August 9, 2012
-
I wish...
I wish I could sing in tune. I was driving with the windows down, radio blaring and I'm singing my lungs out to a Coldplay song. When I turn the volume down a bit, I'm aware how bad I really sound. I mean, I could make a living by threatening to sing to someone. "Pay me $20 now or else I'll sing to you." Pigs squealing and long wet farts sound better than my singing. There's no way I could serenade anyone. Well - maybe a drunk moose might pay attention to me.
I wish I could play the guitar or the piano. It would automatically enhance my image of being artsy, romantic and cultured. I can play do re mi with one finger on a piano. Unfortunately I usually get a one finger response for my efforts. But I really think guys that tickle the keyboards or play the guitar are just so cool.
I wish I could dance instead of madly flailing around like someone in a satanic cult ritual. When I hear a song I like I would start to "dance". I am sure if I went on stage to do a sexy dance, I would have to pump my audience full of viagra first. I wouldn't know what to do with the female members of my audience. Maybe I could dance and read 50 Shades of Grey at the same time.
I wish I could blog daily and include videos. I'm thinking of Chris specifically whose videos are well edited, written and filmed. I'm sure it takes a lot of effort just to pull together a few minutes of video. Bravo Chris... take a bow.
I wish I could fight. I can do a mean scowl when I'm walking around at night. But I'm like this small annoying dog that barks very loud but has no bite. Maybe if I'm attacked I'll do a dance, sing to them and bite them.
Comments (39)
I was never able to tell I was a bad singer. It took others telling me.
Surely you underestimate yourself Matt.
Oh when you say "I can play do re mi with one finger on a piano. Unfortunately I usually get a one finger response for my efforts."
Do you know which finger they are responding with ? Sorry, didn't mean to be cruel or nasty.
Make your wishes come true. ^_^ Take classes, learn on the internet, or just put yourself in a situation where you have to learn. I didn't learn to play piano until I went out and invested $400 in a keyboard in order to force myself to play
OK, now make the list of all the stuff you are awesome at, to balance this out!
Oh, thank you for the props. The flip side, though, is you wonder what more productive things I don't accomplish because I'm spending hours editing my videos.
unfortunately i'm not a genie that can grant wishes
Your wishes are granted --oh wait a minute I can't do that but you can
I wish I was as funny a writer as you. I laughed so many times through just this one post. You're so clever and funny!!
@MillySonka - I agree, (almost) anything is possible if you set your heart to it.
"great souls have wills, feeble ones only have wishes" - Chinese proverb
You are good in writing, your blog entries are full of passion, emotion, and touch lots of our hearts here....
Matt's fanclub. Face pic please.
No matter man, you are capable of a ton of other things. And for the record, I thought you said "I wish I could play the guitar on the piano." I was like... umm... huh?! =D But I think your post is serving as an inspiration for my next one. =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zyf0YwUJcqk
#1 & 3 - if only you were Filipino...hehe
#2 - you're not alone...but there are other things our hands can do great. lol
#4 - YOU CAN DO THAT IF YOU WANT...hehe
#5 - I'm pretty sure you can fight.
Ahaha!! I wish all of these things too! - Well except for the last one. I'm a lover, not a fighter! ;)
What is important is that you enjoy signing along with your fav tunes. I think a large majority of us do not have a singing voice, and my singing voice woul dmake dogs howl for miles, but me and the band Heart, Adele and Pink sing together all of the way down the free way into the city.
We all need to look at what we can do and not what we can"t:) I have to rememebr this on a daily basis and it does work to keep me upbeat and enjoying life.
hahaha at least you post something, even if they aren't videos!
even though you can't do any of those things, you are nonetheless a very witty and humorous person (at least in text)... and that takes talent!
You sound like my long lost twin brother, only more Asian. The last time I attempted to dance was a loooong time ago and I was under the influence of alcohol. It made it more fun but not less pathetic. And I only sing when I am tipsy,
right before passing out on the couch.
So, in other words, you're an actor. Only actors say things like that. They act because they can't sing, or dance, or fight. Then they go to an audition where they have to do those things, and they throw a fit in the middle of the audition and walk out. I've seen that happen wayyyyyy too many times.
I am 79, married 56 years to the same woman, and I still cannot do anything right for her.
I wish I was a little but taller...I wish I was a baller! haha
YOu have fantastical writing skills. I wish I could write blogs better. =
My question is....
Why viagra?
HA HA HA HA HA
LOL
I was just singing coldplay and I read your entry.
I then proceeded to turn down the volume needless to say, although I was singing paradise, it sure sounded like hell.
@ANVRSADDAY - I don't know if you meant that to be funny, but my man. I'm laughing hard.
@DonnieMnemonic - I have been accused of having a weird sense of humor.
go to freemastercard.xanga.com
I echo the final paragraph. I wouldn't have a clue as to what to do in a real physical confrontation. It terrifies me, especially since all men in Korea have military training and I suspect that the mostly chance for a brawl is with some drunk Korean assholes (I've had encounters before). I"m thin enough to where I don't present much of a threat other than my height lol
@TheTheologiansCafe - I found out that singers would cover one of their ears when they are singing so they can hear themselves sing. I did that and was freaked out how badly I sounded when I sing.
