I will probably stop posting here and keep my updates on my WordPress site.  My membership runs out at the end of the month.  Most of you follow me there anyways.

You can find me at Nocturnaltwins.Wordpress.com

I was devouring the noodles, fried rice and lobster when J’s nephew leaned over and asked “Uncle Matt, do you know what that guy is shouting about?”  I looked up but didn’t hear anyone shouting in the restaurant.  But just as I resumed eating, I could hear a man talking very loudly in Mandarin.  I had no idea what he was saying.  It was a table of 4, the man and presumably his wife who was holding on to a young child (maybe a year and a half) and a small boy of about 5.   The wife looked tired and just stared blankly ahead.  The man just kept on talking in a harsh tone.  The young boy was cute as a button but had the saddest looking eyes.  He had his chin on the table and even from my distance, I could see his eyes had watered up.

Then an older couple joined them.  The young boy walked over to his dad and they were both looking at the menu.  I continued with my meal and didn’t hear much from them.  But every so often, I glanced over.  The boy still looked sad.  The man never helped his wife look after the baby so she could eat.  The older couple seemed to be lost in their world.  The young boy ate directly from the dishes set on the table (family style).  His bowl and plate were empty.  It seemed like he had to fend for himself.

I just hope things won’t be so bad for him.  His sad eyes and predicament still bothers me.  I don’t know if I should have done something.

These past few days have found me working late into the night with work and cleaning.  I have relatives coming over and one of them is staying at my condo.  I like them which eases the pain but my condo seems to be in a state of perpetual mess. I just never seem to have time to fix and clean up my place.  My siblings worship at the temple of Martha Stewart.  Everything is prim and proper.  They have the Thanksgiving decorations up.  My brother tells me his wife will sometimes wake up early in the morning to redecorate because she just thought of something interesting.  We’re talking 3 AM in the morning.

So far, I’ve thrown out a bunch of stuff that I don’t need – everything from old food containers, jars, magazines, receipts and stuff.  I have several boxes of invoices, statements etc.. that I need to file.  I think I inherited this need to save stuff (I can’t use the term hoarding yet) from my parents.  To them, everything that could be reused  was saved.  My sister has spent the past few months clearing the stuff from the house.  She would text or call me with another “interesting” thing she found from decades ago.  “Why would our parents keep this stuff?”.  Hopefully my place won’t look so bad when my relatives come.

An update from my previous entry.  I suspect a lot of this is stress related.  No matter how much I plan out my day, we get a lot of last minute request.  It has to go out to the client asap.  So I have to drop everything.  We’re just a small team and everyone has more our fair share of work.  Budget cuts have not helped.  I still work 2 to 4 hours each evening and part of my weekend.  It’s not a great life.  Maybe I have this phobia of change.  Or inertia is a more powerful force than I realize.

Despite promising myself I need to change and do things that I want to do, I’m still stuck in a job that pays the bills but does nothing else for my soul.  The trips to the gym have become a bit sporadic.  My brain sometimes sleeps during the day and becomes active at night when I need it to sleep.  Its weird, sometimes I’ll be changing channels and it’ll stop on some show with someone going on about doing what you love.  Another day, I suddenly remembered this travel outfit that I had checked out years ago for camping and hiking trips up way up north.  Then my sister told me about a story she heard from one of our aunts.  Her brother in law had worked so hard for his company.  It was some sort of special project and he busted his balls.  When it was over, they simply let him go.  He passed away a few months after that leaving 4 young kids.  I remember my mom telling me that story many years ago.  There’ve been so many signs.

I guess I wasn’t doing anything about it.  So life decided to give me a slap in the face.  After dinner on the weekend with J, I asked him to drive me to the hospital.  I wasn’t feeling well.  The guy at the emergency did a quick assessment and in about 15 mins, I was admitted.  The guy behind me was bleeding from a cut in his face.  There were others that looked like they’ve been there for hours.  I felt a bit guilty getting ahead of them.

I was there for maybe an hour and a bit.  I only took one picture with my phone.  Sorry – no selfies. The doctor kept me awhile to make sure I was ok once I got fixed me up.  I’m fine now.   I guess I need to take care of myself and enjoy life.

You folks doing ok?

ER bed

t’s funny how memories work.  I was doing the dishes and rinsing out my spatula.  Then I remember my mom making coconut cream pie.  It wasn’t anything fancy.  I think everything was from a box.  But she added vanilla extract, orange rinds etc… to make it a bit more interesting.  After she finished, I would make sure I was first in line to lick the bowls, spoons and even the mixer blades.  If my siblings were there, she had to figure out how to divvy everything up fairly.

