April 15, 2012
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Hanging in there
Thank you for your support and encouragement. This Xanga community has always been able to make me smile. It has been a very difficult and tense few weeks at work. It looks like it will continue for quite some time. To sum it up, my manager and I don't get along anymore. I've worked my ass off these past few weeks including weekends. I even skipped dinner with my dad last Sunday. But I did swing by to say hi and picked up some dimsum for him. This weekend was my first Saturday off although I did put in a couple of hours.
But every day is just filled with anxiety. Ever since I was a kid, my stomach would get upset if I was tense and anxious. My stomach still treats me like a kid.
But really, all I can do is just be professional, do my best and stay positive. A change will be good.
I will try to catch up on your updates.
Comments (34)
*hug* You're are truly a professional.
I hope you're keeping warm up there. And make sure you're eating enough
I can understand the anxiety feeling. Unfortunately I've had felt those type of days quite a few times recently...they suck.
It's true that we all have to stay positive, even during those times when things don't quite go our way. You have a great attitude and I hope things turn out for the better for you.
Je te souhaite la meilleure des chances Matt. Ne lâche pas!
@Devilzgaysianboi - thank you for the hug Kevin. I try to be professional although I show my flaws from time to time. I do eat enough - sadly, when I'm under stress I munch a lot. I've also been eating late too. I just have to replace those snacks with fruits, veggies and other healthy food.
@Roadlesstaken - Oh gee... not you too. I hope things will get better for you.
@zionlover - thank you, sometimes I have to remind myself of all the blessings I have. These include the wonderful community here.
@kachino - Merci beaucoup, I won't give up.
Yrah hang in there. You'll get through all these
I get really bad anxiety too.To the point I throw up and constantly shake. I found it really helped to talk about it with someone empathetic. And to enjoy what I could. Like treating myself to my favorite restaurant. Good luck
Matt, I hope your tense and nasty days will be done soon. As for me, I'm taking a few days off now, before the auditors come on by later. God knows what will be happening later
This week will past, but try to peace with your boss. I know is not gonna be easy, mine doesnt end up real good lol. but all the best for you.
I hope you will manage! My (good) thoughts go out to you.
Here's hoping smooth seas come your way
You are right, in mind, to be professional, do your job and take some "me" time - you need it.
Sometimes I feel like work is nothing more than a marathon of humiliation. People are so mean.
you can get through this!
oh no, if your manager's out to get you then that is miserable! just make sure you dot your i's, cross your t's, and keep records of everything so if any question comes up as to whether you didn't do something correctly, you have evidence to support your side of view. hopefully you will get some time off soon, and keep your health up so you don't get sick!
@oxyGENE_08 - thanks Gene, I hope I can get through this relatively unharmed.
@youngvan - whenever I get those anxiety attacks, I just try to breath slowly, calm myself down and use affirmations. I like the idea of treating myself - I deserve it!
@CurryPuffy - I hope so too Gary but I know he is relentless. I have to deal with auditors later this year. I hope you enjoy the time off before they show up at your place.
@vsan79 - I do try to be civil with him whenever I talk to him. I'm not sure about making peace just yet. Maybe in a few weeks when he is in a better mood. I hope things are going well for you Vincent. Thanks for dropping in.
@beowulf222 - thank you, I could use all the good thoughts I can get.
@npr32486 - thanks Nick, I could use some smooth seas right now.
@Fatcat723 - hi Rob, thanks for the advice. It has been difficult trying to find some "me" time. But I know I need it. I took a quick walk at lunch today. It was great just enjoying the warm breeze and the sun.
@secade - I think you're right Colin. When I was in mgm't, I tried to treat people fairly. I probably had my fair share of critics but if anything, I gave most people a break.
@soulsearching10 - and I will. Thanks for dropping by and for the words of encouragement.
@kunhuo42 - I started to document his instructions and will need to be more vigilant about keeping records. I've worked for miserable mgrs before but I haven't gone through anything like this. Thanks for the advice Aaron.
