February 25, 2012
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It Isn’t Just Another Day
I had an odd dream the other day. It shook me up for a couple of days. I don’t remember a lot of the details, just the general theme. I dreamt that I only had 2 to 3 months to live. But the doctor had a lot of trouble telling me the news. I pretty well had to pry it out from him. I walked out of the hospital in a daze. I wanted to tell someone but everywhere I went – people were just going on with their lives. There was a steady stream of pedestrians all going about with their business. People going to work, kids going to school and humanity just going about their business. It was a beautiful summer day but no one seemed to notice. People were so busy with their own affairs. I kept looking for someone to talk to. I wanted to tell someone that it wasn’t business as usual for me anymore.
But there wasn’t anyone that I knew. Everyone just kept walking on. I felt helpless and ignored. I was just a silent extra in this movie of life. It was very unsettling and that feeling lingered with me for a couple of days.
Perhaps this is how my dad feels when he sees me and my siblings going on with life. I thought I was an emphatic person but maybe this is Someone’s way of telling me to pay closer attention.
The other weird thing is that I woke up with some red marks on my forehead. It’s almost as if someone scratched it with their fingernails. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror trying to figure out what it was. To my surprise, the reflection of the red lines looked a lot like 14. It was still there after I showered and it slowly faded away by lunch time.
Comments (22)
Go back to sleep, find the doctor and punch him in the face.
That’s really scary, the marks on your head. I would be running to church if that were me. Hahaha.
But great insight on your dream. For you to turn it around and realize it for your father already says a lot about empathetic you really are. Others (like me) would totally obsessed about how the dream can be interpreted by MY life
You’ve written this really well, Matt – I really love the line “it isn’t just another day”. @youngvan has made a great point about how empathetic you really are. The red 14 mark on your forehead sounds potentially ominous, if you’re superstitious. OK, I officially have the chills.
That marking on your head is no mark of ther devil. I’m thinking that the #14 identifies you as being a proud member of that secret elite team called…The Illuminati…
That is scary! I am glad i seldom remember having dreams. Do you have dreams often?
You need check what you eat as a bedtime snack! Seriously dreams give the mind a chance to go crazy so one person told me. I don’t remember my dreams. If you keep writing them down you may end up with a good book. Seriously I would be sacred too but hey I still live one day at a time.
er… that must have been a stressful dream if you were scratching your forehead in your sleep! i wonder if what it means is that you should finally stop being an anonymous blogger and reveal yourself so that others can recognize you when they see you =P
the love you have for your father… wow. terrifying dream. i wonder if some of my patients feel this way. i hate it when my attendings sugarcoat things or not give them the whole picture.
http://0.tqn.com/d/webtrends/1/0/K/A/-/-/raisins.jpg
Just shows how much sincerity and empathy you have within you. You are transposing your fears about your father into your subconscious. You must have scratched your forehead during or after the sleep. # 14 is actually # 5. ( 1+4 ) , and 5 is a good number.
Drink a cup of warm milk before you go to sleep. Say ” ok mother!”
Red marks on your forehead? Hmm, the devil usually leaves “666″ if I recall correctly. Maybe you have bedbugs?
On a more serious note, dreams are a way for the brain to process events of the day(s) but I am not sure if dreams are the brain’s way to share great insights with us. I am, however, not too knowledgeable about this dream-analysis subject – a fellow country man of mine by the name of Siegmund Freud was pretty good in this I heard.
Have you checked the Chinese lunar calendar? Maybe it was a blacked out day. Matt, I’m sorry to inform you that the number ’14′ does not sound too well in Cantonese, I’d suggest a blessing by the monk or priest! All the best!
Hmmm…my grandma is also in the hospital right now and i’ve been thinking about what you said a lot. What is must be like to be elderly and confined to a bed when your children and grandchildren go on with life. As nice as it is to visit her, I wonder how horrible it must be to see us coming and going, carrying on with our lives.
@supanamja - hmm…. with my luck, he’ll know martial arts and I’ll wake up with a black eye.
@youngvan - it’s been ages since I’ve been to a church. I don’t usually remember my dreams but this one was strange and left an emotional imprint on me.
@stepaside_loser - it was really strange seeing that 14. I mean, it’s red and on my forehead and it wasn’t a scratch.
@ElusiveWords - Matt, thanks so much for recommending the book The Time Traveler’s Wife. I loved it. It was so unusual a story, but it was so gripping and wonderful. Extremely well written. I did one bad thing though. Like a fool I went and rented that movie. Bad judgement! I broke my own rule of ” never see a movie about the book that you have read!” ’nuff said!
@catstemplar2 - ahh…. that would explain it. I hope the membership dues are not too expensive.
@stevew918 - I rarely remember my dreams. I used to have a pen and paper by my bed but I don’t want to be obsessed with remembering my dreams. This one just left an empty feeling in me.
@Fatcat723 - I might end up with a textbook for psychiatrists. I’m sure I would keep them and dream interpreters quite busy.
@kunhuo42 - hahaha… but hmm… what if you’re right? I mean, you’re scholar and stuff. Let me sleep on this.
@caki730 - I think doctors need a bit more training on communication. It’s a tough and demanding profession. Dealing with the public is not easy. And if you’re dealing with people from many different cultures and beliefs, you need to be sensitive to those too. I think straight talk – being frank, open and honest even when talking about a very difficult subject is something that doctors need to work on. I guess they also need to find the time to know their patient first.
@kev1nccho1 - that was pretty well my reaction.
@ZSA_MD - I only have soy milk this week. But I’ll go get some milk tomorrow night.
@beowulf222 - no 666 or bedbugs. Whew… that would be even worse (bedbugs).
@CurryPuffy - no I don’t have a Chinese calendar. I’ll have to ask J about these things. I have no idea how to get a blessing.
@brooklyn2028 - oh no… I hope things work out for your grandmother. I feel bad too everytime I leave my dad’s place. I see him standing by the door watching me back my car out of the driveway. We wave to each other as I pull out to the street.
@ZSA_MD - you’re very welcome. I came across this review http://www.thestar.com/news/books/article/1135856–katherine-boo-s-behind-the-beautiful-forevers-review about a book called
Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity.
It sounds like a good book.
@ElusiveWords - Ok will get it when I go to St. Louis next week with Saadi. Thanks.
@kunhuo42 - Exactly the same conclusion that I came to as I read this entry.
@christao408 - hahahaha…. I would lose all my readers if I did that. Sometimes I think my anonymity is the only reason people visit this blog.
Sounds like somebody had a near death experience and some sort of epiphany
I think your dad understands that you have your own responsilibities… but I think he would be happy since you’re always thinking about him.
@Devilzgaysianboi - it’s an odd feeling – I think you might have captured the feeling I was trying to convey. I hope he does understand – it’s tough trying to keep everything in balance.
agreed x100