiting for his first appointment (blood test). As luck would have it, the physician didn’t put in the requisition for his medicine. I wasted 40 minutes trying to have him page and going through the usual hospital red tape. It takes about an hour to two to prepare the medicine. Because it’s expensive, they always wait until the patient is physically in the hospital before they can prepare it. So we waited a good hour before he got his medicine. Since it is administered in an IV, there was another 30 minutes of waiting for the medicine to empty and for the IV lines to be flushed. By this time, my dad was exhausted and grumpy. We went on to see his doctor. We waited another hour or so. When we saw him we were told his blood test results were not ready. I said it usually takes 2 hours and we’ve been here a lot longer so the results should be ready. The doctor went to the computer and just shook his head. We had to come back in another month.
So last week we came back and waited over 2 hours past the appointment time before the doctor was free. I asked once why the wait was so excruciatingly long. I was told he is only available 1/2 day a week at this hospital. So they just overlay appointments. If my dad’s appointment was at 1PM, there would be 4 or 5 people with the same time slot. Each of the patients would go into another waiting room and wait for the doctor. Some times the nurse would recognize us and would move us up. But everyone else in the waiting room is also wary about that so she has to do it discreetly.
My dad got a new prescription with some nasty side effects (loose bowels). He missed Xmas dinner at his favorite restaurant and only nibbled at the take out food I got for him. The next day my brother was hosting a dinner with the extended family and he missed that. After a couple more days of not being able to eat, he got weak. His doctor was only holidays and the message on his voicemail was to contact the operator who will then page the backup physician. I did that but was told my dad’s doctor was not away. So I left a message on his voicemail. When he didn’t call back by the end of day, I simply told my sister to cut the prescription in half. During this ordeal, my brother made daily trips to a restaurant to buy congee for him. My sister made sure he drank more water and bananas. He kept an eye on him at night when he went to the washroom. The half dosage of his meds helped and he was able to start to eat more and kept his food in. After persuading the hospital operator, I managed to get hold of my dad’s other physician who told him to stop the meds for one day and call him back the next day. My dad got better and was more alert so he resumed the meds but at half dosage.
In the meantime, I managed to squeeze in some dinners with friends but there is always this guilty feeling that I should do more. I don’t know what the right level of balance is. Guilt, even misplaced guilt can be corrosive and depressing.
Forgive the rant (and any grammar / typos). I wish our medical system (even though it has it good points) is more patient friendly.
Peace and love for 2012.
Comments (24)
I know the feelings of frustration associated with caring for an elderly parent. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope things get better soon.
@ccrider17 - thank you, I appreciate your words of support.
I can totally relate… sometimes being not that patient and release some “controlled” anger/indignation can do a lot in speeding things up. And of course the Chinese way of bribing the nurses and the office admin peeps with gifts and compliments do make things smoother. Take the wait time as necessary “networking” time with the staff do make them remember you more and hopefully on your side when you need them.
HUG HUG
@ElusiveWords - I hope you have some support mechanism as well, as those that take care of others are the ones that get worn out. That said, take care of you as well.
Watch out, Matt. The Republicans are going to seize on this blog entry as an example of the evils of socialized medicine! =D
Seriously, sorry that this is such an ordeal. You would think that the system would be more patient-centric.
You shouldn’t feel guilty at all, you’re such a good man looking after your father
. Most people in this day and age would not be as reliable or loving as you.
I have experienced the same hurry and wait a couple of times. Wait in the reception area for a time until the nurse moves you to an examination room where I continued to wait. The doctor arrive exactly 1 hour from my scheduled time. I am getting old so maybe more grumpy. I am a ba patient I know. You, Matt, are being a good son. Rant on here all you want – that isi why we are here. Patient-centered medicine is difficult to find. Peace and Love in 2012.
I really admire all your efforts to look after your Dad. You’re a good son. Don’t worry too much. Anyway, may you have a happy new year!
@ZenPaper - dad says a lot of uhm… “politically incorrect” things in the waiting room when he is impatient. I’m not normally someone who is very patient but I have to play that role when I’m with him. I’ll try the “bribing” technique and see if that works.
@ccrider17 - yeah, I’m trying to find some time for myself as well but it’s not easy as you probably know.
@pika_whoosh - thanks Matthew, there’s always this nagging thought that I can always do more. I guess it’s just programmed into our genes.
@christao408 - I tried to put that little disclaimer near the end. Some of his meds are very expensive (over $1,000) which is all paid for by our health system. I just wished it was more patient centric.
@Fatcat723 - Dad sometimes takes his cane and bangs on the desk or the wall when he is in the examination room. The waiting is just mind numbing and he just clams up when the doctor starts asking him questions about his health. By that time, he tells me he just wants to get out of there and will tell the doctor he has no pains and no symptoms which drives me crazy. Thanks for reading the rant Rob.
