November 22, 2012
-
Lost & Found
I'm not sure what's going on but I feel lost. That seems to be the best word to describe it. Purposeless, aimless, drifting, stagnant... I guess it's all the same. Maybe it's related to the recent updates from my dad's doctor, combined with work pressures, a growing sense of my mortality and Christmas coming. Sometimes I look back and wished I had done more. I still have more things I want to do. I just don't want to look back a few years from now and see them dried up and discarded.
I think it's time to count my blessings again.
Comments (26)
It's hard to make yourself feel better when you're down, and I'm not a wise old man who could tell you anything smart to make you feel better...
Do remember this, through the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows, the ends of the emotional spectrum always seem to balance out. If you feel terrible now, remember that, one day very soon, the waves of the highs will come, just as strongly as the lows you feel right now.
It's okay to feel purposeless for a while, just keep doing the things which might seem pointlessly positive for now. Because down the road, whatever pointless, hopeless things you did today might mean something.
I hope you find yourself soon.
It must be going around; I have a touch of it, too. Hang in there!
Add me to the list too. I blame the Christmas Season. I know for most it is an exciting time of the year but for many it is a season of depression and getting lost somewhere outside the celebrations going on.
It's that feeling at the end of the year. The days are shorter, colder, and darker, it makes a person glum. Cheer up you are not alone. I know what it feels like to get that gloomy outlook. HUGS!
We all have those moments. Anyway, never too late to do all the things you want
Even while you're drifting, take comfort in knowing that you've been heard. I look forward to reading the "& Found" part of this entry.
Best wishes to your father.
Time to take a break Matt? or follow what ^ he said
Just like a toddler, start taking the small steps to do the things that you need to do, so that next year you don't feel like you wasted this part of the year. All the best Matt. Hang in there. Or come and visit me. My grand kids will make you feel like you are on top of the world.
Aww....it's the time of the year approaching year's end, plus winter solstice, I suppose? Try some retail therapy, that may work a little.
@XtremePsionic - Thanks Lucas - I appreciate the wise words of encouragement.
@beowulf222 - I hope I'll find myself soon Nick. I just dread the Xmas season - it can get depressing (as odd as that may sound).
@christao408 - You too? I wonder if you're just readjusting after your recent trip. I think I'll pull through.
@Fatcat723 - there are Christmas lights on and Christmas songs on the radio - it's dreadful.
@Ikwa - I should look into that light therapy to brighten up these dull days. Thank you for the hug.
@oxyGENE_08 - You're right Gene, I just got to find my passion again.
@TutelageOfTheMundane - thank you - I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
@kachino - we're short staffed right now at work and will be for the next few months. I've been working some long hours lately. I do need a bit of a break.
@ZSA_MD - thanks for reminding me to take those small steps. It's funny, when I get into these moods - I don't even feel like washing the dishes and everything piles up in the sink. Well - the sink is now clear and clean. Aside from not being able to sleep - I'm sort of ready for tomorrow (I mean today).
@CurryPuffy - I need a 370Z!
it's that damn holiday season coming up. i too starting to sense the feel of not having achieved enough this year.
@ElusiveWords - It's a whole lot bigger than that, I'm afraid.
@rudyhou - oh no, not you too.
@christao408 - well - I hope things work out for both of us. *hugs*
@ElusiveWords - You don't need to do more ... you need to do what's important!
I know you guys already had yours, but Happy Thanksgiving
Feel found.
Today is the anniversary of my grandmother's death... it always leaves me drifting as well.
Today is the anniversary of my grandmother's death... it always leaves me drifting as well.
Hope things turn around, Matt.
@CareyGLY - thanks Carey, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. It's always good to see you drop by.
@secade - *hugs*... my mom's anniversary is coming up as well. Oh man - I really miss her.
@stepaside_loser - thanks Andrew - how come you're not posting anymore?
Sorry to hear that man. I guess the only prescription is change, not just any change but the kind of change that you yourself can initiate. It's sort of better to make things change instead of react to things that happen to you, you know?
@ElusiveWords - A few reasons, I think, Matt. For one, I'm being more careful about what I post now because I've shown a few people, that I know of, my blog. I guess I'm more cautious now because of that. Secondly, I think I want to change the way I write. Thirdly, I am trying to sort things out in my life - but, I guess, that's always been the case.
@supanamja - thanks for the suggestion - I totally understand what you're saying. There are a few things I need to do.
@stepaside_loser - ah - your anonymity is slowly dissolving. You can always privatize your entries or start another blog somewhere. Good luck with sorting things in your life - that usually is not easy. Feel free to bounce things off me if you wish. Take care.
Even though things seem cold now... it'll warm up soon enough.
I wish the best for you and your dad
Don't worry, help is on the way.
By the way, what's my compensation if I found you?
@Wangium - it's negotiable (hee hee...)
@Devilzgaysianboi - thanks Kevin, I appreciate that.