Then one day, instead of using a wooden spoon, she used a spatula.  I marveled at how efficient it was.  This must be a work of a genius.  When she was done, there wasn’t much anything to lick.  Even the mixer blades were pretty clean.  The 3 of us fought for those scraps like hungry hyenas.  Clearly this spatula was an invention of some sick person who didn’t like children.  I think the next time she made pie, she didn’t scrape the bowl that cleanly anymore.  Peace was restored.

This entry started about a month ago. I finally got around to finishing it.  Work got in the way – what can I say.

I watched Run River North perform at the Drake Underground on July 23rd. It’s rare treat for me to go out on a work night since I work most evenings. I’ve been following this L.A. based band when they were originally called Monsters Calling Home. This young Korean American band caught my attention with their intricate harmonies and compelling songs. The show was sold out although the room wasn’t that full.

The opening act was The Lighthouse and the Whaler from Cleveland, Ohio. They had an interesting folk, pop sound that was catchy. One of the band members played a mandolin and glockenspiel. It didn’t take long for the crowd to start (well – at least the people around me), started to moving to their music. It’s tough being the opening act but they handled it with grace – giving their tour mates a compliment and earning a nice round of applause at the end. I enjoyed their music and picked up their CD at the of the night.

After they finished their set, they packed up their gear and Run River North started to set up their gear. It was interesting seeing musicians doing this on their own after watching other big rock acts having roadies doing all of that. After a brief sound check, they went offstage for a couple minutes. Once they returned, they started their set with In the Water followed by their signature song, Monsters Calling Home which got the crowd going. If they were nervous or tired, they didn’t show it.

Here are my impressions of a few of their songs: (in no particular order)
Foxbeard was beautifully executed.  It had a slow, gentle start with Alex Hwang’s and Sally Kang’s vocal guiding the song, backed with beautiful harmonies and the steady drumming of John Chong.  It was a favorite of mine when they first revealed it on YouTube.  I thought the version on their CD was a bit too restrained but their live performance was really well done.

Run River Run – Alex explained that River was the daughter of a friend. She had a tumour in her neck and the song is about her.   Alex quickly reassured everyone that everything turned out well.  He added that people would be depressed about the song when he forgot to tell them about the happy ending.

Mr. Brightside (cover of the Killers) was sung to a hushed room. It was just Alex and his guitar with the others joining at the end. It was beautifully done.

Lying Beast:  was another song with a soft, quiet beginning that morphed into an extended super charged jam session. It was just so much fun watching them stretch their wings.  They gradually guided the song back to a soft ending with their sweet harmony.

Banner:  a solemn response to the hateful message from the Westboro Baptist Church.  Don’t use hate to fight hate.

Growing Up:  Another favorite of mine (and others) with beautiful and haunting lyrics (see below).

“I used to close my eyes
To what stirred under my bed,
Now they’re open wide
To the monsters in my bed.

Instead of claws, they whisper lies
Sinking fear in quiet steps,
So I will fight in the light
‘Til I give my final breath.”

Rain was another gentle, quiet song that is only on their vinyl record. A version is on the original Monsters Calling Home EP.  Alex gave a plug to the audience to buy their vinyl because the sound is better.  The audience must have listened because they sold out of their vinyl record.

Fight to Keep was the second song of their encore.  It was fun, rousing & energetic with Alex going into the audience for a good part of the song. This was definitely a highpoint and sent everyone home wanting for more.

RRN seems to be more comfortable with themselves and flexing some newly found muscles. The long road trip probably helped them develop a very competent stage presence.  They gave a polished, energetic & highly entertaining performance.   I think they are on the cusp of something even bigger.  I hope they’ll come back again.  If you get a chance to catch them, do so.  You won’t be disappointed.

Run River North are:  Alex Hwang (lead vocals, guitars), Daniel Chae (vocals, strings), Jennifer Rim (strings), Joe Chun (bass, vocals), John Chong (drums, vocals) and Sally Kang (vocals, keyboards).

See more at: http://www.nettwerk.com/artist/run-river-north#sthash.qMUj5bzR.dpuf

On a side note, I wish the lighting at the venue was better.  It was dark on stage right where Daniel Chae hung out most of the night.  At least the sound was decent.  I had forgotten how much I enjoy watching live music and it reminded me of simpler times.  I need to reconnect with this part of me.

Alex Hwang

Joe Chun, John Chong and Alex Hwang

Daniel Chae, Joe Chun and Alex Hwang

John Chong

Sally Kang and Jennifer Rim

I think my brain stops working sometimes.  It’s as if my body is moving but there’s no one home.  Here are a few recent examples.

