January 14, 2014
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Fragile Bonds of Friendship
I found out the other day that my god father passed away in 2012. No one told my family. He was one of my dad’s closest friend when they were young. He gave me my first camera (along with a few red pouches). My brother was just a wee bit envious because his godfather never gave him anything. So my brother made up a picket sign demanding a new godfather. Over time with illnesses hounding both my dad and my godfather, they just drifted apart. Neither of them used email or regular mail. Even the phone calls became scarcer as my godfather’s hearing became impaired.
Then I thought about my online friends that I’ve developed on Xanga. If something happened to me, none of you would find out about it. None of you would know who to call if my blog becomes inactive for a long period of time. The opposite would probably be true too. Then I wondered, why it was easier for me to find acceptance here. Well – it’s easy to hide my faults when I am very careful how I present myself here. You just see my good side. When I talk about my faults, I usually minimize or trivialize them. Would you accept me if you got to know me in real life? The optimistic part of me remains hopeful. But the fact is, my circle of friends really are really online. If I’m not online, then it’s harder to maintain that thin, ephemeral thread of relationship here.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I keep thinking a lot of you have an extensive network of close friends to lean on. But I know that isn’t necessarily true for everyone. Maybe there are more changes I need in my life.
Comments (14)
I left a comment on your WP site, but wanted to leave you HUGS here!!!
Thank you! You’re everywhere with your hugs.
You are going where I have been for a long time. I’ve wondered about that for a long time myself. Fortunately my daughter and daughter in law visit my blog and if I am gone they will let every one know. (I hope)I hope and pray that nothing bad happens to you for a long long long time my dear Matt. I do have a good circle of friends and family, here on cyberspace and physically. What happens and when it happens, only The Master knows. Hugs to you dear heart.
I hope nothing bad will happen too. Maybe I just worry too much. *hugs* to you too.
To be honest, my real life friends are just co-worker, alumni, and close relatives. Me and my old buddy have not communicate with each other for over 10 years. His excuse was he was very upset when his mom died. His mom liked me a lot. He said seeing me reminds him about his mom passing away. So he has not answered my phone calls for several years, and we just drifted apart. I do not even know whether he is alive.
It’s sad to read about your old buddy. It’s tough to make new friends and I don’t know why this is the case. Some people just seem to make new friends so easily. How is your mom doing? How are things with you?
The older my parents got, the more I realize how important it is to be a part of a community.. luckily for my parents it’s church. If someone was sick or dying, word got through the grapevine even for these old technology lacking non English speaking peoples.. they somehow spread the words and there are always people to pray for you or to come visit you. It’s quite comforting actually.
I think when there is a sense of community and responsibility or obligation, people are more likely to keep tabs on each other… online or not.
I think it’s great that your parents have this community to draw from. It’s good that the folks that don’t speak English or don’t have the technology also get support. I think sometimes we rely on email / internet too much.
I’d love to meet you! I don’t even know your real name!.. And now that I don’t work at Spadina anymore, you don’t have much chance to bump into me and say hi to me on the street!
My real name is Matt. I will have to find a different way to stalk you (now that I know your license number). hahahaha….
Surprise! Did you miss me? Friendships always go through waves and unfortunately sometimes close friends drift apart. I think most of us are quite cautious about how we portray ourselves online (and offline for that matter). But I would beg to say a lot of us know you quite well.
Sheldon – of course I miss you! Well – I still don’t reveal a lot about myself. I think the early, carefree days of blogging are over. Employers, customers etc… all check and that’s kinda sad.
it’s funny how and what one defines a friend or friendship. i find myself sharing more here than to the friends i have around and get to see face to face.
I share more here than anywhere else.