May 8, 2013
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Deep Sigh
I took a walk after work to get some air. I thought the walk would brighten my mood a bit but it didn’t. I dropped a letter in the mailbox. Everyone on the street seemed to have a specific place to go. The restaurants were slowly filling up. The sport bar was getting busy for tonight’s hockey game. I did a bit of window shopping, looking at eye glasses, clothes, shoes and food. I notice a lot more Asian guys in my neighbourhood now… young, good looking and stylish. One walked past me and I could smell his Gatsby hair gel. But my mind wasn’t on eye candies tonight.
I went to the park and sat down on a bench. The air was getting cool but still comfortable. I thought about work. I took out my camera and felt sad that I haven’t played with it for some time. I debated going to a coffee shop to read. But I already have insomnia and even the smell of coffee will keep me up. I looked at a group of women exercising in the park. Maybe I should join them and get in shape. The evening air started to get a bit colder. Should I pick up some food, drop in for a quick bite or should I cook? I past a few restaurants. I didn’t feel like spending any money tonight. I decided to go home instead.
On my way, I past by the mailbox again. The letter I dropped off was for the renewal of my dad’s lawn care service. He got very worked up on the weekend about the dandelions and the length of the grass. There was some dandelions but it wasn’t the end of the world. When I got home on Sunday, I found the renewal form from the lawncare people in my dad’s pile of letters that I keep for him. I called them on Monday and left a message. They called back and said they are already booked for the summer but will squeeze my dad in because he is a previous customer. I called my dad to let him know. He sounded pleased. The next day my sister emailed me. Dad is very agitated about the lawn. My dad kept trying to phone me but I was in meetings. I called him back. “The dandelions have now covered the front lawn. Can they send someone over now to pluck them out?” I called the lawn service back again. No they don’t pick out dandelions. But I added the service for fertilizing and weed control. I called my dad back today. He sounded stressed out. “When will they show up? The grass is very long!” I told him they are trying to squeeze him in as they are booked up for the summer already. “What do you mean squeeze me in? When will they do that?” I told him not to worry but they will show up. He grumbled and muttered something.
So this is my dad’s world. Instead of worrying about his health, his swollen feet or his hygiene, he worries about the front lawn. Deep sigh. I went back to my condo, cooked some scrambled eggs for dinner and went back to work. Maybe I’ll feel useful.
Comments (27)
You were being useful man.
Poor dad! He must have been such a good groundskeeper in his younger days. Dandelions bother us a lot too. I think we have a manicured lawn, but our neighbor let his lawn go to dogs it seemed. There were so many dandelions in the yard. I knew I was going to talk to him about it one of these days if he didn’t take care of it, because I didn’t want my yard to get over run by his weeds. I am so bad. But he took care of it today. Mowed his yard.
Hope the lawn service guys will get to dad’s place soon. Do you think there would be a high school student who would go over and mow his yard every couple of weeks or so? That might help his mood too.
Maybe worrying about such petty things keeps his mind off the more serious issues. Maybe it is a sign of aging. Anyway … good job on your side.
@BenelliMan - well, we got to stay positive.
@supanamja - thanks, appreciate the supportive words.
@ZSA_MD - he had this almost OCD habit of picking up dead leaves, twigs, dead grass from the lawn. I hope the lawn guys will come over soon. Thank you for the rec.
@beowulf222 - you have a point, I didn’t consider that.
You did great. What I think is that your dad rather focus on other stuff for his own sanity, after all whatever makes us happy keep us in a positive mood =)
You have patience…! I would have told my dad to shut it and go walk around and find a neighbourhood kid who needed the extra cash
@Kliente2 - I should have figured that out. I think he goes nuts about it because it’s something he should be able to “control”. I think I’ll spend a bit of time weeding for him this weekend. Otherwise I’ll go nuts.
@XtremePsionic - I get the patience from my mom. But I am not always a patient guy.
I was gonna say what Beowulf222 was gonna say
poo… he’s so fast, like a ninja
Are you okay? I worry about how you’re doing sometimes and hope everything is alright
The old landlady i stayed with when i was in college dug up the dandelion on her front lawn and mixed them in her salad. Maybe your dad can tell people they are welcomed to dig up dandelion at his place as a self help salad service. Just kidding of course. It seems your dad can be quite high maintenace, maybe he just want attention. At least he thinks of you.
You’ve done what you could — but remember that as people get older or more infirm, their world narrows and they worry about the smaller things because they can’t get their hands around the bigger ones. It’s not easy, but your patience will carry your through. Hang in there!
