August 10, 2011

• Snippets

  Snippets:  a collection of senseless tidbits strung together incoherently.

  1.  I go to this Chinese barbershop where the staff the staff always answers the phone in Cantonese.  The barber who cuts my hair always chats with me in English.  But he seldom answers the phone.  So before I call to make an appointment, I have to mentally rehearse what I want to tell them when I call.  One time I didn’t rehearse and almost asked to make a reservation for a table.  This time, my barber answers the phone.  But my mouth is already babbling in faux Cantonese and i made an appointment.  After I hung up, I realized he didn’t even ask my name.  As he was snipping away, I asked him if he knew that was me that called.  He said “No, I didn’t recognize your voice.  It sounded like a westerner calling.”  I scowled “But I was speaking in Cantonese to you!”.  He sort of shrug and diplomatically replied “Oh… you sound different on the phone.”  Somewhere up there, my mom must be shaking her head.

  2.  Air conditioning and I don’t get along. I just can’t stand a cold room.  The place I’m working at lately has bone chilling AC.  I have to go outside to warm myself.  I actually wear a light sweater indoors.  It’s the same at my dad’s place.  I always have to reset the thermostat when I get there.  If I don’t bring a jacket or sweater, I wrap myself in a towel.  Even during the heatwave, I would bring my laptop out to the porch and work there because it was more comfortable.  But when I sleep, I prefer a cool bedroom where I can snuggle underneath my blanket. 

  3.  Sleep and I continue to have a very tense relationship right now.  A few days ago, I went to bed early but woke up at 2:30AM and couldn’t get back to sleep.  I managed to sleepwalk through work.  Another day, I tossed and turn until 3 before falling asleep.  I wish my mind and my body would be on the same time zone.

  4.  While navigating through a busy sidewalk, I noticed a woman across the street handing out flyers.  Normally this wouldn’t catch my attention but she was picky about who she was giving her flyers too.  When the light turned green, I cross the intersection and kept an eye on her.  She would scan around and then give some random person a flyer.  When I got near her, she walked up to me and gave me a flyer.  I looked down at it.  It was a coupon for gym membership.    ok ok.. I get the hint. 

  5.  I never noticed this about myself before but I like to check out people’s toes.  I’ve caught myself several times looking at guy’s toes when they are wearing sandals, slippers or flip flops.  I don’t know why I like to look at them.  I’m curious what people do with their toes when they are in the throes of an orgasm.  Some clench them, so open them wide, some curl them…  So if you catch me staring at your toes and looking a bit distracted, you’ll know what’s on my mind.  Now that I’ve written this, I doubt if I’ll ever show my face to anyone here.  *reaches for sunglasses* 

  (ed. note:  omg Matt… you have a foot fetish!)

  • 9:24 PM
  • 22 Comments