April 28, 2013
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Good Memories Helps the Apptetite
Dad wasn’t in a great mood when I picked him up for dinner. We had originally intended to go to my brother’s place to celebrate someone’s birthday. But my sister told me dad didn’t want to go because there would be too many people there. As dad was putting on his socks, I noticed it had a large hole in the heel. He began to complain about it while I quickly went downstairs to the dryer. I found a new pair and also got him to put on some moisturizer for his feet as the skin was very dry. He grumbled about my fussiness but I got what I wanted. I help him with his jacket and shoes and head out. As we slowly made our way to my car, Dad thought I left my car running. I told him it was a motorcycle revving nearby. He paused to listen to the rumbling engine.
As we drove away, I asked him about the Harley Davidson he used to own. He retold me the tales of his Harley and how he installed a siren on it. His mood improved as he recalled those good old days. I could picture him reminiscing about riding with his friends. The siren was loud he recalled. He would turn it on so that cars would move out of his way. I asked him how many horsepower his bike had. He didn’t remember but he told me speed wasn’t a problem. He always rode in the front of his pack.
He struggled to remember his friend’s name who gave him some tips on how to handle the bike. All he could remember was that his friends was a policeman. “I had some good times. I can’t complain about those days.” I told him about a show about pickers who search and collect old stuff. Anything Harley was always good – including a bike frame, gas tank etc… As I drove to the highway, the light turned red. Dad smacked his hand. I’m sure he was imagining his old Harley flying through the intersection. “Wasn’t your bike heavy?” I asked while we were waiting for the green light.
“Not if you know how to handle the bike. It wasn’t a problem at all.” I could feel his pride. We soon hit the highway and I floored it to pass some cars. He didn’t complain as my VTEC screamed. I was careful with my precious cargo and settled into a nice leisurely pace to the restaurant.
We ordered 3 dishes and he ate quite a bit. Since I’m a fast eater, I finish my dinner. I watch in contentment as he slowly ate. When he put away the small bowl of dessert, he groaned about how full he was. I tell him “You have a good appetite tonight.” He nodded. As we leave, I hold on to him as we slowly weaved our way to the door.
It’s not easy to put my dad in a positive frame of mind. Tonight it worked. Tomorrow – who knows. But I’m glad he ate well tonight and I’m also glad he remembered his Harley.
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It’s past 2:30 AM and I can’t sleep. I’m didn’t check the grammar or do any editing with this post. So pardon any errors. I just hope sleep will soon visit me.
Comments (19)
That was a good read. Reminiscing often brings back nostalgic memories and I’m glad it helped your dad to feel better, even just for a day.
I enjoy this, you are a great son! My mom has been a good mood lately ever since she got over the surgery. I have to watch out what I ordered as she polished off everything. She is staying at an elderly day care so she has been eating “hospital-style” of food, so when I took her out to restaurants for dim sum, curry, dumpling, steam chicken, she licked the plates.
Sleep tight, Matt.
Eat slower it not only helps with the digestion but helps with the sleep at night
You are indeed a good son.
Memories do make the days easier for the elderly and those who love them.
I enjoyed the post. You are indeed a good son showing respect, patience and love for your dad.
This is very sweet! Wishing the best days ahead for you and your dad
@KevEats - thanks for the comments and for the rec Kevin. Btw, I hope your dad is feeling better.
@stevew918 - I hope your mom will continue to improve. Maybe you can arrange to have some meals delivered to her from a restaurant. I’m sure there are some logistic problems but maybe the home might be ok with it. Thanks for the rec too.
@Nostra_Damus - ”eat slower” – you sound like my dad.
@beowulf222 - I try Nick but sometimes I think I let him down by not spending enough time with him.
@Grannys_Place - yes it does, I try to avoid the bad memories. Sometimes I have to plan what I want to talk to him about just so I don’t bring up some bad memories.
@Fatcat723 - I’m glad you liked the post Rob. It was just something I wrote in bed while trying to sleep. I guess he was on my mind.
@youngvan - thank you, I appreciate the warm wishes.
@ElusiveWords - Thanks so much Matt. He is!
This was a smiley post Matt. I smiled all the way through. Who cares about grammar or typos, when you are having such a grand time. Delighted that he had such good appetite and was able to reminisce about his younger days. Thank you for posting this.
@ElusiveWords - Well, from a strictly rational point of view I think our generation is going through a shift. In previous centuries, children didn’t have to take care of their ailing parents for extended periods. Yes, children were a way for parents to make ends meet, but people died much younger and didn’t go through cancer, dementia, etc. for very long. That all said, the emotional side in me (yes, I have a small one) understand your feelings. The moment I leave home after my annual trip back, I feel I am abandoning my parents; yet, after just two hours of arriving, I have had it with them. *haha* So, to sum it up, I think you are doing a fine job.
@ZSA_MD - thanks for the kind words and for the rec. I’m glad it made you smile. I really did write this in bed hoping to go to sleep. But I wanted to finish this entry as it was just wanted to be written.
@beowulf222 - I think that’s part of the guilt for me. My sister lives with him and has to “put up” with a lot of the eldercare issues. I’m sort of like a part time child in a lot of ways.
Sounds like a good evening. P.S. Eat slower.
Matt, you did well in taking care of dad. The best I can do is to call long distance to offer some form of comfort and care to my parents.
You kind of have to take each day, one at a time, right? Good that he was able to recall some fond memories and had a hearty appetite. Let’s hope there are plenty more days like that.
Talking with my father on Sunday, I recalled that it won’t be too long before I have to start taking care of my parents. Whereas it never seemed like they would really get old, I’m increasingly aware that that point has arrived.
This is really sweet, Matt. Really, really sweet. I really enjoyed it & kudos to you, mate. Brilliant share and I’m so proud of you.
Do you and your siblings take turns taking your dad out?
@CurryPuffy - it’s difficult for you, your brother and others like you (eg. Steve). I wonder if there are other services your parents can use for eldercare support?
@christao408 - yes, one day at a time. I’m there tomorrow as my sister is traveling on business. But I hear he has some tummy problems.
@stepaside_loser - thanks Andrew, I appreciate the kind words and the rec as well.
@Wangium - he lives with my sister (who doesn’t drive). My brother helps out (taking him to bookstore, chores around the house & driving him to appointments).
You’re such a great son…
It’s always the little things that go unnoticed that counts the most