I don’t blame your father because you and him are on the same wave length though your dad sees his priorities different. Its all about personal care and how it reflects out to the outside world. You window shop, buy clothes and shoes, your dad, well, his image is all about his lawn. He wants to look like a pretty boy in the neighborhood with a kept garden, you on the other hand, want those new threads. Its all about striking the pose…
My dad used to become fixated on certain things too, his orchids and his toy boats. But don’t we all? I know I do. I’ll go ALL day without eating or even getting up to go to bathroom when I become fixated on something and I’ll spend hours and hours and hours researching it. Don’t you do the same for work? We just pick our poisons. But I think it’s a good sign. He cares about it
Sounds like my mum and dad as they aged. They wanted everything outside to look great. I guess that was about all they could control for sure. Hang in there good son that you are!
Just reading this event makes me feel tired and frustrated. It’s nice that you have a heart big enough to take care of your father. Lot of people doesn’t have the heart to want to take care of their elders.
I’ve been there, Matt. Realistically, you are better off with him fussing about the lawn than him contemplating his own demise. You absolutely have to find some time for yourself. I know you are trying to save the world, but you can’t save anyone if you run yourself into the ground. Take care, my friend. If there is any way I can help, I’m here for you.
If you think Michael`s story is unbelievable,, 4 weaks-ago my friends sister also made $6075 grafting a thirteen hour week from there apartment and the’re best friend’s aunt`s neighbour did this for eight months and earnt more than $6075 part time from there labtop. apply the advice available at this link, http://www.rev24.com
Haha I literally had that same situation with my dad yesterday.
Our dads are old and are thinking way differently. We have to continue to have patience and I believe eventually we’ll look back and say “now I get it” when we reach their age.
Hey, I might be going to Toronto pride this year. Will you be around?
scramble eggs for dinner? matt, you need something more substantial than that. as for your dad, i think it’s normal when people with health problems worry about other things that are less important. that way, it makes them forget about their health issues for a while. if i were to live there, i’d gladly help you and your dad with his lawn.
@Devilzgaysianboi - Nick the ninja! I’m doing still doing ok Kevin, thank you for asking.
@stevew918 - I think he has a bit of ocd with the lawn. My sister reminded me that his favorite sitting spot is in the living room and he just wants the a neatly manicured lawn. And as others have mentioned, it probably keeps his mind off his health issues too.
@slmret - that’s pretty good insight and one that I didn’t consider, thank you!
@Nostra_Damus - his favorite seat in the house does overlook the front and the overgrown lawn is now pretty messy compared to his neighbours.
@youngvan - I guess it is better than not caring and letting things get out of control. I should have thought of that.
@Fatcat723 - he’s always been fussy about his lawn. He used to spend hours raking, sweeping and hand picking dead leaves / grass / twigs from the lawn. You’re right about being able to find things he can control, I didn’t realize how important that is.
@KevEats - thanks for the compliment Kevin, I just want to do what I can. I know he took care of his mom years ago.
@Toro69 - that’s so true Fred, the lawn and other things will keep him busy. I still work the long hours but I try not to do it every night. The mgm’t pressure doesn’t help though. I always appreciate the support.
@xx_smilez - that’s an odd coincidence… I hope you had better results than me. Thanks for dropping in.
@oxyGENE_08 - I’ll probably still be on Xanga when I’m his age. (I hope it’ll still be around)
@Wangium - I’m around but my availability depends on my dad.
@rudyhou - appreciate the offer Rudy. You’re right that this will take things off his mind, maybe I should just tell the lawn service not to show up every week so my dad has something to complain about.
You do sound like you have a bit too much weight on your shoulders. I only hear you mentioned and what you do for your dad and never what your siblings or anyone else does. You really are an example for me and how I should treat my parents. I can only hope that someone will treat you with the same love, kindness and patience as you do your dad – now and when you’re his age.
@stepaside_loser - yeah, I don’t mention my sister and brother often. I’m not sure about being an example for you. I only write about the “good” things I do. After all, it’s my blog.
Darn dandelions, they put down a deep tap root so that if you don’t remove enough then they tend to grow back in the same spot.
Also the seeds are easy to blow and spread around. The first thing to do is get a plastic bag and pick all the dandelion ripe flower seedballs and put them where they can’t spread. If you have wind then start at where the wind first blows and follow the dandelion trail to where the wind stops.
They also have the weedkiller spray but it leaves the dead dandelions in the wake that needs to be picked over after a few days.Yeah putting a bit of herbicide here and there reduces the amount of stoop labor needed to be done.
@PPhilip - they banned a lot of these sprays here. I’ve seen some lawns in the neighbourhood that are just covered in dandelions.