July 26, 2013
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Another Bend in the River
It is hard to keep an elderly man hopeful and optimistic in a hospital. My brother and sister continue our “shifts” so that there’s always someone with dad and to answer any medical questions. He finally sat up in a chair one day and shuffled 5 steps yesterday. It exhausted him completely. He can’t stand the hospital food so we have to always bring in food. There’s so much that can go wrong with a body when it is bedridden. We cut his food up, feed him and wonder what will happen next. The staff here are patient when they change him. We sometimes help when they are short staffed as it needs two people.
I’m starting to see the flow of routine in the hospital. I know which nurses are better and which attendants are more patient. I can sense worry and tension with other visitors. When someone is scared and frustrated, they mask it with angry and sharp words. You have to see through that. As much as I’m fascinated with the rhythm and the inner goings of a hospital, I have no desire to stay here longer than necessary. I have no idea when dad will be released.
When I picked up some take out food for dad late last night, the restaurant had about 5 tables. 1 large table filled with kids and adults all happy and celebrating loudly. Another table of 4 had a very quiet birthday dinner. The singing of Happy Birthday sounded like a whisper. Another small table with twenty somethings eating quietly but animatedly. Conversations flowed back and forth. No one had a smartphone out. 4 young people then walked in, all in black. No one was smiling, they just wanted to quiet their hunger. They were all twenty somethings and maybe it was their first time dealing with death.
The manager called me and gave me my food along with best wishes for my dad. I walked out into the night with a mixture questions, worries, fears and hope.
Comments (21)
To me,the key word is hope. Let us all hope dad will get better and stronger soon.
@stevew918 - thanks Steve, much appreciated.
Hope and faith for sure Matt! and one day at a time.
Sounds like you are doing all you can under the circumstances. Hang in there, Matt. Thoughts and prayers.
Your dad remains in my thoughts!
This is tough Matt. Hang in there. Hopefully your dad will get better and be out of the hospital soon!
We’re all still praying! And we have hope! Just take one day at a time…I know that helped me when I was where you are. I just tried to handle today.HUGS
as long as there is hope, there is courage and perseverance. I am thinking of you and your dad every day in my prayers Matt. Tough situations like these bring out the best (and sometimes the worse) in the family members. Every day is a new day and may God in His Infinite Love and Wisdom, give all of you the courage and strength that you need. Love and hugs.
we all have you in our thoughts here matt. just take it one step at a time man
For m,any years I had a dim view of hospitals and never liked to go into one. That came from my time in the infantry in Vietnam and the many times I would go visit the guys from my company who were badly wounded. Recently, my wife was hospitalized for 8 days. She has an upbeat spirit that the docs, nurses, and orderlies all loved to visit her. She made the place seem magical. So I guess any situation can be influenced by what we bring to it. God bless you, your sister, and your Dad.
It sounds like he raised a good kid.
Thanks for sharing, Matt. These moments feel so intimate. What rakkaray said sounded interesting – “any situation can be influenced by what we bring to it.” I also hope you have time off work during this.
one day at a time
Hospitals are a fascinating place to people watch but, agreed, not a place you really want to spend in more time at than necessary.Continuing to keep you, your dad, and your family in mind. Hoping that he is feeling better and released soon.
*hug* I hope you’re doing well too.It’s a hard time for everyone, but I hope you’re looking out after yourself as wellb
I’ll pray for your dad to get out of the hospital ASAP. When I think about this situation regarding what my parents may go through, I may have to move back to HKG eventually. *hugs*
My thoughts are with you and your family…I agree, your dad did a good job in raising you – stay strong.
Siblings kept Dad at home until the end. But he was largely incapacitated, in regular discomfort and pain. It was a huge task to care for him and not without costs (various kinds). Remember to factor your own needs into decisionmaking too, especially if improvement looks dim.
@Fatcat723 - oh Rob, everyday, there’s some sort of setback. It’s one day at a time…@Toro69 - thank you Fred, we’re hanging in there but everyone is tired. @slmret - thank you, appreciate it.@XtremePsionic - thanks Lucas, we’re taking it day by day.@adamswomanback - thank you, appreciate the prayers.@ZSA_MD - thank you Zakiah, we’ll need all the prayers. He’s still very weak and is now coughing a lot.@l0311879l - thanks Michael, yeah – we’re trying to take it one day at a time to keep our sanity. It’s just so hard seeing him so weak. @RakkaRay - I like that upbeat approach. Thank you for visiting and for your support. @whyzat - I think so too, thanks! @stepaside_loser - I like what he said too. As for time off from work, I do check my emails but I think I’ll be away for a longer period of time which no one will like. How is life treating you?@Texasjillcarmel - yes, the one day at a time approach helps my sanity.@christao408 - thank you Chris, I appreciate your support.@Devilzgaysianboi - it’s not easy to look after myself right now. It’s just the 3 of us sharing shifts. We’re trying to hire some people in to help. Thanks for thinking of me Kev.@CurryPuffy - thank you Gary. Whatever move you make, I hope you do a lot of preparation and research now. It’s just so unpredictable when these will come.
@n_e_i_l - the costs worry me, we’re of modest means. I will try to keep my own needs in mind – thank you for the input and advise.
yes, hope. it’s best to remain positive for there IS hope. our attitude and inner mood reflect what gets projected out to those around us. your dad needs a positive aura around him and if he can’t get it from anyone else, at least he can get one from you.