November 7, 2009
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Hello: My Name is Matthew
I almost feel as if I have to reintroduce myself. It's me ...
It's been pretty hectic at work and I have been spending most of my evenings doing work. Part of the problem is the skills on my small team aren't evenly distributed. Only 2 of us are experienced so it hasn't been easy. That's life in a big corporation though - you're expected to adjust and adapt.
You know what's scary about being away from writing and blogging? I got used to it. I spend about 5 minutes reading subscriptions and that's it for my Xanga fix. I understand how some people can slowly fade away from blogging. It's similar to replacing a habit with another. After writing a lot during the day, the last thing I want to do is write. Or so it seems. I certainly don't get the same emotional satisfaction when I write at work. No one comments on it... no one recommends it.
Last night, I was finishing dinner and watching TV. I had taken the day off and was running around with some chores. I knew I still had to check on my emails and to prepare some stuff for Monday. But there was a show about W.P. Kinsella . His novel Shoeless Joe was adapted into Field of Dreams which is one of my favorite movies. I caught the show in progress and was spellbound. It was interesting hearing how that movie affected so many people and how the readers perceived the author. Kinsella was worried that the screenplay will ruin his story. But when he read the screenplay, he was moved to tears. He chuckled that he was moved by his own novel.
Do you remember that scene when Kevin Costner played catch with his dad? I never did that. My dad and I sometimes would play basketball. He wasn't athletic at all so I never did learn how to dribble or shoot from him. He sometimes would come out and toss around the football with my brother and I. But he couldn't catch or throw. I smile at the memory now. Back then, I just wanted to learn how to throw a nice tight spiral. Now, it's just spending some quality time with him.
But that show about Kinsella triggered something in me. It feels good to write. It feels good to connect again to something in me.
I have sped read all your entries - which doesn't do justice of course. But I'll slowly catch up.
Peace, love and understanding ....
Comments (30)
Welcome back!
We all have our own versions of pseudo retirement episodes from xanga... so we are understanding.
I have been lagging up on my entries as well. So, it's understandable, Matt. My connection with dad is not playing ball, but mah-jong. Yes, he's an excellent mah-jong player, maybe I should have a blog about that too! LOL
Glad to see you're writing again
I never did any of that stuff with my Dad growing up either. Even though lived with us, I'd only see him once a week or so because he didn't really like his kids, didn't think they were really his. Now that I live with him, and I never spent time any time with him other than video gaming in high school, I have no words to share with him. Can you spend time with someone you can't even look at?
I know what you mean about how when you get away from something you don't spend as much time as you used to. Then again, it's also quite easy to get back into it
Welcome back! I do more frequent updates to my blog whenever I have free time and slow down when work or personal matters take most of my attention. I find reading blogs and writing mine somewhat therapeutic.
@secade - I've always wondered whenever I see divorced dads having lunch with their kids and they are unable to have a conversation whether this was also the case before the divorce. I'd hate to have children and be unable to connect with them.
Welcome back!!!
My dad and I play golf, mahjong, and eat & drink together!
welcome back ...it's true all of us from time to time will stop blogging for a while, and get back to it after a while...
@CurryPuffy - oh playing MJ.....I think I can only spend max 4 rounds of it.....
i completely understand what you mean; i'm focusing on doing a lot of writing at work right now, and after outlining, writing, and proofreading i just don't have the will power to sit and write a blog. i'm hoping this phase will pass quickly, but i need to get a grant proposal and a couple of papers written up. good luck with all your work!
There you are! Welcome back!
You know, I didn't realize that Field of Dreams was based on a book. Very interesting!
@Dezinerdreams - hi - thank you, it's nice to write again. "pseudo retirement" - hahaha, I like that term.
@CurryPuffy - yeah... you have been quiet too.
I figure a lot of folks are busy. My dad doesn't play MJ so I never really grew up with it.
@secade - oh gee... that's a very difficult situation you're in. I don't believe there's a lot you can do to change his behaviour. *hugs*
@Roadlesstaken - I hope so, I really do enjoy writing. I have to tip my hat to you. You've got a busy school schedule and still find time to write.
@TheLatinObserver - I've always wanted to be a bit more disciplined about writing but it is tough. Sort of like going to the gym.
@yang1815 - wow, that's pretty good. I think a lot of folks would envy you.
