February 5, 2013
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I'm Not Real
My real world and virtual world are clashing. The bonds and relationships of my virtual world don't translate well into the real world. It's odd. I guess that's what happens when I keep the 2 worlds separate. Although the feelings may be real - the relationships formed don't survive in the real world. It's a bit like smoke - you can see it, smell it but you can't hold on to it.
I have no idea why this is bothering me right now when I need to sleep. It's triggered something deep in me that I can't get a handle on just yet.
Maybe my mind is so jumbled up from work I can't think straight anymore.
Comments (22)
If your hands are tiny enough you can hold smoke...or maybe your just holding the pieces that make smoke smoke and not the smoke itself.
Still, I'm left to wonder: what about your virtual world doesn't work in the real one?
Yeah maybe you just need to rest. Tomorrow will be a better day =)
I think you are just burned out. Maybe take a couple of days off and do something you enjoy for a change?
Working too hard
Virtual world? Were you on the Internet too long? :)
Are you referring to us Xangans? Or is there another fabulous online community that you're a part of?
You sound very stressed, burn out and tired.
If the virtual world isn't enough to sustain you in real life maybe if the two worlds meet it'll make things better.
Maybe take some time out.
You mean the Internet is not real? :-O Shocking!
This is a problem most ppl are having with the Net...is it real or not? My two bits.....They are one and the same, just a lot of ppl fighting that definition and it messes things up.
yeah, i've also come to believe they don't translate well for the most part. but i was also thinking the other night that alot of real world bonds don't translate well in the long term either. maybe it's because we give more weight of practicality to the real world bond and that keeps that fire going rather than the internet bond where we simply assume that it can keep going therefore we don't give it any sort of incubation or safety net.
I know, this is a run on sentence. I'm sorry, i was afraid I'd lose my train of thought! =/ hope you are doing better!
Sleep - maybe some meditation to clear your mind. Whatever you do - do not make the computer the last thing before bedtime. I am told it awakes the mind and sleep becomes more difficult.
Sleep.
A similar thing has happened to me recently. With potential relationships, I often form that "perfect scenario" in my head (the virtual/fantasy world). And often times, I seem to get lost in the fantasy world instead of maintaining my footing in the real world. When the relationship doesn't turn out the way I'd imagined and wanted it to, I end up hurting myself more (figuratively). It's a habit that I need to change.
It is easier for me. I have no real life friends. All of my friends are in Xanga.
Sorry to be the devil's advocate here. My real life bonds are in great shape....more or less. Get some rest Mattie; get out of Toronto for a couple of days and enjoy being with yourself.
I'm reading this and a big part of me just wants to tell you to just burn all your relationships and start over. Terrible advice but fun to think about.
So sex wasn't good once you met in person?
Was Sheldon bad in bed?So many questions! >;)
For some reason, when you said 'the real world and the virtual world are clashing...' I thought you meant that you were finally meeting Xangans left and right now. Got my hopes up
@Wangium - ai ya Jason.... you're gonna get me into big trouble with these comments.
@TutelageOfTheMundane - it's a lot easier to make friends in the virtual world. I think we just strip away the facade and connect on a more emotional level at first. But I think the bonds of friendship are a lot harder to maintain.
@Kliente2 - @Toro69 - @BenelliMan - you all have a point. I was very tired when I wrote this. I still am recovering from a cold and I think my body is telling me to slow down.
@CurryPuffy - I don't know Gary, I am confused about the level of friendship between the real world and the virtual world. As an example, we've known each other for a long time now. There's a strong sense of respect and trust between the 2 of us. But we've only really scratched the surface & there's still a lot about each other we don't know. I have some weird habits...
@stepaside_loser - maybe the 2 worlds need to meet. I sometimes wonder what would happen. I am tired and burnt out from work because we're so short staffed right now. Part of the reason that I didn't respond to these comments is that I'm still confused and conflicted. Maybe I need to borrow your counselor. I appreciate you being here Andrew.
@beowulf222 - but it feels so real Nick. It really does.
@ElusiveWords - Please, don't disturb my Matrix. LOL
@Teh_Redfoe - well my mind is really messed up and caught between the 2 worlds.
@l0311879l - you know what Michael, it's probably easier for me to start and maintain virtual friends (ie. in Xanga) than it is in real life. Maybe it's easier for me to open up and share. In the real world, it's a lot harder to do that.
@Fatcat723 - I am actually writing this on my bed. I do take my laptop w/ me to the bedroom. I use it mainly to read a bit but mostly to play some relaxing noise (waves, rain). I try not to do too much reading on my laptop before bedtime. I know the brightness of the monitor can interfere with sleep.
@ascultafili - I suffer from insomnia.
@laytexduckie - you pretty well nailed what I wanted to say.
@HUMOR_ME_NOW - it's beginning to feel like that for me too.
@ZSA_MD - it's hard for me to get out of the city right now. There's just too many things that are holding me back.
@supanamja - you might have a point.
@Devilzgaysianboi - there are times when I do want to reach out to my Xanga friends. But I think a lot of them will be surprised and maybe disappointed in me.