October 2, 2012
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embarassing…
I was assembling a floor lamp last night. I was on my knees trying to figure out the cryptic instructions and slowly making progress. It was getting uncomfortable so I lowered my hips. If I did it properly, my butt would have been resting on my heels. As I lowered my hips, my ass bumped into something. I thought it was the box and didn’t think too much about it. Then I heard “ssssssssssssss….” and wondered what that noise was. I felt liquid in my butt. I turned around and realized I’ve sat on a can of silicone spray. It sprayed silicone lubricant in my butt. WTF!
I had just used the lubricant on a couple of parts and put the spray can down behind me. When I leaned back, I “sat” on it and it sprayed right through my pants and boxers into you know where. Is this stuff poisonous? I tore off my pants and ran into the shower.
Anyone joking about lube on my butt will be met with a very stern look from me. I am not amused.
Comments (35)
Hmm… so what kind of comments do you want, then?
I guess the reason you didn’t realize it the moment it happened is because you’re used to that feeling~? =]
lol!
That is the funniest story I have heard in awhile… you gotta smile, right !?!
Too bad you didn’t spray your face…it would help with that stern look.
Trying to keep a straight face…
I am laughing so hard. I won’t any funny doctor kind of comment so will recommend the post instead.
@Roadkill_Spatula - supportive, sympathetic… as long as people try to keep a straight face.
@tomatoboi - Franco… you naughty boy!
@slmret - I wasn’t having a “lol” moment at that time.
@ed408 - well, I guess writing is cathartic, hopefully I’ll start to laugh at this soon.
@TutelageOfTheMundane - hee hee… I doubt it. growl…
@npr32486 - I doubt if my stern look would even cause you to blink.
@ZSA_MD - you’re laughing with me right? I will not show my face to the world after this incident. Thanks for the rec though
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OMG, I am LOL. This is funny. You should have called J.
@beowulf222 - growl. I didn’t not want J to get a speeding ticket (and that stuff smells). I just noticed the name of the spray Jig a Loo.
@ElusiveWords - That name and *that* story is hilarious. BTW, isn’t there actually silicone based lube?
hahaha i think that definitely tops the list of anecdotes i’ve heard recently! i’m sure the only thing that got hurt was your ego.
Hahaha this made my night!
I have never a story to match this one! I don’t think anything was harmed but your ego.
LOL you’re great at telling stories. Also, how did it go through your pants?! I thought silicone wasn’t really liquid.
@kunhuo42 - I was actually worried if that spray was an irritant or toxic.
@Foodhog - well, I’m glad it made some people chuckle. Thank you for subscribing and for the rec.
@Fatcat723 - ego is very bruised…
@hilabpartnerxD - it’s like WD40 so it’s liquid. Somehow I sat on it at the right angle and it sprayed for a few seconds until I figured out what the heck was going on.
lol…sorry matt, but that is the funniest story i read so far. can’t really keep a straight face on this one.
i’m glad it wasn’t a snake. i was on the edge of my seat eating popcorn reading the events unfold….and hoping it wasn’t a snake. and it wasn’t. whew. what a thriller.
I’m sorry Matt, but I’m cracking up over this. You can piss on my corn flakes all you want, but I’m not going to stop laughing. Made my day. At least you are well lubricated. Lol.
LOL.
LOL You should’ve took a pic. Hahaha Ooops not sure if people wants to see that. xD
I can picture how the whole scene played out….thus I’m wondering what colour pants you were wearing? That must be a huge spot!
you can call the Poison Control number and find out.
http://www.aapcc.org/dnn/AAPCC/FindLocalPoisonCenters.aspx
Good luck
At least it wasn’t red spray paint!
oh dear…..I know how you’re worried about that…silicone shouldn’t be that harmful…but the other substances inside the can…
@icebladz - wait a minute, I had to spray myself to get you to comment? lol…
@GoForitTrySomethingNew - a snake? omg, I would be screaming! Thanks for visiting.
@Toro69 - just keep a very close eye on your corn flakes from now on.
@KevEats - I’m glad it wasn’t pepper spray.
@oxyGENE_08 - no pictures – omg, I do not want to ruin my lens.
@CurryPuffy - I was wearing a very faded light green khaki shorts and light blue checkered boxers. It went sprayed right through my boxers.
@greatredwoman - I will bookmark that site for future reference – thank you.
@Aloysius_son - or pepper spray.
@agmhkg - I gave my butt a very thorough washing.
I’m sure it isn’t the first time you’ve had lube there.
Don’t know whether to laugh or feel bad about this one! Is it funny to you yet? :p
Ha ha ha… Can’t resist the obvious jokes.
The ability to laugh at oneself is a sign of greatness! Matt, you know how great you are? LOL
Gosh, that story made my day. Sorry for having a laugh at your expense!
@secade - hey… this blog is rated PG13!
@XtremePsionic - ok, I think I can finally chuckle at it.
@christao408 - it was a toss up whether I should write about it or not. Well – at least it’s out of my system now.
@ZenPaper - I guess so… but at that time, I wasn’t laughing at myself (mostly cursing).
@brooklyn2028 - lol… the things I go through to make your day.
LOL omgosh. if only i could be there to witness it. poor matt. lol…
tell your bf to lick it off.
I love this story, very lucky of you I was not around LOL