December 11, 2013
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Looking for Minor Victories
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything. It’s partly because I don’t really have anything good to write about.
These past few years, the long, dark days of winter have dampened my mood. I’ve also gotten way out of shape. When I’m stressed, I tend to eat more. When I’m at my dad’s place, I snack like crazy. It doesn’t help that my sister leaves a lot of junk food around. Dinners there are usually take out food. No one really has time to cook. I downloaded a fitness app only to find out how far out of shape I’m in. I don’t sleep enough. I know I’ll pay dearly for this.
My dad’s health is declining rapidly. We used to celebrate minor victories. He ate well. He slept well. He had a bowel movement. There wasn’t any pain. It’s hard to find those minor victories now. I stayed over the other night. I told my sister to go to bed and she did around 1 AM. My dad called out frequently when he is asleep – not deep sleep. I had to keep checking to see if he was really calling out or just talking in his sleep. He did wake up a couple of times and I gave him some water. I would hold his hands to give him some assurance and told him to rest and go back to sleep. I think the hardest part is watching him grimacing in pain when he is being changed. I finally got to nap for an hour around 4. My sister woke up a few times to check. She eventually got up around 5. It’s like this for her every night. I left the house just as the rush hour started. When I got home, I fueled myself with caffeine to get me through the day. My brother came over later that day with food.
Is this heroic? No. I’m just doing my bit to help. I have no idea how previous generations handled all of this. How do the people living around the poverty line manage with elder care and dementia?
Writing is one of the few things that keep me sane. I wish I had more time for this.
Comments (14)
Caring for an ill parent is never easy — I’m glad you’re there to help out! Take care of yourself too, though!
It’s tough to feel good about finding time to look after myself. It’s strange how guilt works.
I was thinking about your Dad and you last night…and I prayed.
Reading this brings tears to my eyes…that your Dad is declining rapidly and suffering…that you are spending so much time loving him and caring for him…where you are in your life right now reminds me of the last months of my Mom’s life (she died two years ago)…I spent a lot of time with her and was by her side 24/7 the last week of her life.
You are a good son!
Please take care of yourself, too!
HUGS,
Carolyn
Thank you again for all your prayers and ongoing support.
Oh…in my Mom’s last months I didn’t have time to blog. But I “wrote” on my word program on my computer, just for an outlet.
You and your dad have been in the periphery of my thoughts all the time Mattie. I pray things will get easier for him and you will find peace in your heart. love and hugs.
I hope he’ll find peace too. Thank you.
I am sorry to hear about your dad, Our dad is in a difficult stage of life as well. You and he are in my prayers.
Generations ago, many people didn’t make it into old age as we know it today, for the medical sciences we have today weren’t available to keep them alive. Aging has become a mixed blessing.
I pray that you’ll stay strong through this difficult stage in his life. You can only do so much so don’t feel guilty. Thank you for your prayers. I’ll keep both of you in my prayers too.
I’m sorry to hear of your dad’s illness. I wish you and your family the strength to pull through this hard time.
Thank you.
All of you…especially your Dad…are in my thoughts this week.
(((HUGS)))
Thank you.
keep writing, matt. if that’s what keeps you going, regardless what life throws at you. hugs.