@ZSA_MD - they weren't telling me I was #1 hahaha... thank you for the rec.
@MillySonka - I'm curious how long it took for you to become relatively proficient at the keyboards?
@ed408 - I sort of started this entry while I was procrastinating (now there's something I'm good at...) Isn't it interesting we spend more time looking at our weaknesses rather than our strengths?
@christao408 - what other things in life are more important than making videos (especially airplane porn) for me?
@maniacsicko - I wish you were a genie instead of a caveman.
@Fatcat723 - argh.... I wish you didn't have to inject reality into this. hahaha...
@AngelzBlog - it does make me feel better although I'm not sure if it makes others feel better. Thank you for visiting and for the rec.
@youngvan - Thank you for the wonderful compliment.
@nepenthium - I like that proverb!
@agmhkg - thanks Angel - that was very nice. Btw - is it my imagination or are your biceps getting bigger?
@KevEats - my face? Oh no.... I've been anonymous for years.
@bengozen - I'll have to check your next entry. The last few ones have been very thought provoking.
@supanamja - I was usually the last one to be picked for basketball. I remember in high school I started fantasizing about dunking but I was too short. I had to lower my fantasy to simply touching the net.
@oxyGENE_08 - on #4, I need to buy a camera that can take videos as well. Hmm... a new DSLR would be too expensive, maybe a decent point and shoot that I can also take with me when I don't want to lug the DSLR. But of course I will have to learn how to edit videos too. #5 - not really... I punched a girl in the shoulder once (I was in Grade 7 or 8); she was a mean girl.
@CuddlyKat - on #5, I think I should have clarified myself a bit better. I meant to say I wish I could defend myself if I got mugged. Thanks for the comment and the rec.
@Grannys_Place - I love Adele's voice! I think the 2 of us should sing outside a dog pound and drive everyone crazy.
@kunhuo42 - aw... thanks Aaron. In real life, I can be very quiet... until I have a couple of beers.
@beowulf222 - hahaha.... you could be right about us being long lost twins (maybe in our past lives?) I'll have to buy you a few beers when we meet.
@angelwingfive - lol... I'm pretty sure I'm not an actor. I would have a lot of difficulty memorizing lines and I'm too self conscious to act. But I've read that some actors are actually quite shy but when they act, they get into the character which allows them to escape their shyness.
@ANVRSADDAY - hahahaha - oh goodness, I can't stop laughing.
@Cucumber_Melonhead - thank you for the compliment, I appreciate it.
@ZenPaper - when I do my sexy dance, my audience will lose "interest" and go soft.
@DonnieMnemonic - HAHAHAHA... I'm sorry to have burst your bubble.
@secade - I should go learn some basic self defense techniques (aside from running like hell...). I hate dealing with drunks - they can be dangerous when their judgment is impaired.
@ElusiveWords - Fair question.
@ElusiveWords - For a new camera with video function, look into the Micro-Four Third realm (think, Olympus Pen-E, etc.). They possess more functions than just point-and-shoot, but are smaller (and less powerful) than DSLR.
Buying me beer? *yuck* The Asian in me wants to get drunk fast and then pass out. Buy me Makgeolli ... I think I am developing an addiction for it.
@ElusiveWords - oh? *takes notes* i'll have to remember that hehehe...
@ElusiveWords - The "point and shoot" cameras now are getting really better but the price is also catching up, just look at the Lumix...well it's a semi-pro-point & shoot to me. haha And why you gotta punch a girl? Bad Matty...lol jk
You're hilarious. You definitely got that working for you.
Everything else you mentioned can be learned up to a certain point
Not too late to start. With so many instruction videos on youtube lately, I am sure you can learn to do all those things without spending a dime on lessons.
i know what you mean. i've always wondered what i'll become if i grew up in a musical family. learning musical notes and playing musical instruments. how romantic i'd become. playing music or singing to the one i'm with. better yet, compose a musical piece solely for the one i'm trying to woe. now, how many people could do that. i'd stand taller than the rest of my competition. sadly, i'm not as worldly and musically gifted as some of those lucky bastards out there. i'll also remain as that geek who can never dance or sing. i would never be the one they call out to join a karaoke or to hit a club. but, no worry, matt, you and me, we could always stand beside chris. for his greatness will shine us both with his popularity and make us equally awesome as that tall white guy with goatee. now, let's bow down to His Majesty. bow. bow. bow.
@ElusiveWords - I guess it's just the angle of the pic......
@Devilzgaysianboi - I think it'll be the end of me if I lose my sense of humour.
@Wangium - I'm tone deaf... this might make guitar lessons a challenge.
@rudyhou - bow to Chris? hahahaha.... yeah, he does a lot of things better than I can. btw - I think you and I are the only Asians who don't go to karoake clubs.
@ElusiveWords - haha.... well, wait a minute. i doubt we are considered as the minority on this matter. as a matter of fact, most of my friends whom i hang out with, don't sing. karaoke place would be the last place you'd find us hang out at.