I’m still around although I haven’t been updating.  Work has pretty much overwhelmed me.  In addition to this, I’m looking for another job internally.  It’s never easy but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.  It also doesn’t help when my manager and I don’t have a trusting relationship anymore.  The only consolation is that he’s located in a different city so I don’t have to see him when I’m at work. 

My bf had a bbq last weekend.  He prepped the food and someone else assembled the brand new bbq and did the grilling.  I simply ate and played with the kids.  The baby let me feed him and drank water out of a cup while I held it.  At first, I didn’t want to tilt the cup too much.  When he didn’t get any water, he looked at me, turned his palms up and shrug his shoulders as if to say “where’s the water?”   It was too cute. 

The older kids played hide and seek. One of them tried to hide behind me as I sat on the couch.  He crawled behind the cushions and hoped that his sister wouldn’t notice.  She did.  When it was his turn to be “it, I watched him face the wall as he counted out while the others ran frantically around to hide.  He would count “1, 2, 3, 4, *peek*, 5, 6, 7, *peek*, ….”   I guess I did that too when I was a kid. 

So moments like this go a long way to cheer me up.  My bf also is getting noticed at work for his contributions and hard work so that’s pretty awesome and it makes me happy. 

Here’s some stuff that also makes me happy – food porn:
Ribs – my sister made these. 

Steamed chicken, the veggies were simply steamed / boiled.  I made the ginger, spring onions, salt in hot oil to accompany the chicken.  The veggies had some sesame seed oil and oyster sauce.  It’s simple and easy.

Green tea Kit Kat.  I saw it at the Chinese supermarket.  It was ok. 

My work can be overwhelming and while I expect peaks and
valleys, lately I haven’t seen any valleys. 
I was talking with one of my colleagues the other day about a project he
had worked on.  It was extremely time
consuming and I naively assumed his manager gave him extra time to work on
it.   He told me that wasn’t the case and he worked
a lot of long hours for many months while maintaining his regular
workload.   I was really hoping that wasn’t the case as I’ve
been asked to do something similar in my unit. 
My manager for some reason doesn’t feel our team is working hard
enough.  He also sent a scathing note to
everyone exhorting us to work even harder to meet our deadlines.  I’m used to working long hours but even
someone like me has limits. 

But I’m surprisingly relaxed this weekend.  Why?  It’s
because of my bf and some quality time with the kids from his extended family.  There were two huge dinners.  I was amazed how much the kids can eat.  One “trick” that they have is to immediately
order some food for the kids as soon as they sit down.  Once the food arrives they are immediately
preoccupied with eating and settle down. 

As I was chatting with the parents last night, the
conversation somehow drifted into diaper accidents.   I
couldn’t believe how attuned the parents are to the warning signs and facial
expressions (not to mention the smell I guess).   One child would go off to the
corner for some privacy.  This was a
signal that something was going to happen. 
Another one would grab on to the arm of a chair, stand bowlegged and
grimace.  One parent moaned about an
accident getting worse because the kid sat down afterwards.   A
worried look and a soft cry could signal a full diaper getting filled.  I was roaring with laughter.   It was the perfect antidote to a long and grueling week.

On that note, I’ll call it a night.  I still have laundry and some work to catch
up on.  

Work has been a huge pain lately.  There are days when I just want to chuck it all.  I sometimes wonder if all these long hours and being under the gun is worth it.   It hasn’t been a great year despite the positive feedback from my peers.  I wonder if they know how discouraged I can get sometimes.  Thankfully, my bf has been there to help me throughout the year.

On another note, today would have been my mom’s birthday.  I miss her so much.  I think about her a lot.  I wasn’t in the hospital room when she passed away.  My brother and I were at the funeral home making plans when the call came.  When I saw my brother’s face, I knew what had happened.  It’s still hard for me to relive those memories.  But life goes on and we have to move forward. 

I’m off to work and I know it’ll be another long day.  It’s on days like these when I need to stop and make sure I maintain a more positive outlook and attitude.