@agmhkg - thank you, it is good to be back. But I know work will continue to cast a big shadow over me.
@kunhuo42 - hey Aaron, good luck with your proposals as well.
@TheCheshireGrins - thank you, I hope to keep writing a bit more. Work is just a bit overwhelming right now.
@ElusiveWords - that, or I just find time to procrastinate haha
It's good to have you back...
you know thats' a movie that I've never seen...
Funny, as popular as it was, I've not set down
to view it... perhaps I should.
Be well,
*~matthew~*
@ElusiveWords - Nothing is ever easy
This ain't the worst I've been in, I'll get through. Just gotta get aa job and move away so i can start repairing.
@ElusiveWords - Haha yeah but we get to do that just for a few days a year...
Glad you've had a chance to reconnect with that something in you. I know that it is easy to slip away from blogging. Glad that you haven't slipped away from the gravitational pull of Xanga, though.
"Shoeless Joe" and "Field of Dreams" were a very enjoyable book and movie, respectively. I never had that experience with my father, either, with any sport.
Hey Matt, I'm Andrew. Nice to meet you. There's no need to apologise, of course.
Xanga tends to always have a way of sucking me back in. Always. I enjoy typing on Xanga. You're right, the best part is that people can comment on what you've written, and you can also have a sneak peak at other people's writing.
@christao408 - it just go to be so overwhelming at work. I had to take a couple of days off to recover from the long hours. I'm not alone though, I can send an email at night and still get a response. Sad... But it is good to write again.
@bleuzeus - thanks, it is comforting to be back. I know it'll be a bit irregular as this quarter continues to be very busy.
@stepaside_loser - there's the community aspect of Xanga that I like a lot and that's always comforting to me. The writing is also fun, cathartic and therapeutic.
Good to see you again
I never had the experiences with my father as well. Yes, he was always here, and yes, he's the best father I could want; but he doesn't have an athletic bone in him. He's pure academic. Two PhD's two masters degrees, speaks 9 languages -- you know the sort. This means I was never taught how to throw a ball, or how to defend myself, or swing a baseball bat, or any of those sorts of things.
Fact is, I was probably THE most un-athletic kid in my grade because of it. If you threw a ball at me, it would just hit me and I'd fall over. If you punched at me, I wouldn't know what to do. I couldn't hit a baseball at all. If you gave me a ball and told me to throw it, I'd end up throwing it at the ground at some odd angle. I was 5'9" in 6th grade, but I couldn't play basketball at all. I was THAT kid.
I ended up as a Muay Thai Kickboxer, a Wrestler, and a Running Back. I still can't play basketball, hahaha.
@chow@ireallylikefood - you have a fascinating background. How the heck did you end up as a Muay Thai fighter, wrestler and a running back? I could just picture myself sitting back over a few beers and chatting about your past.
@ElusiveWords - Ohhh it's a long story. I'll probably end up posting about it on the personal blog I'm creating; but it was out of necessity, basically. Talking about my past generally takes more than a few beers hahaha. I feel like I've lived 10 lifetimes.
@agmhkg - only four rounds? I used to play from afternoon 'til the next day! But that was such a long time ago! LOL
Life happens sometimes and it takes you away from writing. Hopefully with more things build up over time, we'll be seeing even richer story than your already vivid and emotional blogs.
@CurryPuffy - because I don't really enjoy MJ game....
@Wangium - I think sometimes my entries tend to get a bit too emotional. It's like watching a tear jerker.
Have you considered writing for Korean soap?
Just kidding...it's not THAT dramatic
Sometimes It makes everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside.
@Wangium - you heard of chick flicks? My blog is like a chick blog (sometimes).
Hi Matthew! You do spend a lot of time on here. I do sometimes think of writing in my blog, but often gets lazy and after a day that the event or thought has passed, I feel like there is no need to write it anymore.
It's interesting how superiors pick on those that they believe is able to complete the tasks needed. Even at my work, some people get less duties and others get more. It is often frustrating that work isn't or doesn't seem to be distributed evenly though.
I kinda feel as if I'm one of those who is getting so used to NOT writing. BUT I will for sure be able to blog more soon cause I'm almost done school. I never played with my dad either but that was cause he was always traveling for business.
Hope your workload isn't as crazy anymore! *hugs*
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