September 29, 2009
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Mirror mirror on the wall...
Ahh... the blank Weblog Entry page. So what should I write about today?
You know, I've never been called good looking or handsome or even a twink. I don't have that movie star looks nor do I look like those drop dead Korean hunks that you see in those dramas. Sometimes I wonder if there are any average looking guys in Korea. I'm just kinda average looking... at best. Most of the time, I don't really think about my looks. Then there are those times when you're looking at yourself in the mirror after you shower. Little by little, you notice all these flaws and start to get a bit self conscious. I sometimes wonder if anyone else feels like this. I also wonder if guys that are good looking know that they are good looking? I'm sure you do... unless you're really modest about it.
I know I don't look like a monster. Although if you saw a picture of me in my nursery school, you would just see a dorky looking kid with a big head. I remember someone telling me that a big head means I'm smart. Hmm.... I guess she didn't know who Frankenstein was.
Changing the subject.... on the computer front, I'm leaning towards a Mac, one of their laptops. Now I can imagine myself looking cool in a coffee shop. So if you see an average looking guy in a coffee shop, take a closer look. Does he have a puzzled look? Is he reading "Macs for Dummies" or "How to Improve your Sex Life with a Mac!"- go up and ask "Are you Matt?" If the guy growls back and screams at you to get lost ... that's me!
Comments (39)
Wow! You have changed side?!
PC be gone! MAC took over!
I think more Koreans are average looking
like the rest of Chinese, Vietnamese or Thai...
it is always those few that are gorgeous that got
the center stage in the media...
I will always stick with PC, back in college, the school have two system lab computer, the mac and pc,. oh god, i have trouble getting around in mac. And it crash all the time. well this is like 7-8 years ago. I am sure Mac has improved but I am not tag-ing myself to "hey I am Kewl I use Mac."
oh the Mac is simple once you get the hang of it. Took me less than a month.
Good one!! I won't go anywhere near you - I know all too well not to approach a growling snarly bugger. You could have rabies or God knows what. hahahahahahahaah animal
It's all about dorky-chic
Conventionally good looking is not really attractive nowadays
as far as computors it really depends on what you will be doing. I prefer linux... although there is a windows dark edtion that I have been dying to try out!
Oh yeah and my uncle has had two mac book pros batterys explode since christmas... in front of his college class room too!
I've struggled with self image for years -- it started with being teased as a skinny kid when I was little, then got worse as I started to lose hair as I got older. The former I was able to partly compensate by working out, the latter by taking hair loss meds to slow it down -- but the feeling of being uncomfortable in my own skin is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone. That being said, yeah, the less people obsess about their looks the better. I'm glad that you don't dwell on it too much, although I'm sure you're quite the dashing fellow and just being modest. I think being an extraordinary person has nothing to do with looks. We may want to look like pretty people but ultimately we want to live like extraordinary people.
Hahaha about the coffee shop encounters. I honestly think the contempt some PC users express towards Mac owners is a reflection of the love that Mac owners have for their machines. I can empathize with the PC users but as a former one, all I can say is ... if owning an Apple is joining the Dark Side, call me Darth Vader baby cause I'm ready to be bad!
I thought the last sentence should be "If the guy growls back and screams at you to get lost ... that's [NOT] me!" =/
i think we all have insecurities about our looks...i can't wait 'til i'm at an age where i'm completely comfortable with my body and looks and not care what anybody else thinks of me...i hope that day is coming soon...lol
lol! so you'll growl back at me. i'll make sure to have the camera ready for that moment and have it posted here.
i admit i do stare at the mirror most of the times but i really don't check how old i've grown or if my hair starts to disappear on my head. i just smile and say to myself, be good
so did your mirror show a masked face that says, what do you want? hehehe
i've always gravitated to cute over hot any day. A lot of the guys I liked actually would probably be considered a little better than average. I wouldn't say they are ugly, but they aren't super models or what not. They are subtle. Some may have even been balding. Others may have been a little pudgy, but then there usually was something about them that made them irresistable, or amazing. Like if someone was an insightful English nerd. Or the care bear guy who reminded me of Gael Bernal Garcia. But yeah, self-assuredness adds to sexy a lot as most people say. Being healthy is a plus too. Even for myself though. i can run and swim a lot every day and still get criticism for having a broad body. But I don't let it bother me. Instead, I just exercise more to feel healthier and pulvarize them on the running trail by asking them to join me.
