February 26, 2012
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Act of Valor – mini review
J and I caught Act of Valor over the weekend. It was between this movie and the other horror flick The Woman in Black. We got to the theatre just before the 2 movies started. It would be a 5 minute wait for Act of Valor or 20 minutes for The Woman in Black. I’ve always like military action flicks and SEALs so I picked Act of Valor. I was hungry and grabbed a popcorn and a pop before we headed in. This is something I rarely do because they are too expensive and I don’t really drink pop (or soft drinks). The movie supposedly featured real SEALs so I was hoping for something really good.
What a disappointment. I would best describe the movie as an informercial for the military. It had some nice action scenes. But the acting was stiff and the writing / plot was filled with cliches. There were also some scenes didn’t make sense logically. For example in one scene, they showed the bad guys was in this huge yacht that was escorted by 2 smaller boats. The bad guy was enjoying his drink and put the glass down. He then noticed his glass starting to shake. BAM – cut to one explosion (I guess one of the escort boats were got hit) and suddenly we see that the SEALs had just closed in on the yacht. I can’t remember if it was helicopters and/or boats. You mean to tell me that no one noticed the good guys chasing them?
The only act of valor was me holding back my pee. I shouldn’t have ordered the pop. My bladder was about to explode while watching the movie. I’m sure I was walking funny after I got up to leave. I got to the washroom and noticed a lineup had just started for the stalls. There were 2 urinals left. I grabbed the furthest one and the guy behind me grabbed the one beside me. Of course I had my shirt tucked so neatly which made it difficult for me to find my thing. A few more seconds and my pants would have been drenched. As I breath a deep sigh of relief I noticed my urinal was a lot lower than the one beside me. I didn’t care, I just needed to unload. Then I noticed my right leg getting wet. It was the friggin’ backsplash from that plastic thing they put on the bottom of the urinals. I had to adjust my aim. I also noticed the guy beside me was still peeing. I guess he had a large drink too. Then it became competitive. I wondered who could pee longer. It was like one of those contests – you both stare at each other and see who blinks first. (I don’t mean staring at his thing). For the record, he gave up about 2 seconds before I did. I glanced down at my pant legs afterwards but didn’t notice anything. Yay for dark clothing.
I just read a few articles about the movie. It was made to help with recruiting better candidates for their program. Film buffs need not apply.
Comments (18)
I was afraid that’s what it would be.
I hope your bladder is okay after all that! I’m glad you won the pee contest.
Yeah, I heard it was a propaganda movie more so than anything else. It did look intriguing based on the trailer.
I miss the days of blowing apart cig butts in the urinals…..made me feel like a SEAL! LOLOL
I haven’t heard of the movie before, but I’m sure we Australians will hear of it in about a decade’s time when it releases here. It doesn’t sound like my kind of movie, though.
Your pee accident was unfortunate. I hate it when the stream has a mind of its own lol
Competitive peeing ? Never heard of such a thing. When you win what do you get, a urinal screen with a cherry scent ? Its worth the prize. Helps from the splash back.
now whenever i’m at the restroom at the theater i’m going to think about this! competitive peeing! hahahaha
LOL Pee contest but why you gotta say “difficult for me to find my thing” hehe Veer away from the Asian stereotypes man! jk :p
The movie does not appeal to me and your review confirms it. Don’t know how I would fare in Aaron’s contest
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I always drink way too much before the movie starts! The same happened to me when I went to see Mission Impossible 3! I just couldn’t take it and had to get up but luckily no people in the washroom!
For a guy who was not fast enough to take the thing out in time once and did not wear dark pants, i am in no a position to make fun of you. Someday when i get enough courage, maybe just maybe i may share.
@whyzat - hahaha – I have recovered from “winning” the contest.
@Roadlesstaken - the trailer was the highlight.
@Bricker59 - hahaha – some restaurants put ice cubes in the urinals. We would always try to melt as much as possible.
@stepaside_loser - well, the urinal was for kids which is why it was a lot lower. I guess my aim wasn’t properly aligned.
@catstemplar2 - I hate those circular discs they put in the urinals. It always gets in the way.
@kunhuo42 - I’m glad my entries have an impact on you. lol…
@oxyGENE_08 - I had a tshirt and a shirt so there was a bit too much clothing to “part”. I should remember those stereotypes – hahaha.
@brooklyn2028 - I hate those line ups – everyone is just staring at you and waiting for you to finish. eek…
@Fatcat723 - we should have a pissing contest.
@stevew918 - someday – how about tomorrow? Don’t worry Steve, I’ll just make up a story about you and your accident.
Now I know not to go watch Acts of Valor. I did see The Woman in Black. It’s not a bad movie, but I would suggest waiting for it to come out in dvd, it’s not really worth it to watch it in the theaters.
God, you are so funny Mattie. I laughed so hard.
Sorry the movie wasn’t worth the popcorn and the pop.
Ha ha ha… nice laugh to start my morning. Thank you!
I heard the movie got real life Navy Seals in it, good to watch just for the action flicks, I guess? Your going to the toilet part was so realistic, I could picture the whole scene! LOL
Your bladder will be find especially if you seldom drink ‘pop’.
As for The Woman in Black… I personally found the plot a little ridiculous and the movie to be very linear.
I want to make a comment about peeing in the urinals. I always race the person next to me to see who can finish first… I sometimes wonder why certain people take that long and didn’t realize that some people try to see how long they can last.
@icebladz - hmm… I think I’ll skip that too for now.
@ZSA_MD - I hope you didn’t laugh so hard that you peed. hahaha…
@christao408 - well, if I can’t get you coffee, the least I can do is to make you laugh.
@CurryPuffy - omg – you can picture me peeing? *blush*
@Devilzgaysianboi - I guess there are 2 types of races. The ones who can finish first and the ones who can “hold the most”. I’m gonna make sure I don’t race you if I ever do bump into you. hahaha….
it is a giant infomercial for the elite military