@oxyGENE_08 - Thanks Gene and Happy New Year to you too.
For some reason doctors have been given an exalted position in society…It’s horseshit.
Trust me…want to get in at your appointed time? Threaten to walk out and call the media. They overbooked? So? That is their fuckup, not yours. I put up with this shit for years then said “ENOUGH!”
Your appointment was for 9am and it’s now 11, my appointment was for 11, I”M GOING IN!! Don’t be mad at me 9am guy, be mad at the doctor. I’m on time, and I’m not waiting.
No other business can operate the way the medical business does. And it is JUST a business.
I’ll grant them an extra 10 minutes for emergencies…but that’s it.After that, fuck em, I’m complaining loud and clear.
I always get in right away, and on time.
As I continued reading your post, I was getting angrier by the word. That is so bad to schedule so many patients in one time slot. Some of the physicians do that here too. My business mangager approached me about doing that, and said that would be economically good for me. I laughed at her and said that “twnety five years the people in this town came to me because I was so punctual and because I always returned the patients’ calls, and now you want me to make money out of their trust for me?” It is just inexcusable Matt. May be you should send a bill to the doctor for the time you wasted in his office, charging him x number of dollars per hour! Some people have done that in the US.
Please take care of yourself Matt. In the pursuit of taking care and supporting your dad, please don’t ignore your needs.
Thank you immensely for your comment on my post from last night about the rant.
Happy New Year love.
@Bricker59 - I think it’s more the system than the doctors. They try to jam as much patients into that afternoon as possible. I definitely agree that no business can operate that way. If they can just inject some “business sense” into the system (but not necessarily into a pure profit enterprise), I think it would serve the public a lot better.
@ZSA_MD - I remember you telling me once that people seldom waited when you were practicing. It’s really painful to watch everyone in the waiting room. Thank you for your words of wisdom and advice. They are much appreciated.
Your post brought up some familiar feelings about the system in Hong Kong too. We brought dad to see the specialist on a Saturday (yes, Saturday is an official half work day in HK), the wait is not too bad, but I can see the appointment schedule is quite cramped, and we were there 15 minutes ahead than schedule. I can’t imagine the wait must be way longer in the non-specialist clinics. Take care and you have my full support!
I have constant admiration and respect for you bud, balancing such tough responsibilities while still moving things along. All the best in 2012. Someday, when I find myself back in the public service, I promise Health Care reform will be something I’ll work on.
@CurryPuffy - I hope your parents are doing well Gary. I know very little about the health care in HKG. I’m assuming there’s a very basic public health insurance / care and likely a private hospitals too? This doctor is an oncologist and I think he splits his time between teaching, researching and being a doctor. Thanks for the support – much appreciated.
@AzureRecollections - thanks Dan, my sister carries the larger burden as she lives with my dad. I help out where I can. The system can sure use some reform. Remember, I promised to vote for you (even if you’re not going to run as Prime Minister).
Very sorry to hear about these worries. I hope you can continue to be strong! All the best.
gosh the doc sounds horrible!!!
poor dad!
@beowulf222 - thank you and all the best to you in 2012 as well.
@yang1815 - it’s not really the doctor, more the system than anything else. Sigh…
Sorry that you have to go through such a crappy experience.
Doctors and nurses are also aware of these kind of issues – in far greater details too, but it is not up to them to change things around.Guess you have to start networking in the hospital if you go there often. Making friends with nurses and even custodian will be far more beneficial than you expected.
Our medical system sucks too. I’m sorry to hear about your Dad’s problems. As always, he’s lucky to have you. Happy New Year!
This makes us wish sometimes that we can’t get sick. The medical system can be the pits at times. It’s good your father has you to fall back on.
Im sorry you have to go through that much trouble… and sorry that your father has to go through all that trouble too. You’re a wonderful son for always being there for everything. Hope all is well and that you were able to have a decent new years.
i agree. you’re such a good son. your dad is lucky to have you, and you’re lucky to have your dad. i’m sorry. i know it’s frustrating being a patient sometimes. been there too, and i always try to remember what that felt like.
Matt — I’m sorry I missed this when you first posted it! Do be sure to take care of yourself first — there’s a maxim I may have actually told you before that the caregiver must take care of himself first! That may just mean taking an hour each day to get away from the situation, or an evening with friends once in a while, or whatever you enjoy doing. It is a very tricky balance, and often frustrating — you did the right things, and should not feel that you needed to do more — there was nothing more that you could have done! Take a deep breath, enjoy yourself, and enjoy the fact that you are able to help your dad!