Ah, you are not going to growl at anyone you pussy cat
. I stick with the PC. Now I have not looked for a lap top and I am certainly open to getting the best. Problem: I have to use a Mac at work and I have been there 3 years and still do not like it. But when your as old as I am change is difficult
.
Having just returned from Korea, I can assure there you that not only are there 'average-looking' guys there, but there are plenty of ugly ones, too. You can take an unattractive boy and dress him up all pretty and pricey, but it takes more than clothes to work on that sort of thing.
Everyday, I look in the mirror and all I see is the things that went wrong with me, and I know it's incredibly unhealthy, but I can't help it; I see flaws so much easier than strengths. Sometimes I wonder how anyone can ever think I'm cute...
I think your image issues are all too common among gay men. We get bombarded with a sub-culture where the key to popularity is good looks (cute face, at least a hot body) and youth. Then when plenty (myself included) do not quite fit this ideal so it's natural to feel a bit insecure. Now, I personally prefer someone who is cute (at least to me) and nice vs. hot and full of himself
need to improve your sex life? come on~
I haven't ever worked on a MAC, but I hear they're great for photographers and musicians? I'm sure you'll find one you like, either PC or MAC. Good luck mate, You'll look cool behind either screen.
@dynamiqvision - I too grew up being the skinny one, and the balding adult, but I've come to really like myself for who I am not as much of what I look like. You said it perfectly. So thank you.
I'm considering getting a Mac when I graduate from grad school (I really, really hope that my PC holds on for a bit longer). My fiance has a Mac and loves it. I think it's much more intuitive than a PC. You'll be fine!
oh yeah, with regards to Mac advice, some of the refurbished models even better, the ones on Clearance (never been opened) are cheaper and pack more memory and all that for a better deal. Mine is a clearance black macbook. Got it at a good price and it came with 240 gigahertz of harddrive space. That's like almost double for the lowest model.
You sure you want to convert to a Mac?? It takes almost a month to find out the right things to do with it... that's what they say.
Yeah about the looks, let us be the judge. Discard your burkha and expose your face, why don't you. We will tell you what kind of a dork you look like. lol.
hahaha i don't know if macs really improve your sex life.... so you are getting a mac? i'm holding on to a thread of hope that windows 7 makes a lot of improvements on vista... i guess we'll find out in a few weeks, although i really can't switch to a mac because of the programs i need to run. ah well...
@ZenPaper - I really am leaning towards a Mac. I think it'll take me awhile to get used to it though. There seems to be many that get the attention. But I guess percentage wise - it's a few?
@vsan79 - I hope they have improved. Based on talking with a few people, they seem to be very happy with it.
@Roadlesstaken - ahh... now I feel better. I hope to get lots of comments like you do when I blog on a Mac.
@dikdoktor - I am very patient and will sit for hours waiting for my victim. hahahaha
@sick_of_dreams - yikes! exploding Macs - I hope that won't happen to me. Thanks for dropping by.
@dynamiqvision - thanks for sharing, sometimes your comments are like mini blogs. I like it. "Quite a dashing fellow"? Now my head is getting too big... won't be able to get into my Civic tomorrow! But thank you.
@tomatoboi - I can be very grumpy sometimes.
@Renatojr3 - the reflection in the mirror just growled back at me... no sympathy.
@onmovement - you know what's weird is that I think you look just fine.
@alchemystfury - it won't take long to pulverize me on the running trail. I like what you wrote. Sometimes it's that certain something - the air of confidence, or the quirky sense of humor that really captures my attention.
@Fatcat723 - MEOW MEOW ... hiss... snarl... scratch... I guess cats growl differently. I hope the learning curve won't be too hard for me.
@secade - yeah, I think we sometimes see our flaws (real and imagined or exaggerated) but underestimate our own strengths and abilities.
@TheLatinObserver - I'm full of myself after a full meal.
Yeah, the gay culture seems to emphasize youth and looks a lot more than the straight culture. But maybe it's just my impression.