Totally second Aaron's advice. If your boss is being a prick, work to the rules in response, documenting everything. I've had a few bad bosses over the years and have learned that they end up going away eventually, whether because of their own karma or idiocy!
I'd give you a back massage if I were there
Look straight ahead, there's nothing but Blue Sky.....keep positive......!
Matt, i'm sorry things are so stressful right now. i completely understand how difficult it is to work with awful people above you. mine was so suffocating that i had to see a therapist to cope. do you have the same manager for all the work that you do or is it project based? if this isn't temporary, is it possible to see him/her in a different perspective? sounds like you're really busy, but i hope you're able to take even just a little time to take care of yourself and do what keeps you well. ironic that it's harder to do that when you need it the most, huh? hang in there and keep us posted. love to your dad. i feel like i know him just by the way you write about him.
@christao408 - thanks Chris, it's tough to stay motivated. But I will be documenting everything from now on. I cringe whenever he calls me or ask me questions. He already chewed me out in a team meeting. I never did that to any of my staff before.
@Devilzgaysianboi - J gave me a back massage (and scratch) the other day. It was so relaxing. But I thank you Kevin for your offer. (but how will I stay anonymous?)
@agmhkg - hi Angel, I will keep that image of blue sky with me. Thanks!
@caki730 - he is my permanent manager. I know you've had it a lot tougher and you managed to survive and pull through it. If it gets worse, I'll get counseling or some type of support. I will hang in there. Thank you for those nice words of advice and support.
i am so sorry you are going through this anxious and trying time at work. I have to agree with Aaron. Write down all the conversations or the gist of them whenever you have to talk to him. I will be thinking of you Matt. Hope he goes away soon. love,
Zakiah.
sorry to hear of your situation, matt. hang in there, stay positive and try to smile at least once a day. it really helps. hugs.
Ah crap... Hostile environment is never good.
Sorry haven't been as active as much... You know how to reach me Matty!
lots of XOXO!!!
@ZSA_MD - I'm keeping a log of everything to protect myself. Thanks for thinking of me Zakiah, it is very much appreciated.
@rudyhou - thanks Rudy for reminding me to smile at least once a day. I'm fortunate to have a lot of support and you just made me smile.
@yang1815 - hi Andy - I am trying to cope. Thanks for the XOXO (since I'm Chinese, I keep thinking of XO sauce....).
*HUGS* Hope you are doing okay...I'm in a similar boat with a lot of anxiety at work recently. I just hope things will improve for both of us! Nothing worse than waking up to that every day.
@brooklyn2028 - thanks Sheldon, I'm still coping and hanging in there. I've worked for tough managers in the past and he's not any different. I hope things will go better for you as well. I had no idea you are dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety at work. I thought you were doing well. Let me know if I can help in some way.
I saw your advice to Gene, and you have some good ideas for him to consider. I hope you can come to a place of balance in your work life also...
Jesus, that sounds terrible for you, Matt
I wish you didn't have to go through with all this crap. One day, I'd like to read a post from you saying that your work worries have lifted for the most part and that you are riding on a secure and comfortable position. By the way, it seems writing has helped you alleviate the craziness, in the past, so don't hold back 
@ed408 - thank you for those nice words. You know, it's easier to give advice to someone than to follow one's own advice (strange isn't it...). I am trying to find a better balance in my life.
@stepaside_loser - hey Andrew... you're still traveling right? I hope I will write that entry sooner than later. You're right - writing does help me. Lately I've been working a lot of evenings and weekends so I haven't had a lot of time to write. But I hope to find some free time soon. I hope you're safe and sound.
sorry for my lack of updating...am planning a big post soon. still thinking of you over here matt! be well!!!
@jace1982 - I check your tumblr every so often when you're not updating here. I hope things are better for you. I appreciate your support from halfway around the world Jason... *hugs*.
@ElusiveWords - Est-ce que les choses vont mieux maintenant?
@kachino - it was a bit better this week. I still work a lot of long hours (including weekends). He cracked a joke in our team meeting this week which surprised everyone.
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