April 27, 2011
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A Parent’s parent
I’ve been working and staying at my dad’s place this week. My sis is traveling on business. It’s been tricky balancing work but it’s a quiet week (meeting wise) and most people attend meetings by phone anyways. But it’s not comfortable working here and I have to walk around every hour to stretch my back. My productivity is not that high when compared to working in an office so I work late to make up for it. It just makes for long days.
I was also very apprehensive as there’s only one spare bed left in the house. It’s my mom’s old bed. I changed the sheets (even though it has been changed since she passed away years ago) and was grateful I could fall asleep there. Dad is spoiled whenever I’m here. I chat with him during my breaks, get him tea, fruits, towel to wipe his face, get his mail, do his laundry, pay his bills and give him gentle reminders to brush his teeth and take his meds. He gets 3 full meals as well. He looked sad when I told him I am leaving Thursday night. He also wanted me to swing by next week on a certain day but I couldn’t. He has a couple of folks over to visit him and he was hoping I could help make coffee. So I’ll have to figure out what to do.
It just overwhelming sometimes when I stay here. There’s so much to do (e.g. cleaning, repairs) and I can’t get to any of them. I keep telling myself I should enjoy the time I have with him. It’s ironic. I’ve always to have kids. But my parenting skills are for my dad.
Comments (21)
You are blessed Matt, that you can do this. You know in your heart, that he appreciates it, and years from now, you will be so happy that you stayed with your dad and that you helped him, as a parent would his child.
Blessings.
@ZSA_MD - thank you for your kind words. I know he does appreciate it.
isn’t that how life works? both when we’re young and when we’re old, we need people to help take care of us — and in both cases, similar parenting skills are involved even though many aspects of the situation are different.
it’s great that you can spend so much time with your dad, and take care of him. my parents complain that i’m so far away, that i won’t be around when they get older and need help. luckily, my sister lives close by in case they ever need anything.
@kunhuo42 - you’re right Aaron, life is funny that way. I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t treat this as a chore. Usually I try to work from his place once a week. Some weeks I can’t do that though when it gets really busy at work. I’m glad your sister is close by. There are many in your situation. A colleague of mine had relatives out west. His brother bore the brunt of the elder care. He has kids here and it was tough for him to fly out.
You are appreciated. You’re one of the best sons here on Xanga if I may say.
Well, you love your father, no matter how inconvenient that may be. And I can appreciate the inconvenience.
But the key word…is love. You have what I sure as hell don’t. I wouldn’t piss on my dads head if his hair was on fire.
Feel good man, forget the hassle, feel good…because you have something that is special, even though it may not feel like it is.
it is, trust me, I know, cuz I don’t have it…..LOVE.
keep it up!
Gosh, your dad is a lucky guy to have you around! I guess you are setting a good example here for other families.
Awww…. your dad is really lucky to have you! =) Keep it up! When our parents are old, they act like children. lol xD
The whole circle of life where we start out helpless and often end up that way, too. Wish I could come over and give you a hand since my work schedule is more flexible than yours. I could stop by, bake some scones for your dad, have some tea with him, and then explain who I am. THAT would knock his socks off. LOL
I agree with christoa’s comment. Its all about the circle of life. He took care of you. Now, its your turn to take care of him. All of us go through this one way or another
We come into this world needing help to get started and we begin to leave this world needing help. I guess it is the cycle of life. My folks needed help as they aged and my sister lived very close if something happened. Matt, as I have said before you are a good son.
such a great son.
You’re too good of a man.
such a great Son…keep it up!
I know exactly where you are Matt. Anything I can do, I’m here. You are a good son.
Keep it up, my friend.
It’s beautiful to read what you’re doing for your dad! Your generosity towards your dad has, honestly, inspired me to be more kind to my parents – I think it is one of the main reasons why I eagerly keep coming back to your blog.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re a good soul.
Hang in there bud. You really do a lot for your family, keeping everything running and taking care of those in need. Words are just words, but hopefully they are some form of encouragement and keep your spirit strong during trying times. + oil my friend.
Your dad is lucky… and so will your children (if you decide to have them).
I’m pretty sure he really enjoys your company
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