1. I went downstairs from my condo to get my mail. When I got back, I couldn’t open my door.  I kept turning the lever but door won’t open.  Then my brain started to come alive.  Maybe I should just unlock the door using the key I was holding in my hand.

2.  When I watch TV and change channels during the commercials, I rarely remember what I was watching originally.  So I end up watching something else.   Sometimes I’ll stumble back to the  the show I was watching originally as I’m flipping through the channels again.  Now I rarely change channels (especially when I’m watching Walking Dead).

3.  I will soon resort to tying my reading glasses to my “thing”.  It’s the only way for me not to lose my reading glasses.  But I know I’ll end up tying my remote controls, wallet etc… to it.  Hmm… I wonder if that will stretch my “thing”?

4. If I don’t write down when I put something in the oven, I will never remember it.  I have a timer on my iPhone but keep forgetting to check it.

5.  Don’t even ask me about passwords.  I can remember my ATM password, a few of my online passwords and believe it or not, my student number from university.  As for the rest, I think I will have to write them down on my “thing”.

6.  I was doing laundry and noticed I didn’t have enough for a full load.  It was towards the end of the day so I figured I would just toss in what I was wearing.  Then I realized the blinds were up.  I ran to my bedroom to put on some clothes.   It’s a good thing I haven’t attached my glasses and remote controls to my “thing” yet.

I need some brain pills.

“Matt – let’s read.  We always read something before we go to sleep.”

“Yes but it’s almost 2AM!  I’ve got a lot of things that I wanted to get done tomorrow.”  I said.

“You always read a bit to relax and to tire your eyes.  Otherwise, you can’t sleep.”

I cringed.  “Ok – but no more than 30 minutes.”

An hour later,  I was still wide awake.

“Matt, do you want to play Scrabble on your phone?”

“It’s past 3!  I really need to sleep.”

“You can always take your pills.”

“I can but I don’t want to.  I always feel so tired in the morning.  But maybe some Scrabble will unscramble my mind.”  I said.

After a couple of futile rounds, I checked my Instagram feed, liked a bunch of photos, checked the news and read some more.  By the time I rolled over, I noticed it was starting to get bright outside.  I knew it was past 4:30AM but I hoped the light was just the streetlamp.  I somehow got to sleep and woke up around 10:30 AM.  It took an hour before I made it to the shower. I didn’t bother shaving today.  I didn’t want to eat breakfast at home so I walked to a nearby coffeeshop and gulped down some caffeine.

I get stressed every night when I go to bed.  I go through variations of this ritual.  Some nights, I’m fortunate and can sleep within 30 minutes.  Last night was one of the longer bouts of insomnia.   Now the day is almost over and I just feel like I wasted the entire day.

*Note: I wrote this on Tuesday July 1st.

If things work out, I might be making a trip to Taiwan this year.  I hope to be there for at least 2 weeks.  I’m looking for travel tips for Taiwan – interesting places to see, hidden gems, places to avoid, tips to get around, where to stay and of course where to eat.  Right now, I’m starting to checkout some travel sites.  EVA air now flies from Toronto to Taipei.  It’ll be good to fly direct.  I hope they will have some seats on sale.

It’s been awhile since I’ve actually traveled on vacation.  My old backpack sits in the corner of my bedroom looking rather sad.  It’s just waiting there patiently for me.  I don’t think this trip will be a backpacking type of trip though.  It’s just to get away for awhile.

It was a bright and warm Saturday morning.  I dropped into one of the many coffee shops in my ‘hood.  After I got my coffee, I walked towards the front to sit by the window.  The big leather couch is usually crowded but there is a small table just off to the side.  But today, no one sat at the front.  Instead,  there was an elderly homeless woman sitting in the big leather couch.   She appeared to be taking a nap.  I paused and grabbed another table off to the side.  I would glance up occasionally from my book at look at her. She would nod off, wake up, look around as if to see she was in any danger and then nod off again.  She had this faint smile on her face just before she nodded off.  I was surprised no one from the staff had approached her.

After awhile, I noticed 2 women sitting down in in front of homeless woman while an employee from the coffeeshop sat beside her.  I overheard bits of conversation “social worker… do you have a place to stay… identification… I understand…”  The 3 women all appeared to be genuinely interested in helping her.  The homeless woman didn’t appear the be defensive or angry.  After about 10 mins, the employee had to go back to work and the homeless woman continued to chat with the 2 women.

They were still chatting when I left.  It was nice to see a bit of humanity and hope.