@yang1815 - hahaha.... I might write about that one of these days.
@bleuzeus - I like what Sion had to say too. I'm glad someone thinks I'll look cool either way. Maybe if I wear all black like Steve Jobs.... hahahaha
@TheCheshireGrins - whew... good to hear. I hope your PC will hold on for a few more years too. But make sure you back up your data.
@alchemystfury - interesting, I'll have to check on that - thank you.
@ZSA_MD - "we will tell you what kind of a dork you look like." HAHAHAHA - oh you made me laugh. I'm sure you'll do it with a nice poem too.
Oh that Mattie, he looks a bit ratty.
@kunhuo42 - yeah, I'm really leaning towards a Mac. You must run some pretty interesting (scientific) programs? I haven't read much on Windows 7. I hope it's as good as they say though.
You should check out Windows 7 before you finally decide. Macs are great, I hear, and the iPhoto and software for photography is supposed to be top notch.
Lately, when I look in the mirror, I don't see my biceps widening, I only see my lagging triceps
@dynamiqvision - That was pretty much what I wanted to say. Not the Darth Vader bit, but the bit about obsessing less with our looks. We receive an endless torrent of messages telling us we don't look good enough, all of which are designed to heighten our insecurity and make us spend money. Beauty comes less from your looks and more from the confidence with which you carry yourself and the manner in which you interact with others.
Of all the people I know, the ones who are the most beautiful by contemporary standards are the ones most bathed in insecurities. The ones whose beauty really shines through are those who have learned to live within their own skin, with kindness towards others.
Hahahaha You are too funny!
@ElusiveWords - the problem is i run software like matlab, which was never really designed to run on a mac. the mac versions tend to be less updated, don't work as well, and nobody has copies of the mac version in the lab (and it's not cheap!). in fact, my coworker has a windows partition on her mac specifically so that she can use the pc version of matlab.
@ElusiveWords - do it~ do it~ do it~
Hehe, those guys in those Korean dramas/movies are hot but just like every other culture, the average guy in Korea is just that, average. But in general, I do think Korea guys are more hot than other Asians (other than Chinese)!
you're really hot, matt. i will do ANYTHING to please you. i can be your second bf.
i think feeling good in your own skin is all that matters. i think happiness makes everyone look better. people envy happy people.
@secade - you honestly look fine. sometimes i feel like you do, but then i watch a documentary about people with an illness that has dramatically changed their appearance, and i feel silly for worrying about my looks. i hope you'll be able to believe that you indeed look fine, and just enjoy what you have, because it's great.
@youngvan - thanks -
Have a great day.
@yang1815 - hahahaha - you sound like some evil sicko. I will soon join you.
@brooklyn2028 - all the other Asian cultures are gonna get you for that comment! Those Japanese porn stars are gonna be stalking you soon.
@stepaside_loser - you've got that right about feeling comfortable in your own skin. Learning to accept yourself both physically and as a person is never easy. Thanks for the compliment.
I'm sure my bf will have a few words to say about you being the second bf. 
@ElusiveWords - LOL! Well I didn't say they are ugly. All Asians are HOT but I am personally more attracted to Chinese or Korean.
And wow, wouldn't that be hot if those Japanese porn stars stalked me! Hahaha!
@ElusiveWords - you can be the angelic sicko and I can be the evil one. Halloween costumes anyone?!
@stepaside_loser - meh. I'm still getting comfortable with everything. getting thicker is just weird for me, too. even if it is as a result of working out a lot, when you're used to being sickly thin (as in actually resulting from illness), gaining weight is weird and uncomfortable.
@secade - what kind of sickness? i'm sure you've seen a doctor about it, but maybe your doctor can give you advice on healthy ways for you to gain mass. take your time with it... from what i've learnt, it's better to make small changes, than to try and drastically change your diet and exercise and then fall back into old, bad habits.
Oh nice! Are you looking for 13 or 15 inch screen? Or 17? If I buy sometime next year, I am debating which size to get.
@mmmagination - I can't afford the 17" and I think it's a bit too big to carry around. As a student, I think you can get discounts. Or check out their refurbished laptops. I'll likely get the 15" one.
you're not alone, matt. you're not alone. by the way, welcome to the world of MAC
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